It's A Story

"I was beginning to contrive a dream of "us" being together."
-SOLDIERS GIRL
2002 motion-picture

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 4, 1986
Thursday

Frank, at The Placement Center, claims that the San Leandro Staff Representative position has been offered to someone.
He kept my hopes up by saying, “You still may have a chance at it though.”
So, who knows?

I didn’t bother to go to the gym today. Instead I evaluated my move to open a Capital Asset Account at CITICORP.

Mark Landreth telephoned. He was in good spirits as we made arrangements to go to Cindy Ostegren’s party tomorrow (Friday) night.

I did my aerobics tape at home for a good hour. Then I decided to ‘hit the hay’.

I wrote Mark Landreth a letter (See BLOG dated 07-14-2011, “The Guy”):
http://007gentleman.blogspot.com/2011/07/guy.html

I don’t know if I’d ever give it to him though.
It’s a story—a relatively true one.

"I have my music to warm my heart."
-Together,
2003 film from CHINA

Read More

Two Of Hearts

How much does a man live, afer all?
Does he live a thousand days, or one only?
For a week, or for several centuries?
How long does a man spend dying?
What does it mean to say "for ever"?
-Pablo Neruda

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 3, 1986
Wednesday

I cannot believe I arrived in San Francisco so early this morning. It’s 6:30AM. One just never knows how the traffic conditions will be on a given day. The 6:30AM time is the usual time that I’d be waking-up. Oh well-I’m getting paid a bit extra for this 7AM overtime. Is it worth my NOT getting a worthwhile amount of sleep? I feel a trite fat this morning. I had intended on doing some aerobics last night. I didn’t even get to do that.

That’s quite complimentary (as I recall) when Johnny Schaefer said, “You are out of my league.”
Perhaps I am out of a number of people’s leagues (even so-called millionaires) like Leonard and Chad (a kid that has doctors as parents). I am happy with myself right now. That’s of primary importance.

Ashley is with her other grandmother, Janet Lewis, until Thursday or Friday. I miss her already.
My mom said, “You know, I asked Ashley about her Uncle Mike going on the airplane.”
“You did?” I asked.
“Yes, and she started to cry!”
“That’s so sweet. It makes me feel so loved by her. She probably thought I was going far, far away and not coming back.”

You know—I keep hearing this song by Stacey Q called TWO OF HEARTS. It heaps my desire and drive. I just LOVE this tune. The other one by The Human League called HUMAN is a good one, too.
TWO OF HEARTS music video:

Emmy Pena, a fat, jolly and friendly man in my office has just returned from a vacation in Hawaii. He is very, very dark from being in the sun for so long. It’s unbelievable. He’s so dark!

Margaret Lai and I ate lunch at B and M Chinese today. Yummy.

Mark Landreth didn’t make it to the gym today. He couldn’t locate his gym ID card.

Anne Alberti was at the gym. We will all likely go out this Saturday night to HORATIO’s in Berkeley.

I was invited to Cindy Ostegren’s party in Alameda (as Mark Landreth had said I might). I had called Mark about it; thereafter, Cindy called me. Mark’s cool.

I decided to telephone Annabelle Montero and her brother, Mike, in Downey, CA once again. They both got on the phone and were happy to hear from me.
Annabelle said, “We may come up to San Francisco again in October.”
“That’s so funny. Mark and I were thinking of coming down to L.A. in October, for Halloween.”
I have to tell Mark about the conversation. He’ll be thrilled.

Kathy Ortega and Stu Western were at the gym. I rapped with them for a while. I feel OOS (Out Of Shape). The nautilus weight-training was hard for me tonight.
PHOTO: Fire Island

Paul Dean called me from New York. He’s the aspiring actor I met on Fire Island. I had written him a card. I was surprised to hear from him.
I said, “You know, Paul, you’re welcome to visit here in the Bay Area sometime…anytime.”
He thanked me. I wonder if I’ll ever hear from him again.

I also wrote a nice card to Jeanette Melcher in San Diego. I have yet to hear from her again.

I spoke to Suzy Miller today.
“You know, Suzy, you can move-in with me for three hundred dollars a month.”
She seemed stunned and made me feel like it was too hefty a sum for her. It’s a deal. Oh well, now I’m unsure about that one. She will likely not take me up on the offer.

I have to call Frank. He’s a friend of Margaret Lai’s that works at the Placement Center. He may be able to pull some strings for me on that Staff Representative position in San Leandro. We shall see.

