Buddy-Buddy

There are no innocents. There are, however, different degrees of responsibility.
-Stieg Larsoon
"The Girl Who Played With Fire"

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 14, 1985
Friday

Ma and Pa received the Anniversary cards I sent them. They liked them, too.

I spoke to Rachelle several times throughout the day. She is going to accompany me to Pittsburg tonight to have dinner at Dale’s house. She went to my place again today and took her brother and a couple of his friends to the Islandia Pool and the Alameda beach.
Rachelle said, “While I was at the beach you’ll never guess who I ran into.”
“Who,” I asked with major league curiosity.
“You know that aerobics instructor, Jeff, at our gym.”
“Oh God, he’s so Q.B.L.”
“Yeah, and he was wearing a blue striped bikini!”
“Well, that answers the Q.B.L. question.”
She laughed and said, “And yeah, some black dude tried to swoop on me and so did Ron, the windsurfer.”
“Oh great, do you mean the so-called friend of mine, Ron?”
“I think so.”
“Yes, he’s the one who wanted me to take up windsurfing.”
“That’s funny because he invited me to go windsurfing with him.”
“Did you?”
“No way,” replied Rachelle.
Lucky for me she didn’t windsurf with him. Then again, he’s kind of Q.B.L., too. So…whatever.

After work I arrived home and made the mistake of taking the freeway to Rachelle’s house. I was late and we didn’t arrive in Pittsburg until 7:30PM. We went to the pool and had fun. Rachelle and Dale tried to get me to float. They already knew of my fear of water but they relaxed me a bit. My fear is still there. When and whether the fear will ever go away is beyond me. Now Rachelle wants to take scuba diving lessons with Dale. Give me a break! I sometimes wish they wouldn’t be so ‘buddy-buddy’. It bugs me. I want my beautiful Aquarius all to myself.

We ate dinner and watched JOAN RIVERS. We played with Andrew for a while, too. Dee was sweet. We started to watch the movie “9 to 5” but left by 11PM. I drove directly to Rachelle’s house in Castro Valley. We kissed each other good night and made plans for the beach tomorrow.

"What with one sort of attachment and another you are doing away with your usefulness."
-Joseph Conrad
"The Secret Agent"

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The People In Our Lives

"In the end it's the people in our lives who provide the balance to help us make it through life."
-KYLE-XY, Season II

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 13, 1985
Thursday

Dale drove right up next to me in the parking lot in San Francisco on this morning.
“I’ve changed my mind and I am definitely not going to gossip anymore,” Dale said.
“Oh, you are, huh?”
“Yes, I have a second chance with you and Rachelle and I don’t want to intrude. I blew it with Joe and Ryan and I don’t want it to ever happen again.”
“What happened with Joe and Ryan anyway?”
“Oh, I don’t want to go into the whole story.”
“Okay, whatever.”

Rachelle is worried.
“Michael, I think I may be pregnant!”
And last night we did ‘IT’ again, so nine months from now…who knows? Now I’m worried. I love her so, yet, sometimes I wonder if she realizes how much I do. She always wants reassurance. I wish my words were more persuasive.

I was supposed to go to TGIF’s tonight for Mary McTiernan’s birthday but I decided against it. I came home and Rachelle was there. We remained at my house and ‘played’. Then we went to Central Alameda for a bite to eat. There weren’t any good restaurant choices, so we ended up at the Ice-Cream Dock. Rachelle saw a ring she liked at the Harbor Bay Isle Jewelers display window.

After dinner we went back to my house and cuddled along with all of that good stuff. I love her body so. I hope she loves mine as much—but with Bob Maloney as competition I feel a bit of a downer. She almost thrives on it when she uses him as a jealousy ploy.

Margaret Lai is having a birthday party for her son, Lance in July. She wants me, Rachelle and Ashley to attend. I think that might be fun. Margaret is a sweetie.

Danny Garcia called me. He is in a kind of a downer mood. I think it’s because the way things aren’t with him and Robert now. Then again he claims to be glad of the break-up. He is still living with Laurie (a weird kind of gal). Anyway, Danny somehow arranged it to come over here--to my house--for a visit on Tuesday night 'to talk' over dinner. He knows about me and Rachelle.
In fact, Danny said, “I’m glad that you’ve found someone that you truly feel happy with.”

Rachelle and I still have our ‘ups and downs’ as is the case with most relationships. Our good times do outweigh the bad…I think.

