GQ Contest

"There is a talent to love."
-Daniel Deronda, 2002 Movie

Twenty-five years ago today

March 5, 1986
Wednesday

I telephoned Amy when I arrived at work this morning. She was pleasant. I enjoyed speaking to her. I slyly suggested our going out together some time.
Amy said, “Yeah, sure.”
She had to get off of the phone because of Daniel. He is the kid born two days before Ashley that she cares for in Lafayette, CA. Daniel was being a nuisance. Amy was hired from the East Coast to be a sort of nanny but she got the job because of her Registered Nurse credentials.

I did fairly well at work today, considering I only worked a half-day.

I am beginning to think seriously about Amy—but then again—I’m not really sure yet.

Steph Redding is entering me in some GQ Contest. I could win work for the next two years totaling a minimum of $50,000 plus. She makes it all sound too good to be true. It’s all dependent on if I win.
Steph says, “You could win, Michael. I just need two pictures of you.”
“Well, I’m skeptical. I can’t help it…but I’ll send you a couple of pictures tomorrow.”

I rode my bike from 3:45PM until about 5:30PM today. I ate a bit at home and crashed until 7:30PM when I proceeded to go to the gym for the Wednesday night workout. It was a fair, not-so-great workout. I made it home just in time for DYNASTY.

I telephoned Chad just before I went to bed and left him a message on his machine. He must’ve been home because he called me back within ten minutes.
“I’ve been working so much lately,” Chad explained.
“Yeah, me too…so are you up for Friday?” I asked.
“Yes sure.”
We had a nice talk. I learned that Randy has been hanging out with Larry a lot lately.
Chad readily revealed, “I don’t like Randy much. I think he’s out to use Larry.”
“You think so?”
Chad continued, “Yeah, you know—I had this dream that I beat Randy up.”

I soon went to bed.
I thought silently, "I hope I win that GQ Contest now.  If I do it would be fun.  Oh well…if I don’t I’ll still be happy.  Life could be worse."

With deep denial and shame, I unconciously believed that too would change.  I learned to ignore fleeting thoughts and shameful feelings that meant I was gay.
-"Telling Tales Out of School"
a book edited by Kevin Jennings