Making Arrangements

"Does the idea of change alarm you?"
-"Don't Look Back" (Ne Te Retourne Pas)
2009 French film

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 31, 1986
Thursday

I hope I am accepted at Stanford. That would be ideal. It’s just such a long process that it’s kind of a drag. The forms and waiting is nerve racking.

Some fat elderly lady I’d never noticed complimented me yesterday morning in the cafeteria.
She said, “I like your hair better that way.”
I had used a blow dryer and added mousse to make it stay in place. That was all I did.

I had Jeff (a new guy in the office) sit with me today. He’s pretty nice. He grew up in San Diego. He’s kind of geeky looking though. He has a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a minor in Creative Writing. We got to talking about Creative Writing. That was interesting.
It was one hell of a busy day today. The phone was ringing off the hook.

I called Rosalyn from TEL-PLUS. They have a position for me in Field Sales. Now that it has been presented to me I am not so sure I am interested. She didn’t even mention salary. Perhaps I am better off waiting patiently for Pac Bell DIRECTORY Sales positions. She gave me a telephone number to call in Foster City, CA on Monday. I may not call. I may just try to invest in myself with more education.

Margaret was resting today after her car accident ordeal.

I went home and saw Sherri and Ashley after my one-hour bike ride. Ash was happy to see me.
“Uncle Mike, I want to go bye-bye with you,” Ashley said clearly.
That was so cute to hear her call me Uncle Mike on the phone earlier today, too.

Ron Leoni telephoned.
“You know, Ron, we arrive in New York on August 16th at 4:30PM.”
“Okay, I’m making arrangements for us.”
It sounds like we’ll have a lot of fun.

The INTERNATIONAL MALE guy telephoned me to say he was going to order another dumbbell weight for me. I still need to call him today to find out why mine doesn’t have the black rubber molding. Why do I order things by catalog and have to deal with a mess like this?

Sherri informed me of an Alameda for the Parks RUNNING Event on August 10th. I telephoned Mark Landreth about it. We’re going to do it since it’s only a 10K run. It’ll be a breeze for the two of us.

It looks like our strike may last for a good month. This will be fine with me. I don’t mind that time span at all. In fact—in a strange way--I’m looking forward to it.

I have decided to not follow-up and call TEL-PLUS in Foster City. If they really want me they’ll call me again.

I made arrangements to pick-up Margaret Lai and her son, Lance, on Saturday morning. We are going on a picnic to ANGEL ISLAND.

"How are you going to improve things in the future?"
-COMING OUT,
1989 German film

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A Car Accident

"There's never a right time here."
-His Secret Life
2001 Italian Film

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 30, 1986
Wednesday

I decided to give dad his new electric lawn mower gift for his birthday (August 8th) instead of waiting until Christmas. I figured it would be nice for him to enjoy it now.

I also called Stanford University to inquire about available programs and admissions documents. I think I want to seriously apply for admission. If I am accepted it could be worthwhile.

Work has been busy. Margaret Lai and I walked to her travel agent. She decided to cancel her trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. We ran into Mark (another guy from my gym). He’s kind of a geek. I know he’s OBV (Obviously gay).

I received a rejection letter from TRIAD SYSTEMS in Sunnyvale, CA. My resume shall remain in their files for a suitable position at a later date though. I also received a phone call from a lady named Rosalyn who represented TEL-PLUS. I’ll have to give her a return phone call tomorrow. I am hesitant to call her because I confirmed that Pac Bell will pay one-hundred percent of my college tuition and books if I decide to go back to school for continued education.

I planned on taping a movie starring Leslie Warren and Chet Atkins for mom but I got a surprise phone call from KAISER HOSPITAL. I had already decided against going to the gym tonight. As it turned out—Margaret Lai was in a car accident!

I went to KAISER HOSPITAL. She was okay but it was a four-car big rig accident. She was pretty shaken up though. I drove her and Lance home to El Sobrante, CA.

I was home by 10:15PM. I watched a bit of TV. I lounged around and suddenly felt very horny.

I saw a cute blond walk in front of me…as I am writing this on Thursday morning—Oh well.

"Be careful, carnal desire is cause for our undoing."
-Kilometer Zero,
2001 Madrid, SPAIN film

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She's Available

"I had only met her once before, but she took it into her head to lionise me."
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 29, 1986
Tuesday

I did my duty and arrived at 7AM.

I telephoned United Parcel Service about the interview process.

I am now considering a return to school. There’s UC Berkeley and/or Stanford. A Masters Degree wouldn’t hurt. There are so many ideas running through my mind these days.

I enjoyed an ‘after work’ happy hour drink with Mark Landreth and Kathy Ortega (a gal from the gym). This was a spontaneous event. I ended up getting home at 11:15PM.

We started speaking of Anne Alberti, the aerobics instructor at our gym.
Kathy said, “You know…she’s available. She broke up with Jeff.”
I wondered if Anne was really my type. I wondered if Kathy was sent to drop this information to me ‘by Anne’. I didn’t like knowing that Anne was 'with' Jeff. Jeff is the other aerobics instructor who wears these tight pants and you can see every bulge imaginable. How embarrassing.

I was pulled over last night on the way to the gym by a San Leandro cop. Luckily for me, he didn’t give me a ticket. It seems that I cut in front of a red Volkswagen instead of stopping to yield first. The officer was nice for a change.
The police officer asked, “So, where did you get that globe?”
I answered, “It was a gift from a friend.”
He said, “I should get one for my kids.”

"True love doesn't grow with a number of lovers. It wastes away."
-CASANOVA,
2005 motion-picture

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The Flirting Game

"ART is like LOVE, it's always hungry."
-Remember Me, My Love
2003 Italian Film

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 28, 1986
Monday

The word is spreading like wildfire that we will likely be going ON STRIKE. This will mean a lack of funds for me. Ouch. I was thinking of looking into employment elsewhere (part-time at the very least). There’s always United Parcel Service or the trying out of that new Employment Temporary/Permanent Service on Harbor Bay Parkway in Alameda.

It was busy at work today. Margaret’s having second thoughts about transferring to the TAS group. Could she be fearful of the unknown?

I went bicycling after work. There were three young gals who swooped on me near South Shore Beach. Their names were Monica, Glenda and Julie. All three of them were from San Leandro. I played the flirting game and then I went to the gym.

Patty and Anne were both working out when I arrived.

Mark did the aerobics class.