Something new, a silent time of deeper thinking, had entered my life, and I associate it with those afternoons of silent reading.
-Janet Frame,
An Autobiography

Read More

Yearning for Help

I stood in the light of my desk lamp staring at the half dozen or so unanswered letters that lay in an untidy pile, and felt reassured by them. I was trying to soothe myself by remaining busy.
-Ian McEwan
"Enduring Love"

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 2, 1986
Tuesday

I called the JOBS HOTLINE telephone number today only to learn that there is a Staff Representative position available in San Leandro on Doolittle Drive (just minutes from my home). I immediately submitted for this job with my fingers tightly crossed. I have also decided to send my ‘yearning for help’ letters to the bigwigs at Pac Bell Directory. It’s not always ‘what you know’ but ‘who you know’. Maybe someone there can pull a few strings for me.

I was bummed out that it was so busy at work today. I didn’t want to be there. I made the best of it.

Margaret Lai and I walked to Chinatown. It was fun and a nice afternoon diversion. While Margaret has transferred out of the SDC-Sales Development Center we are still buddies. Luckily, she is working in the same building.

I was truly lazy last night. I had intentions of bicycling but I chose to take a nap instead. I didn’t even go to the gym. I ended up lounging, watching television and wrote out a few liability checks. I also wrote cover letters to the bigwigs I ‘sort of know’ at Pac Bell Directory. Then I simply went to bed.

We are having a Barbeque on Sunday at my house. Plans for Friday include a possible dinner or birthday party for Mark’s friend (who lives in Alameda). Saturday night still holds true for that possible foursome dinner with me, Mark, Patty and Anne.

I am ready for a change somewhere in my life. I hope I get this San Leandro position. It would save time in commuting. Time is money, too. The Directory Sales Position would be better; however, one day it will come. I am sure of it.

I will make some phone calls tomorrow for information on Mutual Funds. I want to review the prospectus on many that have interested me.

I still never did return Johnny Schaefer’s phone call. I must do that. I feel a tad guilty since he slipped this card in my luggage. The cover of the card had a quote from Oscar Wilde: “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” Inside the card was imprinted ‘Live it up!’
Then Johnny wrote:
Well, I think “live it up” is what we did this weekend, Mike.
Thanks for everything—I had a great time. I’m gonna miss you more than you know.
Come back whenever you want.
Always,
Johnny

Maybe we'll meet up for afternoon tea one day soon.

"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
-Henry James (1843-1916)

Read More

Art Deco Postings

"It's amazing what can be achieved with charm and a tight butt!
One flash--and even the waiters are friendly!"
-William Corlett
"Two Gentleman Sharing"

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 1, 1986
Monday

While at DENNY’s I explained to Johnny Schaefer that I had no real commitments to anyone ‘at this time’.
He nodded with interest.

I think his roommate, Jeff, might like me. He seemed to carry a slight attraction towards me. He’s a blond, blue-eyed graphic artist.

Johnny asked, “How do you meet people?”
I laughed and explained, “I don’t know. It just happens. I don’t go out in search of people.”
I could tell that he seemed a bit disturbed because I didn’t comply with sensual suggestions that he made ‘under pressure’ tactics a la my leg on top of his. Ha-ha.
I explained, “I don’t want to rush into anything.”
I couldn’t hear myself saying, “I’m really not attracted enough.”
I had to be nice. In hindsight I now know that he was a mishap fling of initial excitement when we’d first met. There’s no more to it except friendship (if he wants it).

I am on my way back home now. All in all my Labor Day Weekend in Los Angeles was fun and eventful. The moral of my ‘trip’ story is ‘Have friends in every port…but leave limits where they belong and/or are appropriate’.

My AIR CAL flight got me in to Oakland International Airport in a timely manner. It was scary when I considered an Aero México flight that had crashed into a charter flight on Sunday. There were sixty-seven people on board. All of them were killed. How terrible to be wiped-out ‘just like that’. Yikes.

Ma and Pa picked me up at the airport. I tagged along with mom and Sherri to South Shore Shopping Center. Mom bought me a thermal shirt and two t-shirts. She’s a sweetheart. Why did she make these purchases for me? It’s because she loves me…I guess.

I ate at mom’s house and started to watch TV. It wasn’t long when I decided to go home where I spent most of the night attaching all of my postcards together into some sort of art form in the spare room wall where I do all of my ironing.

I spoke to Frank Vaconcellos today (886-0700). He is still living in Hayward. His mom was very nice to me over the phone. Frank and I haven’t seen or spoken to one another in months. We made a promise to get-together sometime soon.

Johnny Schaefer telephoned and left me a message on my recorder. I didn’t return his call yet. I believe he just wanted to be sure I made it home okay.  That was very kind of him.

My postcard art deco postings were inspired by Jeff (Johnny’s roommate) because he had done something similar to his room.

