LOVE is work, life in a couple isn’t always sane or virtuous, and the world is full of lighter, brighter opportunities.-Christopher Bram
“Mapping the Territory”
Attila the Hun was the Ruler of the Huns from 434 until his death in 453. He was leader of the Hunnish Empire which stretched from Germany to the Ural River and from the Danube River to the Baltic Sea. During his rule, he was one of the most fearsome of the Western and Eastern Roman Empires' enemies. He invaded the Balkans twice and marched through Gaul (modern France) as far as Orleans before being defeated at the Battle of Châlons. He refrained from attacking either Constantinople or Rome. His story, that the Sword of Attila had come to his hand by miraculous means, was reported by the Roman Priscus.
In much of Western Europe, he is remembered as the epitome of cruelty and rapacity. However, in Hungary, Turkey, and other Turkic-speaking countries in Central Asia, he is regarded as a hero and his name is revered. Some histories and chronicles describe him as a great and noble king, and he plays major roles in three Old Norse works: Atlakvida, Volsungasaga, and Atlamal.
Twenty-five years ago today:
April 23, 1985
Tuesday
It was another day of no supervisors on the office floor. Hurrah! Maybe it will be possible for another extended lunch? No. Dale and I invited Sue Fischer and Mary McTiernan for an outing on Market Street for “hot dogs”. I noticed Mary quickly look at me after Mitch Schwartz (a geek in our office) tried to hug her. Could she really have a ‘secret crush’ on me? I kind of like her, too—but then again, I’m not real sure because of her smoking habit, etc. I don’t even know her all that well…yet.
On our last break I ordered a chocolate milkshake. Sue, Dale, Mary and I sat outside of the building because the weather has been so nice. Dale wanted to invite me to dinner this Friday but I am going to that CHICAGO concert. In a way I wish I could go to his house because there’s a movie coming out called “Arthur, The King” that I’d like to see.
After work I stopped over at mom and dad’s house to get my luggage. It was really nice. I ordered it from a catalog and it has little roll along wheels and everything. Maybe I will go to Paris in July or September (who knows) and I will be able to use the luggage.
I also stopped over at John and Sherri’s after I read the returned I129-F Immigration and Naturalization forms. Apparently, I did not fill out a portion of the form and the fee for the form is now thirty-five dollars. It’s just as well, being that I am not going to be marrying under these circumstances.
Ashley looked “cute” in her yellow pajamas. “Cute” is Dale’s overly used word. John and Sherri went to see that new Madonna movie. I was doing Sherri’s ‘Jane Fonda workout’ until I noticed Ashley in her mom’s yarn bag. I quit the workout and played with Ashley. I put her to bed at 9PM but she kept crying when I turned the lights out. It was better when I carried her and then turned the lights out and played her music box. Then she—at least—calmed down a bit. I made a quick getaway and she fell asleep.
Dale telephoned.
“We need a third person tomorrow morning for the car pool.”
“Okay, as long as you can pick me up by the TOLL Plaza,” I said.
“See you there.”
I wrote on a beach scene card for Paloma. She’ll love it. I wrote her, trying to make her understand that I could not make the marriage commitment over phone calls and letters. I explained that I needed to see her.
When John and Sherri returned home I went to my pad and called Dale again.
“Michael, I want you to call me Attila the Hun whenever I am too critical of you.”
“Oh great…I’ll have fun taking advantage of that one,” I replied.
Tomorrow Dale and I will have lunch with a friend of his who won a settlement of $60,000 from AT&T. Dale said, “He just received fifteen-thousand dollars, his first payment.”
“Lucky him. I’d buy a house.”
I read to Dale a portion of Paloma’s letter that I had written while I was at John and Sherri’s house. I didn’t read parts that I felt were too personal. I didn’t want him to be critical of it and/or suggest for me to omit certain things. Whatever it is I write…I thought.
Dale is complimentary with me on a one-to-one basis. He becomes critical amongst others more times than not. That’s all—but I am getting used to it.
------
April 23, 2010
I love this. I wrote the letter below '25 Years Ago' and mailed it to Paloma in Paris. Paloma recently sent me a 'copy' of the letter from the South of France to my current address in Paris. I had to post it on my blog today. When I read it I see myself as a mature young man and other times I see myself as a very immature young man. I guess I was a little bit of both:
April 23, 1985
Tuesday
Dear Paloma,
By now you're probably all upset and confused and may hate me forever but I hope not. Again--understand--my feelings have not changed. I care for you, love you and miss you much! I just can't make a decision of marriage over phone calls and letters. I guess I just need to be with you and see you to discuss it all. When I talked to you yesterday to tell you I'd decided against tying the knot under these circumstances I could tell you were down and out...but how do you think I felt when you said you'd have to marry someone else--gay friend or not--You'd have to live with him and with you around--he'd have no problem reforming.
I want to see you and spend time with you to see how things are... If you're not here by July (the third week) I may fly to Paris myself. If not then--I still have the option of going the first week in September--but knowing you--you'll find a way to return here sooner than I'd imagine.
Believe it or not, tonight I am babysitting Ashley. Sherri asked me to babysit while she and John went to see that new movie that Madonna is in.
I have been working out at least 3 or 4 times a week and I even continue to bike ride on the nicer days. Tonight I worked out to the Jane Fonda workout tape that Sherri has. Ashley finally went to sleep. I had to play a music box for her.
Words can't express how much I really do miss you Paloma. I bet the picture of this card really makes you feel better, huh? Well, i won't tell you about the nice weather we've been having. It drizzled yesterday.
The pictures you've shown me of Paris look so gothic. I wish I could see...and be there.
Try not to pout or feel depressed about things--please. Remember that you are constantly in my thoughts, ok. I hope you understand that I don't want to feel pressured and rushed into a marriage. Like I told you once before--if I were to marry--You're the "only" one I have eyes for--but when I make the move I want it to be the Sure Thing and A Long-Lasting Forever Together Thing. Perhaps it will be 'us'--but again that's up to you and the moves you make between now and the next 6 months. Only time will tell and wehn I see you again that'll be the real test.
I'll be in touch more frequently now to let you know of the latest goings on with me and around here.
Love & Kisses, too.
MICHAEL
I was gloating over my luck. Talk about “dues ex machina”—The Big Joker in the Sky had dropped a friend right down my chimney. And I thanked him for it. I went to sleep happy.
-James Kirkwood
“Good Times Bad Times”, a novel
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