David Trapp spotted me on the free weights and we exchanged a few words. He’s really nice.

I keep having these ideal thoughts about working a late night shift at United Parcel Service. There are dollar signs in my eyes. I plan to arrive at work at 7AM for the rest of this week. I could use the overtime if we do happen to go ON STRIKE.  I have to realize that I have a trip to New York planned next month, too.  Ouch.

"True happiness requires some level of self-awareness."
-DOLLHOUSE, Season I
Episode 5: True Believer

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An Uncomfortable Time

“And so it hurts a bit, doesn’t it? But the hurt isn’t because you actually have had your heart broken. It’s more because you feel that you engaged in a lie. And now you’ve had your sense of trust staggered.”
-John Katzenbach
THE ANALYST

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 27, 1986
Sunday

I telephoned Mark Landreth when I got home at the wee hours of the night.

“Hello.”
“Hey Mark, I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.”
"Oh, you caught me at...uh...an uncomfortable time."
He was pretending that some girl was there with him and then he confessed and told me the truth. He was alone, watching some movie called “LIFEGUARD”.
I said, “The only ones here are me and Rodney.”
I had previously told him about Rachelle naming my ‘you-know-what’ Rodney, so he knew what I meant.
Mark laughed.
We both went to bed.

In the early hours (7:45AM) I received a phone call from Julie Waller, the cute Vietnamese girl that always had a crush on me in high-school. She could tell I was asleep.
“Oh, I’ll call you back.”

Bruce Goree called in the mid afternoon. He’s the one I met ‘way back when’ during Traffic School. I was napping. I had just returned from a visit to mom’s house (breakfast and playing with my niece, Ashley).
Bruce asked, “What are you up to the rest of this week?”
“The usual…work and more work. I think I’m going to take a nap now though.”
I tried to not be rude. I think he got the message that I didn’t want to schedule a meeting.

I washed clothes. I showered and cleaned house. I washed my car. The only thing I failed to clean was my bike.

I went to visit mom and dad’s house just as Tony and Helen were leaving. I love Lauren Michael’s smile. She is so CUTE. I ate dinner at mom’s house and ended up staying there until 9:30PM.
I reviewed by stock holding positions and contemplated becoming a millionaire by saving $100,000 in ten different banking institutions. It’s a new goal: $$$

I went home and Johnny Schaefer called me from Los Angeles.
“I might be going on strike on August 9th, so I may drive down there to visit.”
Johnny said, “Great. You should see the movie ALIENS. It’s really good. It’s so intense.”
“I don’t think I’m in the mood for an alien flick. I like more serious, comical or happy movies.”
“Well, I saw RUTHLESS PEOPLE and that made me laugh because that’s really happy.”
I laughed, “Well, the title doesn’t sound too happy.
He laughed.

I had a dream about stock investments. I thought of buying SONY, SAFEWAY and UNITED AIRLINES stock. I’m yearning for more money, aren’t I?  One day my day will come.

“I love solitude.  It doesn’t scare me.”
-Walk On Water, 2004 French Film

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Letting the Air Out

“It turns out all I needed was an attitude change.”
-GLEE, Season I
Episode 17 ‘Bad Reputation’

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 26, 1986
Saturday

Since I woke up so early I decided to go to work and put in some extra hours. I worked from 8AM until noon and then went home to nap for a bit. It was easy money.

I drove up to Antioch at around 2:30PM. I arrived by 3PM or so. It was an easy drive. I headed for Bobby McGee’s and Patty and Ann Alberti were the first to arrive. I like Anne. She’s an aerobics teacher. I learned that she’s also a nurse (her day job). She’s Italian and pretty. Time---as usual---will tell where she and I are concerned. She graduated from high-school in 1975, so she’s at least twenty-seven (going on 28 or 29). Mark Landreth showed up eventually. We had fun. I gave them each a Pacific Bell balloon.

We all had a good time blowing the balloons and letting the air out. The odd sound made other people think that someone had farted. It made us all laugh. I drank down three CORONA beers. Anne had to work the next day. Patty left with Anne at around 12:30AM. Mark and I stayed around. A couple of girls asked us to dance. By 2AM we left the place, too. I saw a couple of QBL guys there (interesting). It was fun.

“Do you know who’s real?”
-DOLLHOUSE, Season II
Episode I, VOWS

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Her Mind Was Drifting

“My father often said that when I played chess, my strategy was indifferent but my tactics were good.”
-Edward Rutherford
LONDON, the novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 25, 1986
Friday

I arrived at work at 7AM once again. More overtime means more cash.

I blurted the fact that I was working at the Pac Bell booth at the Contra Costa County Fair while Helen, Margaret and I were out in Chinatown for lunch. Margaret was disturbed by this news.
“No one mentioned this to me,” Margaret said with a tight lip.
Oh well…

I drove to Sue Croce’s house in Fremont. I actually called Mark before I left, telling him to meet us at Black Angus later. He has an interview in the morning, so I doubt he’ll show up.

It’s a good thing he didn’t show up because Sue and I never did go to Black Angus.

We had a late night munchies at LYON’s and discussed the disappointing movie called “HAUNTED HONEYMOON”. The opening scenes were pretty good but it wasn’t so great overall. I took Sue home. She gave me some folders that were especially made for my stocks that I was planning to invest with. That was sweet of her.

Sue made me feel kind of distant. There was something going on in the back of her mind. I am not so sure what. She didn’t really confide in me about what might be troubling her. I guess I won’t know for a while at least. Maybe it’s because of the way I was dressed (better than her). Or maybe it’s because I played Johnny Schaefer’s song called ALWAYS. I don’t know where her mind was drifting at times. Cest la vie. I went straight to bed by midnight. Yawn.

“Even in our darkest hour we must remember to never despair.”
-The Greatest Game Ever Played
2005 motion-picture

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I Have The Whole World

“I never seek to defeat the man I am fighting,” he explained. “I seek to defeat his confidence. A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory. Two men are equals—only when they both have equal confidence.”
-Arthur Golden
“Memoirs of a Geisha”

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 24, 1986
Thursday

Steph had a talk with Dale Orlando, Margaret Lai and I about our working overtime. Apparently, Betsy (another middle manager) was spying and felt that we weren’t working during our reported overtime hours, so she reported this to Steph’s attention. Oh well, we all defended and vouched for one another. This is not going to stop me from working overtime.