"You wouldn't believe what a dead finger does to a living hand. You can't draw with it if you want to become an architect, you can't type in an office, you can't grab hold of things where there's heavy labor to be done. Little devil of a tendon, just a wisp of a thing, and everything you want to do in your LIFE hangs by a thread like that. It's like when you make a mistake of a millimeter on the ground plan of a building, one little thing and it all comes crashing down."
-Stefan Zweig
"The Post-Office Girl"

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Worries

I know you always have a reason for what you do, but this certainly puzzles me.
-Bram Stoker
"Dracula"

During a rainy day in Paris Alan and I saw a film called "COLD SOULS", starring Paul Giamatti.

Paul Giamatti stars as the actor himself, agonizing over his interpretation of "Uncle Vanya." He is anxiety-stricken and stumbles upon a solution via a New Yorker magazine article. The article mentioned a high-tech company that helped people alleviate their suffering by extracting their "souls.

It was an odd 'what if' sort of premise but it caught my interest for being so innovative and amusing. Giamatti discovers that his soul (when extracted) is the size and shape of a chickpea. I couldn't help laughing. After the movie I decided my soul is the size of ripe, yellow pear. Why? I have no idea.

Giamatti had planned to reinstate his soul once he survives his performance as "Uncle Vanya". However, there are complications with an even more wild sub-plot about soul-trafficking to Eastern Europe.
PHOTO: Actor, Paul Giamatti

The ending stumped me--but then I realized it was a good ending because the Russian girl had fragments of Giamatti's soul. So it was no wonder that he would befriend her solitary moments as she was walking along a secluded beach. I'd see it again. Here's a film clip preview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiPAkcsqgFo

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 12, 1985
Wednesday

It’s time to worry again! My green journal number “9” is missing. I know it’s in Rachelle’s hot little hands. I know there’s more damaging and not-so-damaging information about me in there than what I have read about her in her journal. She’s going to go lay out at the Islandia Pool house today and wait for me to come home. We’re supposed to go to the gym together. I am worried. I wonder what she will read. Oh well…there’s nothing I can do at this point.

Work was sort of a freebie today. I had a meeting from 9:30AM until 12:30PM that was conducted by Marty Guerra about CENTREX and DDS telephone lines. It was semi-informative. Then my section got a free Chinese lunch because of our section being number ONE in Pac Tel equipment sales referrals.

Dale went on an off premise visit, so he was not in the office for the latter part of the day. Hurrah (in a way).

After work I sped home and was there by 5:30PM. Rachelle was sitting on my couch with wet hair, writing in her journal. We went upstairs to my bedroom and one thing led to another. Rodney wanted to give more sweets to Candy but Rachelle wouldn’t let him. Oh well.

We decided to go bicycling all the way to the gym in San Leandro. It was a good work out. We only did one set on the weights though. We saw Chuck there. He looked at Rachelle but didn’t say much except when Rachelle asked, “What’s wrong?”
Chuck answered loudly, “Nothin’, what’s wrong with you?”
Chuck said this right in front of Bob Maloney. I could tell it embarrassed Rachelle. I wasn’t around when it happened but Rachelle just had to share that tidbit moment with me.

After our work out we rode my bikes to my house. We arrived at 10PM or so. Then I drove to NATION’s Burgers for burgers to-go.
The sales girl at Nations asked, “What’s your first name?”
I said, “Rodney.”
Rachelle made the cutest expression when I said it.

We ate the burgers at my house but most of the French fries were devoured during the drive to my house. The work out made us ultra hungry.

Rachelle kissed me good night and then she went home. She got some sun burn from lying in the sun for part of the day (by the pool) today. Tomorrow is her last day of school.

"It's been a long day. We can go on sifting tomorrow."
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl Who Played With Fire"

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Whispering To One's Self

The first thing is to realize exactly what he has done as yet. We may, then, get a light on what his task is to be.

-Bram Stoker
“Dracula”

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 11, 1985
Tuesday

“Heidi and I are coming to your house tomorrow to lay out by your pool,” Rachelle said to me by telephone.
“That’s a great idea!” I exclaimed.

Dale picked me up in the morning and we drove in to The City together (after we picked up a cute lady at a North Oakland bus stop so that we could carpool through the fast lane).

