Fishing for Info

"My dear, dear friend," said I, "you've wounded yourself for my sake. You're in such a good position, you're surrounded by well-meaning friends...Oh, there'll be music, the sound of horses from afar, no need to worry."
"Oh God, that won't help. That won't make me happy."
-Franz Kafka
"Description of a Struggle"

Twenty-five years ago today

May 6, 1986
Tuesday

The AIDS scare is scary. There were seventy-one reported deaths in San Francisco alone for the month of April. It’s a terror and I hate to think about it. It is a problem that’s there. I feel fine and healthy—but who knows? I could be a victim—but then again---I’m usually quite selective.

I plan to send out a lot of invitations today for my Birthday Party.

I used a lot of intra-company envelopes to invite a number of people to the party. The number of people coming could be approximately ninety-two!  I don’t know what I’m going to do.  It should be fun though.

After work today I took a nap.  It’s becoming habitual.  I did go to the gym.  Rick was there and he kept prying about Mark and me.  He was fishing for info—to see if we were ‘you know what’. I didn’t disclose a thing.

I received some helpful hints for my Birthday Party from Denise, Amy, Stephanie, and mom.  Helen and Sherri will probably help me.  Boy…this will be fun!

Steve Green telephoned.  He came over to my place at 11PM.   This was beginning to be a regular thing and I wondered if it was right.

We went to the local 24-hour SAFEWAY together to buy some food.

Strangely enough...Steve called his ex and they had a ‘heated discussion’.  It made Steve feel very down and out.  This, of course, did not lift my spirits either.

A person becomes neurotic because he cannot tolerate the amount of frustration which society imposes on him
...and it was inferred from this that the reduction of those demands wuld result in a return to possibilities of happiness.
-Sigmund Freud
"Civilization and its Disconents"