Mom was so sweet. She went out to buy a baby gift for me on behalf of my coworker, Sue Fischer.

Johnny Schaefer was cool to send me a tape with such cool songs (especially ‘Forever Change’ and ‘Thief of Hearts’). He is very infatuated with me. He is also a very sensitive fellow. I think he’s a bit more sensitive than I am these days. I can relate to how he is feeling. I like him. And I do always want to remain a friend…regardless.

I ended up eating salad and other goodies for Leland’s pot luck luncheon. I didn’t even leave the building today except to deposit my paycheck (which was a slim $635). It would have been $635 + $135 = $770 if I didn’t have the $135 deducted for SAVINGS.

I love to look at the inflatable globe in my car. That was cool of Ron to replace the one that flew out of the window. It reminds me that I have the whole world ‘to make decisions upon’.

I received a letter from El Camino Hospital about my application for the Telecommunications Director position. They may be contacting me within a few weeks for an interview. We’ll see.

I went to the gym. Stuart Western came in and I think he is QBL (Questionable on the gay side). I can’t be sure, of course. He’s a nice guy. I like him. I admire his bicep muscles.

Terry (if that’s her name) at the gym sure talks a lot.

Mark said, “I’ll go to the County Fair with you in Antioch and then after that we can go to Bobby McGee’s on Saturday.”
“Great, that’ll be fun,” I answered.

My mom was very moody today because Dad was all uptight about getting his old job title back.  His current machinist job at Del Monte Corporation is too physically stressful on his elbows and arms.

I received a rejection slip about the Staff Clerk job in San Francisco.  The job was cancelled by the originator.  Oh well…maybe I’ll have a chance with the other two I submitted in Los Angeles.  If it happens it was ‘meant to be’.

I wore my black leather jacket this Friday morning.  It reminds me of the one worn by the star of the film THIEF OF HEARTS (Steven Bauer).  That song really got to me from that THIEF OF HEARTS film after Johnny Schaefer had taped it for me. I never really concentrated on the lyrics before.   And I never realized that Melissa Manchester sang the title theme song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXd1wJmW2Jo

I decided to send Johnny my original pictures that he had liked.  I also wrote to Paloma.  I sent her a special card and a photo of me in my undershorts by the Cliffside views of San Francisco.

Debra Neal called me the day before yesterday.  She is going to arrange a lunch date with me and Patrick Brent, the big wheel of LAURA TODD and Co.  The only other response I’ve received is from that El Camino Hospital.  We shall see.

Steph made a comment today that I won’t forget: “You have a lot going for you, Michael.”
I replied, “Yeah, for the most part…”

“Those pages you wrote,” Tom said, “they ought to be destroyed, you know…”
“If anyone found them, you couldn’t say it’s a short story, with all those names in it.”
-Patricia Highsmith
“The Boy Who Followed Ripley”

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We Should Go...

“I don’t do it like everyone else…remember?”
-TAP, 1989 motion-picture

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 23, 1986
Wednesday

Janette (one of the gals at my gym) is going to San Diego tomorrow to look for an apartment since she is planning to go to school down there.
“Be sure you give me your telephone number once you get settled in there,” I stated flirtatiously.
As I was telling her this I noticed a faint “hickie” on her neck. Alas, she’s only eighteen and that’s life at that age.
My work day was okay. I left the office at 1PM for a dentist appointment. All was good at the dentist’s office. I slept at mom’s house thereafter. Then I went to the gym, of course.

Terry, Stuart, Dave, Mark I, and Mark II were all there as well as a few OBV’s (Obviously gay ones) and QBL’s (Questionably gay ones). I have fun at my gym. I was on my Life Cycle for twenty-four minutes despite my agonizing toes.

I went to SAFEWAY and bought goodies for Leland’s pot luck lunch at the office.

I telephoned Mark Landreth.
I said, “You know, Mark, that girl at the gym and Anne, the aerobics instructor, may go to Bobby McGee’s on Saturday night. We should go and meet them there!”
“You think so?” He asked.
“Yeah, why not…I also have a date this Friday night with Sue,” I revealed.
“Oh,” Mark said with a sly little laugh.
I wasn’t sure if he was approving or disapproving.

“You have to take initiative in life.”
-“The 400 Blows”, 1959 French film

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Sweet Rice

“Memories are a way of keeping the past alive.”
-KYLE-XY, The Tell-Tale Heart
Episode 8

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 22, 1986
Tuesday

I am working some good overtime hours. It may pay off in the long run.

I received a catalog from BACHRACH with some neat suede pants. The price tag was $150.00. I am tempted to buy them (believe me).

I made it to the gym tonight. I saw Mark walk in. He had come from work and he was wearing his tie and white shirt and all. I had never seen him all dressed like that. He looked great. His interview with Sierra Design was today.
Mark said, “I’m debating on whether or not I want to work with them.”
Mark and I were both speaking with this one gal who does the aerobics class with us. We were telling her about the San Francisco Marathon and how all of our toes were in agony.
She laughed.

There is still no word on Los Angeles and the STAFF positions at Pac Bell Directory. It looks like I must be patient—yet again.

Mom made me some of her sweet rice with the whipped egg whites and sprinkles of cinnamon on top. She knows that’s my “favorite”.

I filled out a few lottery entries for the Second Chance Drawing. One never knows.

I telephoned Sue Croce to firm up our date this Friday night. We are going to see “Haunted Honeymoon”, starring Gene Wilder and Gilda Radner.
Video: Scene from "Haunted Honeymoon"

“It may be over between us…but it’s not finished.”
-Women in Love,
1969 motion-picture

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A 'No Show'

“Sharing the danger made it feel all right.”
-1938, A Brief Encounter
A Noel Coward play seen in Brooklyn, NY
on Dec. 2, 2009

Twenty five years ago today:

July 21, 1986
Monday

It was back to work. It was hard for me to walk. It was hard to sit and just plain ‘get up’ from my seat. I managed though.

Margaret returned to work but she’s off to Louisiana to take Lance to see his paternal grandmother who is very ill. Al Martinez, Margaret Lai and I all joined together for lunch at B and M Chinese at 62 Second Street.

I didn’t even bother going to the gym on this evening. I figured I’d given my body enough of a shock from yesterday’s SF Marathon. I did telephone Mark to let him know I’d be a ‘no show’.
“Okay, I’ll bring your keys on Tuesday,” Mark said.
I had forgotten that he had my keys.