Ryan whispered to me near my desk, “I’m on the OUTS with Dale because of his meddlesome ways in regards to me and Joe.”
“Why am I not surprised?” I asked.
Believe me, I could relate to Ryan’s disclosure. My relationship with Rachelle can vouch for that. God knows Rachelle has told Dale all sorts of shit and who knows what he knows (since I now know that he read parts of my green journal while in Las Vegas!).

Dale and I went and bought some greeting cards during our lunch hour. I bought one for Dad for Father’s Day. I got an Anniversary card for ‘mom and dad’ because there Anniversary is June 15th. I also bought Mary McTiernan a birthday card (June 13th).
Dale said, “Michael, I want you to know something.”
“Yeah, what?”
“I’ve changed and I will not gossip or meddle anymore.”
I laughed and said, “Dale, one cannot change overnight. You’ve got one hell of a difficult task.”
“You’ll see.”
Again I laughed and I thought that it’s just like when he said he was forfeiting soft drinks and, yet, he keeps on drinking them.

I persuaded Dale into not participating in an aerobics class that Rachelle will be conducting at my house. And then he changed is mind later.

Dale and I left the office. Dale invited Will in Priority Accounts to join our car pool to Alameda. After dropping Will off at his apartment complex we went to my house. Rachelle and Heidi had supposedly left. I found a note on the dining room table written by Rachelle that stated: ‘My mom called and I’m in trouble, so I had to go home.’

As it turned out both Rachelle and Heidi were hiding in my closet. It was a pleasant surprise. Dale got a kick out of it, too. We all ate pizza and did aerobics. We asked Marty, my roommate, to join us.
“Oh Thanks but I’m off to L.A. for a two-day seminar,” Marty replied.
Rachelle gave us a good class. I kind of wished Ryan had come to join in on the fun. I hate having a ‘fallen angel’ (a la Charlie’s Angels’ Jill).

Danny Garcia telephoned while Dale, Rachelle, Heidi and I were lounging. I cut him off short and told him I’d call him back. Then, Frank Vasconcellos called.
Frank said, “You won’t believe this. I met this guy named Mark and another guy named Bruce Goree. The Bruce guy mentioned your name and said he met you at traffic school one time.”
“Give me a break,” I said, realizing that Dale, Rachelle or Heidi would not have a clue what I just heard.
Apparently, Bruce was asking Frank all sorts of questions about me. Ugh…I hate that. Poor Frank—he wants me to take him to Baxter’s some night soon.
“I will, Frank, I will,” I said.
I don't remember how I got off of the phone--but I did.

It was sad when Dale, Rachelle and Heidi left me all by myself. It became so quiet. I cleaned up and returned Frank’s call and we talked a little while longer.
Frank said, “I ran into George Jones a couple of times at the ‘Bench and Bar’ and the ‘Troc’ in San Francisco.”
“You did? Did he say anything to you?”
“No. We never talk because we hate each other.”
I figured they hate each other because of the jealousy they had over me at one time. I wonder if it means that deep down they really are attracted to one another. Frank denies it in a major way. Ha-ha. I have not seen George Jones in so long. It is fine with me. Rachelle brings him up on occasion (after learning of my fascination for him in my journal). As I looked through my photo album tonight I saw his picture and it brought back memories. I remember asking Rachelle if she’d seen his picture and explained that he was the one pictured with Paige LaBris. Rachelle ‘freaked out’.
“Oh my God, I thought Paige was his girlfriend and she was IN LOVE with him!” Rachelle screeched.
“Yes, well...that was him,” I said.
“Well, I have to commend your taste in men,” Rachelle added. 
Her comment made me laugh out loud (and surprised me at the same time). George was nice looking in his own way but as I reminisce I cannot believe how far that relationship actually got even if it was only from July 1983 to October 1983.
PHOTO:  George Jones

I telephoned Rachelle and learned that she left her journal here at my house!
“You better not read it!”
“You know I wouldn’t do that.”
I was ecstatic. I couldn’t wait to read her journal.

Rachelle wrote about some guy named Eric and Joe (the usual ex-boyfriend). She did write how much she loved me. She specifically wrote ‘I don’t want to blow it with Michael’. I guess this means something but I’m not sure exactly what—but I can read into it (as beneficial).

I wondered if Rachelle would go out on me and date someone else at all. She does seem to look at other guys. She knows and gets phone calls from other guys, too. I know I am her current center of attention but if she does go out on me it is definitely OVER as far as I’m concerned.

