Attracted To Him

"Have you met your fate yet?"
It seemed an old-fashioned, even a Victorian expression.
-Janet Frame, An Autobiography

Twenty-five years ago today

April 17, 1986
Thursday

It was B and M Chinese Restaurant food with Margaret Lai for lunch today.

What a beautiful day. The clarity of the skyscrapers coming over the Bay Bridge this morning made me admire the City all the more. Although I now have this notion of transferring to San Jose because Mark Landreth is working in Santa Clara.  Then again---I am better off in San Francisco (I think).  The sales incentive prizes make it a little more worthwhile.

I didn’t have a very productive sales day. My calls just weren’t prospective enough. Oh well…

I went bicycling from 5:30 to 6:30 and then I went to the gym. I arrived by 7:30PM. The equipment was rearranged again. Mark showed up and we made a deal (and shook on it) to meet at Red Robin at 9:30PM tonight. It was time to celebrate because Mark closed escrow on his $108,000 home in San Lorenzo.

Now I’ll have to find out when he can move-in so that I can set up the installation for his Residential telephone service. Mark’s a real nice chap. He’s especially nice to me, so I hope we’re friends for a long time. I do want to tell him about my being attracted to him. My bisexuality (?)…all in due time.

Amy telephoned me at around 6:45PM. We talked.
Amy said, “I just got home from work.”
I thought that was funny because she lives in a guest house next to where she works as nurse and nanny. She really has a long commute.
Amy said, “I’ve lost weight after being sick those last few days. I even bought a new skirt.”
“Oh that’s cool,” I interrupted, “I can’t wait to see it.”
“It must look good since the construction workers whistled,” Amy added.
I felt like her comments about the loss of weight and the new sensational look in the new skirt were a ploy to get me riled up into liking her more (or at least wanting to see her). I still don’t feel that special magnetism like I did tonight with Joyce. I saw Joyce at my gym tonight as a matter of fact.

It’s 9:15PM now and I’m heading over to Red Robin to meet with my new buddy, Mark. I am writing in my journal while sitting here in the 24-Hour Fitness parking lot.

It was fun at Red Robin. We both ordered two MICHELOB beers. We were both eyeing this gal with a great figure; however, there was a sleaziness about her because of her blouse and the zipper that was lowered enough to see way too much of her cleavage. I was able to get Mark to agree with my interpretation.


Mark and I laughed and drank our beers as we talked about his moving-in to his house.
“I plan to move in next week,” Mark said.
“You know—I bought a house in Sacramento.”
I went on to explain how I bought it while in college with a little help from my Dad and how I sold it after I finished school. Mark showed a bit of a surprise look on his face when I told him about my house at 10209 Countryside Way in Sacramento, CA.


Mark is my new buddy, so I want to tell him some of my innermost feelings.  I wouldn’t dare—just yet.  We talked more about going to Old Sacramento tomorrow night—but no.  We decided on going to FAT FANNY’s in Danville instead.  It ought to be fun to scope the scene with him.

I swoon over the beauties of the world but am reluctant, simply as a matter of reflex, to kiss a friend on the mouth.
-Michael Cunningham
"The Hours", a novel