I stayed home on Monday night and watched a program about young runaways. I felt my own life was pretty good after watching that true-life news story. I also watched a flick called “SENDER”. It was about a man who could make people read his mind and think and feel what he was thinking or feeling. Sometimes he was able to do this without wanting to do it. I fell asleep watching it though. I never saw the very end of it.

Johnny Schaefer called me. He wanted to let me know that he’d received my message. I guess he’s coming over to visit one weekend next month. We shall see.

“Chemistry is about what you feel in your heart.”
-KYLE=XY,
Chemistry 101, Episode 7

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Marathon Adventure

“We are a mere dot in the ocean…”
-Shyam Selvadurai
“Cinnamon Gardens”, a novel

Twenty five years ago today:

July 20, 1986
Sunday

Mark Landreth and his older brother (a surprising FAT one—at that) made it to my house in the early morning hours. We were off to San Francisco for the MARATHON adventure in Mark’s car. We had a late start but it didn’t stop us. We did it! However, I was only able to do “seventeen miles” because I stupidly wore my Dad’s 8 ½ size tennis shoe. I was dying. I had to stop. I had run in the shoes before but not for such a long-distance. I needed more toe room. The blisters were murder.

I arranged for Tony and Helen to pick me up because I never found Mark and his brother again. Mark did call me later though.

Ron Leoni called to check-up on me, too.
Ron said, “Yeah, I had to call my Dad to wire me more money.”

From this statement I got the impression that he doesn’t seem to be doing too well for himself. Ron went on and on about how his (Pharmacist) dad had been lecturing him.

I watched ALFRED HITCHCOCK Presents with mom and dad on this night. I soaked my feet while watching the show. I lounged, bathed and recovered from the MARATHON adventure for most of the day. Sadly, the sores and blisters on my feet were not feeling so good.

“A wise son gives joy not only to his father but also to the entire world.”
-The Tirukkural, v.68

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Windsurfing

This is my world, it seemed to say, and you can’t take my domain away from me.
-Mavis Cheek
“Mrs. Fytton’s Country Life”

Twenty five years ago today:

July 19, 1986
Saturday

I woke up and went to mom’s house. I gave her the GUCCI purse. She LOVED it. She made me her homemade spaghetti bolognese dish for lunch. After the meal I went home to my place and ‘lounged’.

Mark Landreth called to see what I was doing.
“I’m going to Alameda to windsurf,” Mark announced.
“Oh great…I’ll meet you there on my bike,”  I said excitedly.
I sat on the beach with my bike turned upside down to avoid sand in my spokes.  I watched Mark get his gear together.  What a chore to prepare for windsurfing.  His Brazilian un-touchables (fellow wind surfers) were there.  All in all, it was nice to be out to observe the windsurf happenings.

PHOTO: Brazilian male model, Julio Capeletti

Cindy drove by while I was there on the beach. It wasn’t too much longer until Mark and I parted ways for the day.  I went o my mom’s house again and started to watch that movie called WHITE KNIGHTS (with mom and Sherri).  It wasn’t too exciting because I fell asleep watching it.

Imagination is the capacity to rearrange available data or to extrapolate from them.
-Jules Verne
“Paris in the Twentieth Century”,
the Lost Novel

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Fun To Be With

"You can't mope around all day and expect your whole life to be a Hallmark Card!"
-Tales of the City,
1994 TV series

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 18, 1986
Friday

We bid Winnie Wong farewell at a place called THE FRONT PAGE. A festive group from my office gathered there for drinks. It was fun.

After the farewell festivities I telephoned Mark and went to his house. He had a note on his door for me using his TEXAS INSTRUMENTS stationary. He wrote: Mike, I went to the bank.

I waited in my car for him to return. We ended up going to see a movie called BACK TO SCHOOL, a comical movie starring Rodney Dangerfield. It won't win any awards but it was fun for a few laughs.

After the movie we dropped by BLACK ANGUS in San Lorenzo. It was sort of dead there, so we moved on to THE SNEAKY TIKI.  It was an okay night. Mark is fun to be with.

"You can't always get what you want."
-GLEE, TV series
Episode 13, "Sectionals"

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Ready For A Change

"I wish you could know everything about my life without my telling you."
-Daniel Deronda,
2002 mini-series

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 17, 1986
Thursday

I cannot believe I am here in San Francisco at 6:30AM. OH well, I guess I am excited. I couldn’t sleep very well last night. My mind was just racing and thinking of all sorts of things. I was picturing myself as a Telecommunications Director of El Camino Hospital, making more bucks than I am doing now.  Time will tell.  There are really so many things I would like to do.  Why limit myself to Pac Bell for the rest of my life?  I’ve been there for four years—not to mention the three and a half years with Pacific Telephone that I can eventually bridge to make seven and a half years eventually.  I am RFAC (Ready For A Change).

The San Francisco Marathon is twenty-six miles.  It is happening this Sunday and it looks like Mark and I are going to plunge-in and go for it.  Sounds fun!

I was at work at 7AM and was so wired after having a medium cup of coffee.  I was so hyper and feeling good.  I was raring to go.  I won’t make a habit of getting up so early again.  It’s fun for a change though.  I mailed out those letters for those other jobs today.

I returned a phone call to Ron Leoni.  He had called to verify our trip to New York.
I said, “That’s right…only twenty more days!”

My GUCCI watchband broke.  That’s okay.  I plan to take it in for repair tomorrow.  At the same time I will look for a GUCCI purse for mom’s birthday.  I think she would like something like that.

I had a good day at work.  All of my customers were cool and pleasant.

I want to make time to read some writing excerpts in the new issue of ESQUIRE Magazine.

Tomorrow is Friday night and it will be time to bid Winnie Wong farewell.  She is leaving our office. I thought I’d go and maybe have one fuzzy-navel cocktail and/or a Corona beer with lime in celebration of her new beginning.

Dale Orlando is thinking of buying a new car.  I guess he’s raking in the dough.  We both signed up as interested to work overtime at the Contra Costa County Fair 'Pac Bell' booth.

By the end of 1986 it will be interesting to see where I am.  What position will I be holding?  If I am still exactly where I am now…well, “Hogwash!”

Dave Vigil went on and on about his new lover in San Jose.  He’s not running the San Francisco Marathon.
“I’m going to take a break and slow down and go to Clearlake.  My parents own a cabin there—you know.”
“Sounds good,” I said politely.