I don’t feel like going to work.  My car is acting up.  It won’t start-up smoothly—like it used to do. I am crossing my fingers that I won’t have trouble until the end of the week.  I will most likely take the car in for servicing on Saturday at some Auto Repair Shop.


We lived in a mist of half-shared, unreliable perception, and our sense data came warped by prise of desire and belief, which tilted our memories, too.
-William Golding
"Lord of the Flies"

Read More

Selective Feelings

For all human sentiments there is a time of early blossoming, a day of generous enthusiasm that gradually fades until nothing is left of happiness but a memory, and glory is known for a delusion.
-Honroe de Balzac
"The Unknown Masterpiece"

Twenty-five years ago today:

August 31, 1986
Sunday

By 10:30AM John and I were at DISNEYLAND to meet with Joel for our free passes. John lives only five minutes from DISNEYLAND.  He knows DISNEYLAND like the back of his hand as he had worked there for four years.  He gave me a grand tour.  The circle vision screen was miraculous. We did it all: Able Lincoln, The Bear Country, The Big Thunder Railroad, It’s a Small, Small World, Space Mountain, The Matterhorn, Mr. Toad, The Tea Cups (of which I somehow controlled).

We also left the DISNEYLAND Park and went to see the raving performance of Farrah Fawcett in her new movie called EXTREMITIES. It was really good. I enjoyed the in-depth look of decision-making over a violent act. The idea of ‘getting even’…How?

We returned to the DISNEYLAND Park and watched ‘The Electric Parade’. Johnny and I ate sundaes at the Carnation Co.  We made the ‘most of it’.


Oil Painting by Russian artist,
Antonin Ivanovitch Soungouroff  1894-1982:
Johhny Shaefer resemblance, 1986

We returned to Johnny’s pad by eleven o’clock. John was being very touchy-feely.
I blatantly explained, “I didn’t come to visit for hot sex!”
“I understand that,” Johnny nodded with a slight smile.
He definitely wanted hot sex though. He’s really NMT. We had a discussion and it made me feel uneasy.
Johnny said, “I feel like I’m out of your league.”

He was right in that I didn’t come up-front with him about my feelings. It was hard for me to explain that I am not out of his league but that I felt he was simply NMT (Not My Type). Johnny’s looks are attractive. He’s nice. His ambitious aura is an attraction.  It’s just that my own selective feelings override those qualities in him. He is a friend. He’s a good friend and that’s all he can—or ever will be.

I must be careful and yet…I am right. I am thankful I didn’t get deep enough to have hurt him.

You can't break me.  I don't have a breaking point (I was wrong).
-"127 Hours"
2010 motion-picture

Read More

The Moody Blues

We can only live for as long as we care about ourselves.
-Ray Kurzweil
"The Singularity Is Near"

Twenty-five years ago today:

August 30, 1986
Saturday

Johnny and I ‘slept in’. I went to use the potty in the early morning and I met one of Johnny’s roommates who happened to be munching on a bowl of CHEERIOS.  His name is Troy.  I was only wearing my underwear.

A little later I showered and was ready to experience more of L.A.

It was time for breakfast and Johnny, his other roommate, Jeff and enjoyed some French Toast.  We sat around the dining table discussing music, art, movies, last night, Jeff’s friend Becky.  Becky never arrived at LAX.  She was supposed to arrive from Guatemala.

After breakfast, Jeff drove us to Newport Beach.  Jeff grew up in the Tustin area—not far from Laurie Robertson apparently.  Laurie was the one I met in the early 1980s.  Jeff didn’t seem to recognize her name.

Newport Beach was very nice.  We were lucky to find such a great parking space.  We bought shaved ice cones.  I chose a cherry-pineapple flavored one (like a missile pop).  We decided to lie out on the beach for a strong part of the day (3PM-5PM).  By 5PM we went for pizza at a place called PERRY’s.

We headed home and that’s where we showered to get ready for the MOODY BLUES Concert outing.
I thought THE FIXX was very good.  I love their song “STAND OR FALL”.  The concert was relaxing. John’s music teacher, Wendy, did look like a go-go dancer on stage.  In my opinion it was a ‘let down’ for her professionalism.  She’s making big bucks to do it…so what the hell.

