I supposed that nature works on such a hopeful basis that we believe against ourselves that things will be as they ought to be, not as we should know they will be.
-Bram Stoker
"Dracula"
Twenty-five years ago today:
June 5, 1985
Wednesday
I decided to have a talk with Dale Orlando.
“Listen Dale, Rachelle told me she’s read my journal. Now it’s your job to find out exactly what she has read.”
“I’ll get right on it!”
At about 2:15PM Dale proceeded to give Rachelle a phone call per my request.
“You can call her now, she’s home,” I advised Dale.
Rachelle had stated how two-faced Dale is and she couldn’t wait to talk to him.
At about 3PM I went over to Dale’s desk and he had a stressed out look on his face because I knew he was talking to Rachelle. He put her on-hold and spoke to me directly.
“Get a hold of that journal, Michael, and burn it!”
I smiled. I loved seeing the sweat on his brow. The perspiration started to spread to armpit stains on his shirt.
During break time Dale spoke emotionally.
“Michael, she is taking it a lot better than I thought. I told her that you love her very much and that all you care about is her.”
“She must have read a lot of dirt on me, huh?”
“I tried to explain to her that I can never tell whether you will turn back to a guy. I told her that it’s just like her relationship with Joe…like when she couldn’t tell whether or not he was cheating on her with another girl…only Michael has a wider market to delve into.”
“Oh great,” I said.
It all sounded good at the time but I really don’t know.
At lunchtime Dale, Ryan and I went to some burrito place. We went into a jewelry shop and I looked for a ring for Rachelle—but I did not buy anything--yet.
After break Dale let me three-way call on his conversation with Rachelle. She did say that her feelings have not changed towards me.
Rachelle continued, “I have no desire to break up or anything.”
To hear those words was a great test of her love for me!
After work Dale said, “Rachelle is going to talk to you tonight on the subject. She may ask you for graphic details but promise me you won’t tell her!”
“Okay, I promise.”
Dale started to reminisce on the same scenario he had when he was eighteen and trying to explain it all to his mother.
I went to my mom’s house and ended up napping there until seven o’clock in the evening.
After my nap at mom’s, I invited mom out and we went out to the Sizzler for a casual dinner.
“I need to buy two new journals, mom. One for me and one for Rachelle.”
“Really? I didn’t know you still wrote in your journal,” Mom stated.
“Yes, I do. I’m about to begin my eleventh book.”
She accompanied me to the Hallmark Shop where I was going to purchase two blank books there but I decided to save it for a couple of better ones elsewhere.
Once my little outing with mom was over I decided to go to the gym. When I arrived at the gym I realized I needed to see—or at least speak to—Rachelle as soon as possible. So, I called her from a nearby telephone booth. I ended up inviting myself over to her house.
We sat together on her living room floor and worked on her ‘career-living on your own real-life’ report for school. We exchanged a few kisses while we were working on it. She looked at me with a few ‘I wonder’; ‘I can’t imagine it’ sort of looks regarding my past.
Rachelle and I now have a plot to get Dale. I am going to engage him in a three-way phone call without letting him know that Rachelle is on the other line tomorrow. We are trying to scheme together to fool Dale. It’s so confusing to me because both Rachelle and Dale are so alike in their cunning and ruthless ways. It’s difficult for me to tell who’s on my side sometimes.
Rachelle, I feel, really listens to what Dale has to say. In essence, Dale influences her thoughts and feelings about me. I should be the only controlling force in her views of me. Dale may know me fairly well but I can hardly trust him all of the time. He seems to lie sometimes. Then he will tell the truth later. Regardless, my sole train of ‘intimate thought’ is upon Rachelle right now.
Although, I did receive a postcard from Paloma today. I was pleasantly surprised. I have tried to persuade Rachelle that Paloma and I are merely friends but I don’t know if it is working. She is clearly jealous of her. Rachelle claims that Paloma’s face is not pretty. I feel that is so cruel of her to say. Anyway, Paloma will always have a place in my heart. I am afraid to tell Paloma the entire goings on between Rachelle and me. I am not sure I want to completely break off my positioning with Paloma at this point. I do love Rachelle but there are things about Paloma that are key and very special within my heart.
She was HOT in bed, sure, but she could be a very cold fish if her mood changed.
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl Who Played With Fire"
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