I did make my visit to the gym tonight.  Mark Landreth went for the aerobics class while I focused-in on the Nautilus weight training.

Steve came in to renew his gym membership. It was only then that I realized he spells his name Stephen Green.
Steve suggested happily, “We should go to dinner next week.”
“That sounds like a good idea.”
“You know—I was just talking about you to an old friend of mine named Ron.”
I wondered if it was the Ron I had met once from Willits, CA.  I didn’t bother to ask.


I ordered a medium pizza and ate two slices.  I have to prepare myself for the Sunday Marathon and eat a lot of carbohydrate-filled foods like bananas, fruits, veggies, breads, pasta and pizza.


I watched the 20/20 News program tonight.  The true stories included an ex-wife who revealed her husband was a spy for Russia; Prince Edward married a redhead (a commoner who lived on a three million dollar estate); a man was released from prison after several years and wrongly accused of a murder that he didn’t commit.


I called Sue Croce.
“Guess what.”
“What?”
“I’m running the Marathon on Sunday.”
She shrugged.  I found her to be not-so-very supportive.  What a wench.  I’ll show her!

"I suppose I have had "homosexual" feelings since I was six or seven years old, but until that time I was afraid to "admit" it to anyone, especially myself."
-Warren J Blumenfeld, Washington D.C.
"Telling Tales Out of School"
edited by Kevin Jennings

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Anxieties

"If you want an omelet you've got to break a few eggs."
-Brad Pitt
"Fight Club", 1999 motion-picture

Twenty five years ago today:

July 16, 1986
Wednesday

My day was semi-productive. It has been very busy in the office lately. I moseyed along to McDonalds for lunch. My day continued rather quickly. After a short nap at home I made my usual visit to the gym.

Mark Landreth showed up at the gym and I decided to do the aerobics class with him. I did pretty well. I like the working up of a good sweat. It makes you feel like you really did something good to release all of the anxieties.

After the gym workout I kept my ‘avenues’ open. I wrote cover letters and resumes to Triad Systems Corporation in Sunnyvale, CA. I sent one to some Western Regional Company’s Sales Manager, El Camino Hospital in Mountain View, Phillip Abrams of Out of Our Minds Advertising Agency, Industrial Indemnity, Tel Plus Communications, Pac Tel Info Systems, Pac Tel Publishing, Pac Tel Mobile, and of course to Peter Brent of Laura Todd Co. I also submitted bids for two staff clerk positions in Los Angeles (though those two positions don’t seem too lucrative).

Johnny Schaefer called me during my naptime.
“I can’t wait for my music coach to come back from the Moody Blues tour. My coach is confident that I can get set up in some night club here in L.A.,” said Johnny.
What could I say but, “That’s great, Johnny!”

Mark had mentioned some Marathon on Sunday. I wonder if he was serious about it. I ought to give him a call to find out.

I am so glad I have been doing a little something each night to give myself exposure to other firms in the outside world. I am feeling claustrophobic being at Pac Bell. Tonight I moved in on inquiries to M, ESQUIRE, GQ and the Ford Agency regarding my being on the cover of a major magazine. Ha-ha. That’s just for fun. I can dream…or at least vision it, can’t I? I don’t believe it would hurt to make an attempt.

Maybe mom can pick-up my photographs today.

In 1925, when F.O. Matthiessen, the noted Harvard literary historian and critic, was still a graduate student at Oxford, he wrote to his lover, the painter Russel Cheney, "We are complex--both of us--in that we are neither wholly man, woman, or child."
-George Chauncey
"Gay New York"

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More Connections

He had a fascination with all forms of learning and would seek out those who had it and do best to engage them in conversation. "Time spent with a man of learning is never wasted," he would say earnestly.
-Edward Rutherford
"London", the novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 15, 1986
Tuesday

It was another day, another bill and another headache. The headache will only get to one if one let’s it get to him or her.

I had Mr. Toupee sit around with me again all day. He’s a drag.

At lunchtime, Mary McTiernan and I took a walk out near Powell Street. We dropped in to Laura Todd Cookies. Debra Neil was not there. She and Peter Brent were at Burger King across the way. I finally met Peter Brent:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._T._Brent

The meeting with Mr. Brent got my mind circulating. I need external exposure to the outside world. I need to feel improved changes in my life. And so, each day I must do something about it. Today, I typed up a brief resume and a letter to this influential Peter Brent.

Tomorrow I will type another cover letter and work on a new project daily until something new turns up. It is time. I need to make moves now. I will do my best. Mary could tell I had ideas flourishing. Peter Brent is only one avenue of many.

I ought to make more connections out there. That is what I will do. I want to ride my bike more. I want to write my book more seriously. I must format an outline at least.

I went to the gym and saw Steve Green on the Life Cycle. I mounted the bike next to him.
Steve said, “George went to L.A. again.”
I nodded as I’m sure Steve thought I was interested.
Steve continued, “George met someone in LA the previous week and he paid for George’s visit back down there.”
“Figures,” I said.
Steve and I didn’t talk a whole lot after that.

Mark was at the gym. I took the 8:30PM aerobics class with him and his brother, Phil, after they persuaded me to join up.


My Dad is on vacation this week. I didn’t know.


Bruce Goured called me. Yuck! I wish he’d leave me alone. He’s a geek. I will continue to put him off. Henceforth, I will not make time for him.


Money is short. Time is short. I could use more money. I could use more time. I have to work with the 24-hours a day that we all have.


I spoke to Sue Croce over the telephone tonight.
I said, “You know, Sue, you are so SSB.”
“What does that mean?”
“Oh, you know---it’s one of my acronyms that I made up. I can’t tell you.”
She was dying to know what the acronym meant (SSB: Some Smooth Body).
We talked last night and on July 25th we decided that we may go out to see “HONEYMOON THRILLER”, starring Gilda Radner. Sue is really sweet. I ought to know her better. I am beginning to know her. She is nice. Our nightly phone talks are becoming more frequent.