John kept giving me compliments about my ‘great looks’.  He was being serious.  The flattery was nice but I kept hearing the lyrics to “STAND OR FALL” in my head:

Crying parents tell their children
If you survive don't do as we did
A son exclaims there'll be nothing to do to
Her daughter says she'll be dead with you
While foreign affairs are screwing us rotten
Line morale has hit rock bottom
Dying embers stand forgotten
Talks of peace were being trodden

Stand or fall state your peace tonight
Stand or fall state your peace tonight

Is this the value of our existence
Should we proclaim with such persistence
Our destiny relies on conscience
Red or blue what's the difference

Stand or fall state your peace tonight
Stand or fall state your peace tonight

An empty face reflects extinction
Ugly scars divide the nation
Desecrate the population
There will be no exaltation
Its the euro theatre
Its the euro theatre
Its the euro theatre

Stand or fall state your peace tonight
Stand or fall state your peace tonight
Its the euro theatre
Its the euro theatre
Its the euro theatre
Its the euro theatre

It was fun to go back stage.  I enjoyed some hor dourves and met Wendy.  Johnny exchanged a few words with Justin Hayward.  Justin Hayward was born in 1946 and I hadn’t realized he was from Swindon, Wiltshire, England.  So he’s an English musician who is one of the main singers, songwriters and guitarists for the rock band THE MOODY BLUES.  We left right after that.

Johnny and I turned in rather early—at midnight or so.  I was tired.  His persistence was unavoidable ‘if one may catch my drift’.  I had to state my peace tonight.  It’s just that it’s a ONE WAY Street.  His feelings certainly override mine.  He is a friend (period).  How appropriate to see "The Moody Blues" tonight.

Day after day people mistakenly said that the heat wave had reaches its zenith and tomorrow must subside.
-Bette Bao Lord
"Spring Moon"

Read More

Hard Rock

I could never get to know him.  He's from MARS--or I'm from MARS.  No native tongue in common.
-James Kirkwood
"Good Times, Bad Times", a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

August 29, 1986
Friday

I was so happy I had made arrangements to have myself ‘released’ from work at three o’clock today. Steph was very cool about that. She bought me a flower and some red licorice because I received a ‘third test call’ for the week. The test calls reflect on her performance and when I receive a ‘test call’ I can always tell and I handle it with such finesse. The frequency of this ‘test call’ crap is unreal though. I put the testy ‘old bag’ in her place after she tried to point out some select things that she felt did not ‘match up’.

My brother, John, drove me to the Oakland Airport. Ashley came along for the ride. Ash started crying when I let myself out of the car.   She’s so cute and it really made me feel so ‘cared for’.  I love Ashley Armijo.  Did she think I was flying away forever?

Today was Margaret Lai’s last day in the Sales Development Center Business Office. She’s only moving up to the seventh floor of this same building, so we’ll likely still be having lunch together from time to time.

Cathy Boldocchi may become a Service Representative in our office (instead of an Order Writer). I hope she does it. She could easily be in my section.

I arrived at LAX-Los Angeles International Airport by 6:15PM. It was an easy flight. Johnny Schaefer was there, waiting. We went to and through the Inglewood area by mistake. There were a lot of lower income dwellings. The people had iron clad bars about the windows of their houses.  We stopped by Johnny’s church where he sings.  The church is called Blessed Sacrament Church.  It’s a very big church.  Johnny implied that it is a major landmark in Los Angeles.  I had never heard of it.

PHOTO: Howie Mandel

Johnny and I continued on over to the HARD ROCK Café in West Hollywood to ‘supposedly see’ some good-looking people.  We didn’t see very many. It was very crowded and many seemed to be in search of something.   I don't think many of them knew what they were looking for.   Was it just 'to be seen'?  Actor Howie Mandel and Olympic US Swimmer Steve Lundquist were there—but they’re no big deal.  So what.  Steve Lundquist had a slight resemblance to Ron Leoni--something around the eyes--but he was blond.   Do blondes really have more fun?   Perhaps if they're Olympic swimmers...I suppose.





PHOTO: US Swimmer,  Steve Lundquist

After waiting for dinner seating at the HARD ROCK Café for one and a half hours we decided to just leave. We drove to the area of Westwood (near UCLA). There were all sorts of shops around there. It was fun browsing at the creative T-Shirts at one shop. There was one T-shirt with a two hogs humping logo with the copy ‘See Dick Pump, See Jane Skid’. We laughed. There were all kinds of cute rhymes and pictures on these T-Shirts.

We had some Italian ice. That was refreshing---until we saw a mouse run across the sidewalk as we left Carl’s Jr’s. This Westwood area appeared clean but the mouse was “ugh”. To imagine that there’s a movie theater here, there and everywhere and that mice could be prowling about one’s heels was just overbearing for me to imagine.

After the Westwood visit Johnny drove further south to the Anaheim area. We arrived at Johnny’s place. He did buy a brass bed just like mine. Creep! Ah…it is okay, I guess. His brass bed is there…and mine’s here. We went to bed. He’s really NMT (Not My Type). He’s a good friend. I tried to sleep.

An hour later, fatigue and the pity he felf for himself disposed him to a softer mood.
-Stendhal
"The Red and The Black"

Read More