Dale made his usual snide remarks regarding my incompetence at some of the aerobic moves tonight. He should talk! Dale went ‘on and on’ about my correcting ways upon him and others. I noticed that Rachelle has written in her journal with reference to me as “Mr. Perfect”. Ha-ha. How crude. Let me think…what else did her journal reveal?

I got the impression that Joe Smith (Rachelle’s ex-beau) still wants her. He seems to think Rachelle still loves him—but I don’t know about that. She did write a comment about having the feeling of ‘wanting to hang on’ to Joe. That bugs me! She did not write a whole lot but she did write how much she cared for me. She wrote that she was hesitant about marriage because of our ages (17 and 26) and because she’s got four years of college to go. She’s kind of not sure—I guess. I can see her point…at least I know her inner thoughts now and how she really does love and care about me.

Dale telephoned.
“I’m just wondering if you are mad at me over tonight.”
“No, but I have to go because Rachelle is on the other line.”
“Okay, but I want to invite you and Rachelle for dinner on Friday night at my house, and then we can watch Joan Rivers together on HBO at nine o’clock.”
“Really…hold on.”
Moments passed.
“Okay we’ll go,” I replied.
I can’t believe Dale sometimes. I read in Rachelle’s journal that Dale had invited Rachelle to join him, Ryan and Joe to go to Monterey on Sunday! I’m so glad she did not go. I think she didn’t go for a couple of reasons.
1. Her mom
2. My reaction to her going if I ever found out!

Rachelle and I had a quaint and loving chat tonight. She called Chuck and I listened quietly as a third party. Chuck still has strong feelings for Rachelle.
Chuck said, “I love you.”
While I was listening on the other line Chuck also made rude comments in reference to my name.
“How’s Michael?” Chuck asked.
Rachelle said, “Okay.”
Then Chuck rambled on about how he just plain did not like that she was going out with me.
Chuck said, “Listen, I’ll be at the gym at six o’clock tomorrow night.”
I want to be at the gym 'at that specific time' only because I’m curious to the look at his face when he sees me there with Rachelle, working out together.

Rachelle then called Jim in Walnut Creek. Jim is a music writer and longtime friend of Rachelle’s. He seems to like her, too! I don’t get it. She’s sort of stringing along these guys. I don’t know what to make of it. At least she’s making sure she allots all of her time (or at least most of it) for me. That’s a plus in my favor.

I showered before bedtime and thought of Rachelle. She’s happy. She’s not worried about me, my past or us any more (so she says).

I am anxious, and it soothes me to express myself here. It is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.
-Bram Stoker
“Dracula”

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Euphoria

"It was the most beautiful sound in the world. It was part mathematics and part euphoria...the sound of the piano."
-KYLE-XY, Season I

Some of the most beautiful pieces for PIANO:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASqTgJExCtw

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 10, 1985
Monday

I made it smoothly into work on Monday. I did not talk to Dale Orlando at all in the morning.

Dale and Ryan were sitting at a cafeteria table, so I joined them. They kind of had some personal things to talk about so I left. They proceeded to go outside. Dale and I did not exchange one word which is no loss on my part. His attitude and playfulness over other people’s lives irks me.

I telephoned Rachelle several times today. We continuously tell each other how much we love each other. I find this to be a very good sign for our relationship.

Dale wrote me a note: ‘Just so you know…I have not told Ryan anything against you or anyone else for that matter.’
The note leads me to believe that he probably did say something to Ryan against me. I decided to make up with him per Rachelle’s request.

And so…I invited Dale to go to lunch.
“Maybe you can help me find a birthday gift for my brother and a Father’s Day gift for my dad,” I said.
“Okay,” Dale said meekly.
We ended up at Wendy’s with Sue Fischer and Mary McTiernan.
“I have news,” Dale announced, “Dee and I are going to get a divorce.”
Dale has his indecisive troubles in life. I think he wants to lean towards the ugly, depressing, gay lifestyle. (To each his own.)

After work I locked my keys in my car but I managed to get them out thanks to Cindy Chow’s Tupperware spatula. I went home feeling hot and tired. I slept until 7PM when Danny Garcia called me.
I thought of that famous line, “Only your hairdresser knows for sure.”
Danny is at '833-0739' now in San Ramon. He is no longer living with Robert.
“I am living with Janice and someone else,” Danny said, “I am planning to stay here until the end of August when I finish my roller-skating triumphs.”
“That’s great!” I exclaimed.
“Yeah, it may be. I might possibly move down south after the roller-skating competitions.”
Danny’s a nice guy. I just hate to get involved in any way because I think he wants something from me that I cannot give.