...he had stood by his convictions, a man of courage and honesty. A sliver of light opened in her, as if someone had separated the louvers of a blind.
-Shyam Selvadurai
"Cinnamon Gardens", a novel

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"The Guy"

Like most revealed secrets, the novelty of it had worn off over the years.
-Shyam Selvadurai
"Cinnamon Gardens", a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

Inserted in my July 14, 1986 journal entry was a two-page story that I wrote in 1986 as a potential write-up that I thought of giving to Mark Landreth. It’s called “The Guy”. I never did give it to Mark. This is what was written:
-------------------------------------------------------

“The Guy”

Once upon a time there was a nineteen year old guy who was overwhelmed with excitement over meeting a girl named Stephanie Mason at Santa Clara’s GREAT AMERICA Amusement Park. He thought he was IN LOVE. With the exception of a few dates here and there throughout high-school (which didn’t amount to much) he was smitten over Stephanie.

It was 1978 and this nineteen year old guy was working graveyard and evening shifts for a major company. One summer night he finished his shift at midnight and went to his car in an isolated parking lot. It was dark and not a very good area in Downtown Oakland. He was randomly met by a muscle-bound man, wearing tight white pants. The guy was startled at first but then realized the man was friendly. The muscle-bound man made a proposition that excited ‘the guy’. It all happened so fast but the guy went to the muscle-bound man’s apartment and had a quick, brief homosexual affair.

The guy was crushed to say the least because there wasn’t much he could do about the incident. It all happened so quickly. He just went with his feelings and felt ever so guilty afterward. He felt ashamed and could tell no one for fear of embarrassment and accusations of being gay. He was also surprised that the muscle-bound man had given the guy a business card. The muscle-bound guy worked at a mortuary (of all places).
The guy silently cried as he drove home asking himself, “How could I do that?”
The guy hoped to forget it all. In time, the guy would eventually face what happened and go on with his life. The guy knew there was a telephone number on the business card but he chose to throw it away in a trash can. He wanted to erase the incident from his mind.

The guy’s relationship with his newfound girlfriend (Stephanie) went well for a while. Then the guy had to move further away to attend school elsewhere. While in this college town he dated some real ‘lookers’. At the age of twenty, the guy took a trip to Hawaii with a high-school girlfriend named Elisa. Elisa and the guy had a platonic friendship.

An incident occurred that would change his hatred for that episode that happened with the muscle-bound guy. While separated one night in Hawaii from Elisa, the twenty-year old guy met a blond-haired twenty-three year old lifeguard from Southern California. The guy was seated outside on a tropical night eating a late night McDonald’s snack. The lifeguard was standing at a nearby corner, giving the guy an enticing ‘look’. The guy was intrigued and followed the lifeguard to the direction of Waikiki Beach. There were a group of trees and the lifeguard seemed to be luring the guy. It worked. Once nestled within the trees the guy spoke to the lifeguard about the beautiful night. The guy began to visibly shake with nerves. At the same time the guy couldn’t help but feel his erection. The lifeguard proceeded to share his feelings about all of the bathing beauties on the island. The guy felt reassured because he was talking about the beautiful girls that were so visible on the beach.
“Do you surf?” asked the Lifeguard.
The guy smiled, feeling thrilled that he would ask such a question, “No, what makes you ask that?”
“You just look like a native and you look like a surfer.”

The guy was amazed when the lifeguard suggested a walk along the shoreline on this romantic night. The guy went along with the invitation and learned that the lifeguard was attending the University of Hawaii. It was a very late hour (like 2AM) and you guessed it…the lifeguard made a sexual advance. They went on top of the Lifeguard viewpoint. They climbed the ladder and looked out at the mysterious dark ocean view. No one was around, making it easy to be free to do whatever they wanted to do. Suddenly there were several passion-filled kisses exchanged. The guy liked the way the short blond stubbles of his beard felt on his clean shaven face. The lifeguard (who actually wasn’t a lifeguard but looked like one) went ‘down’ on the guy. It all happened so fast. The lifeguard/student was named Craig.
“Well, I better get going,” said Craig as he climbed down from the Lifeguard viewpoint.
The night was over. That was it, a brief sexual stint of excitement on a hot summer night.

When the guy returned to college he met a woman three years older than himself named Lynne Major. The guy was twenty-one years old now and Lynne was twenty-four. She was separated from her husband. The guy had an affair with her and felt more “real” love. Eventually he was “hurt” from the involvement with this married woman because he believed ‘in his mind’ that she was unfaithful. The affair ended and another serious relationship started with another new beauty.

The new beauty was also in a predicament. Her name was Michelle VonThaden and she loved another man who was divorced and had a child. The guy didn’t press Michelle about further involvement and remained focused on his studies.

The guy almost accepted a job with the CIA but it didn’t work out. The guy was short on money and not eating right. Over the Thanksgiving Holidays he was hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. Many thought he was taking drugs; however, the guy never touched the stuff. He was truly under stress and pressure in coping with relationships, sexual preferences, studies, and job opportunities. He felt paranoid and started to believe that the married woman, Lynne, was cheating on him with her ex-husband.

When the guy was released from the hospital he finished school. He started work again. He was happy that the breakdown episode happened as it put him back on track. He found balance and a joy for living. He went out on dates ‘now and again’ but nothing really serious came of it.

The guy could sense it when a man (or woman) would show attraction towards him. He could easily feel when a man or woman was coming on to him. The guy was ‘pretty sure’ anyhow. Sometimes he found certain people to be “QBL” (Questionable). They were questionable because he wasn’t sure whether they were or weren’t interested in him. Several men have come on to the guy but he would shy away (or simply act naïve about it). The guy felt more comfortable with being heterosexual during his free time to date or socialize. He would later meet and befriend other homosexuals and learn more about their lifestyles.

It is 1986 now and the guy has had two key relationships with two women (not at the same time, of course) in the last two years. Every so often the guy will run into a fellow that he finds physically attractive. On that rare occasion he will keep it to himself. That will be that. Before these two relationships he had experienced a couple of man-to-man relationships. One relationship was with a doctor (Howard Edelstein) and one was with a student (George Jones/Christopher Cordellos).

The guy seems to believe he is bisexual; however, he leans more towards the standard that society expects of him. He is happy that he rarely feels attraction for another man because he tends to stay focused on the woman that holds his attraction.

One of the two women he had last had a key relationship with introduced him to bodybuilding and the exhilarating feeling of frequent exercise. Her name was Paloma. She has since moved out of the country. The guy continues to date a lady ‘here and there’.

There is one good friend that the guy has come to know while bodybuilding. He is attracted to him but doesn’t dare make an attempt to mention this fact for fear of ruining their friendship. The guy likes to spend time with this male friend because he likes his sense of sportsmanship, ambition, humor and well-being. The guy hopes to have this man as a friend for a very long time. The problem is that the guy is leery as to whether or not he should tell the friend about his attraction. I mean, if the guy mentions it---it may or may not change a thing---but the worst thing would be the end of the friendship. Then again, the friend would know the guy better. So…should the guy tell his friend? Yes or no?

The friend is you.

The guy is me.
--------------------------------------------------------

July 14, 1986
Monday

It was one of those drab Monday mornings where one dreads the idea of going to work. I did it though. To my dismay, I had some geeky new fellow named Jim sit with me for most of today. His training doesn’t start until next week, so I am going through the ropes of working in the Business Office.

At lunch, Al Martinez and I ate at B and M Chinese.
“You know that girl Shari that I met at your party?”
“Yeah, did you talk to her?”
“More than that…we got it on,” Al revealed.
“You did?”
“Yeah, but a week and a half later…drip, drip, drip.”
I didn’t understand what he meant. I gave him a puzzled look.  Then he went on to explain that he had a urinal inflectional communicable disease from her.
I raised my eyebrows and said, “You know, I’m not surprised.”

I shared my first and last break with this new fellow (Jim) but I certainly don’t want to make it a habit.

Ron Leoni finally called me. It’s been a while.
“I told my mom we were coming to Connecticut to visit. She’s looking forward to it.”
“Me too, it’s only twenty-two business days from today,” I said, making it clear that I’m counting the days.
I recalled that I had told Mark in passing (while in Santa Cruz) that I may go to New York in August. I’ll have to mention to Mark to keep the first week of November open. I will have more time off. I’d like to spend it with Mark somewhere fun.

I went cycling from 6PM to 7PM. Then I went to the gym. Stuart Western was there. We talked a little.

I shared the news (about Shari) to Mark about Al’s urinal infection. I promised Al I wouldn’t tell anyone but Mark isn’t about to spread the news anywhere.

Mark did the aerobics class but I chose not to.
Mark said, “You know, I called you later--on Sunday after the bike ride--to let you know I was going back to Alameda to windsurf.”
“Oh, I was probably at my mom’s house and I missed your call.”


I went to Dad’s house after tonight’s workout for some watermelon. He invited me over. I couldn’t take his rambling on about retiring in four years. He started to talk about food shortages, bills, etc. When I left I went to Sherri’s house as she had a videotaped kid’s movie for me to record for Ashley. I was so upset because I parked 18-inches away from their curb and got a parking ticket in front of her house!


When I went home I had a recorded message from Sue Croce. I called her back and we talked about her first day on the new job. I shared some of my self-invented acronyms.
She laughed.
I told her how invigorating the Tour de San Francisco bike ride turned out to be. I also mentioned the new geek (Jim) at my office.
“I think that new guy wears a toupee.”
Sue really laughed at a lot of what I had to say.
I continued with the story about Al’s urinal infection and my parking ticket that I’d just received for parking 18-inches away from the curb.


The gal that Mark and I had seen at the club the other night came over to us at the gym tonight.
She asked, “Do you two go out a lot?”
Mark and I simultaneously answered, “Ahh…every once in a while.”
She said, “Well, my girlfriend thought you were cute. And I watched the girls walk by you at the club and a lot of them kept looking at you two.”
I exclaimed, “Really…I didn’t even notice!” Ha-ha.


Anyway, life goes one. Today I checked with Pac Bell Directory again. I checked on my parking ticket. I checked on a new telephone number for Sue Croce’s friend, Tracy.


Nici Maurino tells me she may be visiting my Business Office tomorrow. We shall see.

A man lives by his history and what he was is what shapes what he shall become.
"What will you do with your day?"
"What I do with every day. Live throught it, experience what it brings, suffer its pains, or those which twinge my joints when the weather's damp or cold, and rejoice at its little pleasures."
Little does he know that nothing disturbs me now. What is past is past. You cannot unwind the wool of destiny.
-Martin Booth
"The Industry Of Souls", a novel

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Tour de San Francisco

“No matter where you run you just end up running into yourself!”
-Breakfast at Tiffany’s,
1961 motion-picture

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 13, 1986
Sunday


Mark arrived at my house by 6:45. Our destination was San Francisco ‘in his car’ with our respective bikes riding along with us. We were all hyped-up for the Tour de San Francisco adventure.


It was fun. It was breezy. It began at 7:30AM and ended around 9:30AM (for me). I was surprised Mark passed me up but it was only at the beginning of the race. I passed him up later. It’s never good to use up your stamina in the beginning. It was a great ride. We will do it again next year.


I was pissed-off because I wasn’t in the Tour de San Francisco Prize Drawing. I had never received my ballot to register. I didn’t even get a T-shirt to commemorate the day.


There were quite a few QBL’s there at the finish line. It was obvious to me. I’m not sure if Mark took notice at all. By noon I was home. Mark drove home to San Lorenzo. The thirty mile ride burnt me out. I took a nap as I taped WHITE NIGHTS (some movie with ballet dancer, Mikael Barishnikov).

When I woke up I went to mom and dad’s house for a short while. I took another nap.


Greg Manchevitz, Mike Miller and Birda called me to find out how the Tour De San Francisco turned out.
I told them all, “Oh, you missed out!”


Johnny Schaefer called me. I explained the fun of the bike adventure.


Sue Croce called me. Tomorrow is her big day on her new job.


It was a lazy Sunday night and I watched “KILLER IN THE MIRROR”, a movie starring Ann Jillian. It was a suspenseful one. There's a rich woman who drowns. Then an antiques dealer assumes the identity and guilt of her scheming twin sister. It was time to go to bed…a JO session and sleep.
PHOTO: Actress Ann Jillian

“Have you ever heard the argument that if you confront the issue at the moment you might end up embarrassing the victim more than the perpetrator?”
-Christopher Rice
“A Density of Souls”

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Do You Want To Dance ?

Even now that he is gone I have him still, in the richness of my memories.
But now I know that our world is not more permanent than a wave rising on the ocean.
Whatever our struggles and triumphs, however, we may suffer them; all too soon they bleed into a wash, just like a watery ink on paper.
-Arthur Golden
“Memoirs of a Geisha”

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 12, 1986
Saturday

I telephoned my cousin Mandy in the early morning. She’s been having car trouble, so she may not go to Santa Cruz. I thought it would be nice for her to meet Mark. Oh well, it was her loss. Mark and I went to Santa Cruz anyway. He liked my globe.