I went to the gym to release all anxieties. Buddy was there. He’s a nice chap.
Rachelle said, “I’m not going to the gym because I need to study with Heidi.”
Her reasoning sounded trivial and I simply shrugged and went to work out alone. Susan, the aerobics instructor, was there. I watched her instruct a class. She really has a sexy body. She caught me looking at her. I caught her looking at me. (?)

While in the shower Buddy came by and said, “I was looking for you and then I saw you on the LifeCycle.”
“Yeah, I’m trying to make it here when I can.”
“It’s not easy sometimes.”
“No, it’s hard to work out when you’ve slacked off for three or four days in a row.”
“Yeah, you can say that again.”
It felt funny talking to him in the shower. I always get those ‘checking you out’ vibes. It bugs me. I like to take a quickie shower and then ‘scram’.

I left the gym and came home. I immediately called Rachelle. We had a nice talk while I was in bed. We had the usual ‘Always on My Mind’ conversation about my past homosexual experiences.
“I’m dying to read your past journals just to solve my curiosity,” Rachelle said.
I thought to myself, “I knew it—because I don’t detail my past relationships. It’s really not necessary to read my journals.”
I said, “Listen Rachelle, it’s you I love now. I want us to continue to grow in love.”
She moaned sweetly.

I was not sleepy, as the long sleep yesterday has fortified me, but I could not help experiencing that chill which comes over one at the coming of the dawn, which is like, in its way, the turn of the tide.
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl Who Played With Fire"

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State of the Heart

 There's an inherent limit to the stress that any material can bear.  Water has its boiling point, metals their melting points.  The elements of the spirit behave the same way.  Happiness can reach a pitch so great that nay further happiness can't be felt.  Pain, despair, humiliation, disgust, and fear are no different.  Once the vessel is full, the world can't add to it.
-Stefan Zweig
"The Post-Office Girl"

Does any one remember 'State of the Heart'?
Listen...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mexnI_I7Sts

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 9, 1985
Sunday

Rachelle Davies thought ‘Rodney’ didn’t like her anymore but she realized that wasn’t the case per Michael’s insistent persuasion. Besides, between the alcohol and going to bed late the last few nights it wasn’t surprising for Rodney to be ‘down and out’.

Rachelle and I spoke semi-seriously of marriage. She loves me. I love her. So, who knows? We made tentative marriage plans for July 1, 1986 (next summer).

Dale called last night at 11:30PM.
I asked Rachelle, “Was that a planned phone call?”
For some reason I could tell that it was planned. I don’t appreciate Dale’s gabby mouth, telling Rachelle about historic events in my life that I should never have told him in the first place. I am referring to George Jones and how he almost moved in with me OR the night I dropped Dale off at a BART station in San Francisco and supposedly took Ron Shelly (Ryan’s ex-lover) home. I know the facts and I am just so glad that Rachelle believes in me. She is totally enthralled and ‘in love’ with me. Rachelle Davies makes me feel the way I want to feel…as a ‘Happy Man’.

My arms got sun burnt and are now beginning to look tan from my recent bike ride to Castro Valley.

Mom telephoned at 9:15AM. I woke up and rode my bike over to have breakfast with mom and dad. It was pretty good. It was one of those ‘feeling lazy’ kinds of Sunday days.

I tried calling Rachelle several times throughout the day but—I guess---she had her ringer turned off. I stayed at mom and dad’s house and took a nap. When I heard Tony and Helen Armijo arrive I got up and we all got lazy together by just lounging around on mom’s sofa. We gabbed about what to name their baby which is due to be born on October 20th. They have a tentative name of ‘Anne Farrah Armijo. We all joked around. Helen sort of manicured my ginger nails. I clipped my toe nails. It’s a good thing, too (as I hadn’t planned later that evening that Rachelle’s ‘Candy’ would feel a taste of my big toe. Ha-ha.

I finally got through to Rachelle at about 5pm. We spoke of getting together tonight. I was to call her in half an hour to firm things up. When I called again she asked, “Can you come over at six-thirty?”
“Sure, I’ll be there on the dot.”

When I arrived to Rachelle’s house I recommended we go to San Ramon for a bit to eat even though she’d already eaten. I had not.
“Have you talked to Dale?” Rachelle asked.
“No, why do you keep asking me that?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, I have no desire to speak to him because of all of his meddling…to be honest.”

We cruised through San Ramon (or should I say Rachelle did as I let her drive with the convertible top down). She looked fine with her hair blowing in the wind. We couldn’t find any one real exciting place to eat so we settled at WENDY’s in Castro Valley. Then we ended up at the Ice-Creamery on Castro Valley Boulevard (which was pretty good). By now, dusk was upon us.

We went to my house and Rodney, Candy, Rachelle and Michael had no trouble at all ‘fooling around’. We were having lots of fun over it. We lounged and stuff, too.
“Can I read you journal again?” I asked.
“No way,” Rachelle answered, being unusually over protective of it.
“Oh come on.”
“Oh no!”
I read one portion over her shoulder where she wrote that ‘Michael is twenty-six years old and is ready to get married’.
I thought, “Hmm…I guess I am ready.”
“I have an idea, Rachelle.”
“What?”
“Why don’t we go to the San Francisco Airport and fly to Reno or Vegas and tie the knot and NOT tell anyone.”
“Okay, let’s do it.”
She surprised me. She was all for it. So, I don’t know. Time will tell. I do know that I love her lots. After more ‘playing around’ we went for a bicycle ride from 9:30pm to 10:30pm around Bay Farm Island and South Shore. It was fun. She made me laugh when she crashed at Crown Memorial Park over a wooden railing. And then to top it off she rode through some sprinklers and got all wet. It was the most fun bike ride I’d had in a long time.
“Michael that was the most fun I’ve ever had with a guy.”
I guess those words sure made me feel good.

I feel guilty now because last week I only went to the gym twice. The week before that I only went twice. I have slacked off. It is a time for new beginnings. I have a new journal. I will start with regular aerobic classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will be very tone this summer. I am going to try to have something to flaunt come the first week in September (that time that I will be off from work).

After our fun bike ride Rachelle and I returned to my house. She made me laugh when she couldn’t see where she was going and started to scream.
“You know…we could own one of those Harbor Bay homes overlooking the lagoon if we go into selling cocaine.”
“Yeah, right…you’re too funny today.”
“I know some guy who has a source in Florida who provides him with cocaine. He said he’d give me an eight-ball of coke if I paid him three-hundred fifty dollars.”
“What? Eight-ball?”

“Yeah, I could sell it for five-hundred and make profits galore.”
“No way!”
“Yeah, this guy has a black Mercedes and his girlfriend has a new Corvette.”
“It sounds good but…in the long run who would we sell it to? And what happens if we got caught?”
“I can sell at a party like that,” Rachelle said as she simultaneously snapped her fingers.

Rachelle thought my brother, John, was the eldest. I explained that today was his twenty-third birthday.
“I need to buy John a birthday present. I have to buy my Dad something, too, because Father’s Day is next Sunday!”

Rachelle and I had some orangeade. We kissed and caressed. I love to HUG her.
Rachelle said, “You never seem to reassure me of how you feel.”
“What? Here I send you cards, call you all of the time, kiss you, and hug you…not to mention Rodney’s feelings. Are you kidding?”
She smiles. I love her smile. I love her body, her everything. Oh, there are exceptions like her spats of bursting that lead to fights that she always seems to initiate!

Rachelle drove home. I drove back. I called her when I returned home but she got a call from her friend, Curtis. She spoke to him from 12:30PM to 1:30PM. Then, she decides to call me back! She knows full well that I have to work tomorrow, too.
“I was going to call Planned Parenthood tomorrow about the pill,” Rachelle revealed.
“Oh…well, that’s a good idea.”
She shrugged. I think she wanted to talk more.
I was so tired when she called that I said, “I’ll call you back tomorrow.”

I guess I’ll see Rachelle at the gym. I remember her telling me that she loved me after she’d got off the phone with Curtis, so that’s a good sign. I wonder what she talked to Curtis about. Did she tell him about me? I wonder what, if anything, did she tell Chuck. Chuck called her yesterday. He’s the one who took her to her Junior Prom. The main thing now is that I am the ‘one man’ she wants. Though my true rival (according to her) is Rick Springfield, the singer.

"Now you've had a taste of youth. It's never satisfying but you'll always want to go back for more."
-Michelle Pfeiffer as 'Lea de Lonval'
(2009 Drama/Romance Film "Cheri")

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A Pretty Intelligent Girl

On the other hand, she disliked personal discussions, which always led to snooping around in areas she considered private.
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl Who Played With Fire"

Twenty-five years ago today:

June 8, 1985
Saturday

I went to bed at 2:30AM or so last night—thanks to Rachelle. At lease she drives my car to her house and then I only have to drive one-way back to my house. I still feel sleepy when I have to drive home at that hour. I almost hit a curb last night from being half-asleep while driving.

I rode my bike to mom’s house at about 11AM. Ma and Pa were getting ready for my cousin, Rebecca Ortega’s wedding. I wasn’t invited. I had a small glass of juice and then, at noon, I rode my bike all the way to Castro Valley. I stopped at Rachelle’s house, arriving a little before 1:30PM. We shared a Diet-7-UP. I was so thirsty. We went in her backyard and did a little mountaineering by hiking beyond her backyard. There were tons of weeds and I was having nightmares over the potential of getting poison oak.
“I’ll be able to use it as an honest and true excuse from work if I do get poison oak,” I said to Rachelle.
She laughed.
Rachelle knew of a little clubhouse during the hike. So we went inside and it was a good place for ‘a little quickie’—but we didn’t do anything. We went back to her backyard and felt all queasy and itchy. It was like having a hay fever attack. I didn’t like that itchy feeling at all.

I left Rachelle’s by 3PM and went zooming along on my bike down Greenridge Drive. It was killer scary for a second or two around that one curve.

I stopped at a 7-11 Convenient Store across the street from Humana Hospital for an apple juice and a Hawaiian punch. I needed the liquids. I arrived home around 4:30PM. Rachelle called me to verify that I be there at 8:45PM for our planned dinner outing to Bobby McGee’s in San Ramon.

I slept until 6:15PM, dressed and showered. I stopped by mom’s house and she gave me the family scoop and gossip at Becky’s wedding. There was a funny coincidence, too. I told Rachelle about my cousin, Becky, and it turns out that Becky has cut Rachelle’s hair. Rachelle goes to ‘The Main Attraction’ often. It’s the hair salon where Becky works. The wedding was “pudgy” so-to-speak with only Champagne and Hors d’oeuvres.
Mom said, “There was no big meal or anything.”
“That’s disappointing.”
“So what else?”
“Well, Judy Garcia, got a divorce. Her husband was fooling around with another woman in their own house while Judy was asleep. And then he threw her out, the police came and everything.”
What a nightmare. Judy is my cousin, too.

I told Rachelle the Judy story over dinner.
“I wonder if her husband’s name is Joe Smith,” Rachelle said, referring to her ex-boyfriend.
I laughed aloud, “Why would you say that?”
“Oh, because I gave him my house key and he screwed some freshman girl named Tina in my own bedroom. I even have proof of the fact!”
“You’re kidding me! What a creep is all I have to say.”

I was just happy that Rachelle and I had each other now. The waitress that served us at Bobby McGee’s was named “Flo”. She was funny and the meal was good despite having to look at Rachelle’s very rare prime rib.

Before we went into the restaurant I wrote a bit in my journal. Rachelle did the same with the new journal I gifted her. She got all pissed-off when I turned off the car light. What a baby! She nags at me sometimes like I’m her mother or father. I’m only trying to help and she thinks I think she’s stupid. I think she’s a PIG (a Pretty Intelligent Girl).

After our nice dinner we went to my house. I’d already had a melon midori margarita. We ended up making margaritas at my house. We lounged around in the living room. She let me browse through her red journal book. We were buzzed and she began to make a few statements regarding my sexuality.
“What would you do at this point?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“What wouldn’t you do?”
“You’re talking in riddles.”
“I feel unsure about where you and I are concerned,” Rachelle said.
“You know I love you.”
“I know.”
“And you know you’re the only one that I want, right?”
“Yes.”
“You know—you amazed me the other day when you said you wouldn’t care if Bob Maloney and I did something together. Why did you say that?”
“I don’t know.”
“And I know you were ‘head over heels’ over him at the gym for a while.”
We laughed.

Rodney was ‘out of it’. Michael was tired as well, considering they’d both been going to bet at 3AM the last few days—be it over the telephone or whatever. So, Rodney and Candy (that’s what I named Rachelle’s you-know-what) had a brief fooling around session…but nothing climactic.

Rachelle got on Michael’s case about not paying enough attention or not making the first move, making her feeling unwanted. I changed those vibes by the end of the night.

His humility, his submissiveness, touched her, and when he finally took her in his arms, she did not resist.
-Stefan Zweig
"The Post-Office Girl"

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