We arrived in Santa Cruz on this prime summer day. We decided to lie out on the shoreline. My lounge chair wasn’t being too good to me. I was lying out in my black and white SPEEDO bathing suit.

Mark and I took a walk and some sleaze named Sharon (twenty-seven years old) tried to swoop on us. We both agreed that she was NMT (Not My Type or Not OUR Type—in this case).
We left the beach and ate dinner at THE GOOD EARTH in Los Gatos. It was a fairly good meal. We drove on to San Lorenzo to Mark’s house. We watched a little bit of Michael Douglas’ movie called RUNNING.

Then we decided to go out to Fat Fanny’s to check out the scene there. We saw a gal that we both liked. She was tan with long brunette hair.
She came up to me and said, “Do you want to dance?”
I was thrilled beyond words. While dancing I like to make small talk and get some sort of min-bio. I learned that her name is Nancy and that she lives in Lafayette. She was very nice. We danced for three songs and I kissed her on the cheek when the third song/dance concluded. I couldn’t resist.


Mark and I also saw ‘Janet and Dana’. They’re twins that Mark actually knew from his skating days. I met them at Barnaby’s when Mike Miller and I had gone out some time ago. What a small world.


Mark also met a gal named Chris.
Then a Latin looking gal (also named Chris) came up to me and asked me to dance. She was from Fremont.


We also bumped into this gal that goes to our gym. She has a nice body but her face isn’t too exciting.
Mark made me laugh when he said, “…but her face!”


I got home by 1:45AM. It was an eventful night.

“Better alone than badly accompanied.”
-Candace Bushnell
“Sex and the City”

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Running Out

Exploration of the ocean floor has begun, but the surface remains undisturbed.
-Ian McEwan
“Enduring Love”

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 11, 1986
Friday


Margaret Lai is taking her vacation next week.


Today I didn’t bother to go to the gym. I did not even go for a bike ride. I took a nap.


I accompanied mom and Grandma (mom’s mom) to LUNG KONG for a Chinese Food dinner. That was fun. It was filling though. I watched a movie with them, too. Actress Deborah Raffin starred as a woman who abandoned her husband and baby. Then she returned twelve years later. The movie was called “RUNNING OUT”. I thought it was quite good.

PHOTO: Actress Deborah Raffin

My boss, Stephanie, put me to the side today.
She specifically asked, “Michael, would you like to do the ASR Assessment?”
I finally said, “Not at this time, but perhaps later.”
I don’t want to go in to this ASR Training. I think I especially don’t want to do it now that I know Tony is going to be one of the new trainees as well. I don’t want to be in a competitive situation such as that with my own brother. That’s one other good reason why I want out of Pac Bell. I want to branch out to the other subsidiary: Pac Bell Directory.

When in doubt, drift off into a pleasing memory.
-Mavis Cheek
“Mrs. Fytton’s Country Life”

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Stuart Western

"I've been forbidden to drink, smoke, love--I have to have some kind of drug."
-Thomas Mann
The Will To Happiness, 1896

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 10, 1986
Thursday

Yesterday (and once again today) I ran into a new friend. It’s more than a coincidence to see a person twice over two days isn’t it?  His name is Stuart Western.  He lives near 164th Avenue (near Castro Valley).  He’s into construction.  No, he’s not the QBL Construction worker I saw recently.  Stuart goes to my gym.  He’s a nice guy.  He works out at the gym regularly and he’s in good shape.

PHOTO: March 7, 1987: Stuart Western, in my house and ready to go to San Francisco with me to Club DV8

Mark Landreth is into doing aerobics a lot lately.
His kid brother, Phil, said, “Hey Mike, you’re getting big.”
He meant it in a ‘big and muscular’ way but I am unsure whether or not he was kidding. With him it’s hard to tell. He smiles a lot and I don’t know if he’s joking or not.


It’s not-so-funny about that character that plays Tony Driscoll (actor Paul Keenan) on the TV series DYNASTY. He used to be on the daytime soap DAYS OF OUR LIVES and it seems he now has AIDS. I wonder. It’s a scary disease that has crept up on us in the 1980s.

PHOTO: Actor Paul Keenan

I went to mom’s house and ‘munched out’. I didn’t bother to go bicycling. I took a nap and then went to the gym.


I watched a little bit of “The Young and the Restless” with mom. Then I headed home.


My niece, Ashley, loves going to the park. I ought to take her more often. Maybe this Sunday will be the day. I know I can take her ‘for sure’ on Wednesday, July 23rd after my dentist appointment. It’s on my calendar.

During the 1950s Berge had got himself on to the inside track of the homosexual literary scene, first as fan, then as friend to Jean Cocteau and Jean Giono. Together they made for a seductive duo.
-Alicia Drake
"The Beautiful Fall: Fashion, Genius, and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris"

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Overwhelmed

Michael would have preferred to be alone.  He was still avoiding people.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 9, 1986
Wednesday

One major event of the day included saying goodbye to Margaret Lai (even though she’s not leaving the office until August 31st).

Barbara Reynolds called my direct line while Steph was listening-in and observing my client interactions. Oops.

I received a phone call from Johnny who was in Pismo Beach.

I went to the gym and Mark said, “Hey, I got your card.”
I guess that was his way of saying ‘Thanks’.
Mark asked, “Are you into taking the eight-thirty aerobics class?”
I shrugged as if I wasn’t sure. I ended up NOT taking the class. I worked out instead.
Rick was there and he said, “Hey Mike, I called you but your recorder said you were at a movie.”
Once again I shrugged. It was mid-week and I just wanted to work out.

Sue Croce did come over to The City and met me for lunch.  We ate at THE HAVEN.  It was short and as sweet as could be expected.

My GUCCI watch is still missing; however, I did see a new one at EMPORIUM that I like a lot.

I went to John and Sherri’s and took them the PEE WEE HERMAN Videotaped movie per their request.  After the delivery of the VHS tape I went home to bed.  Yawn.

"I wanted to see your town."
"...You've got to get out of it, Michael, before you are overwhelmed by mediocrity...and emotional leeches...who are draining you, sapping your vitality and destroying your talent."
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

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Her "STAR"

To complete his misery, he was conscious of his own absurdity and exaggerated it.  But what he did not see was the expression of his eyes; they were so fine, and spoke of so ardent a spirit that, like good actors, they sometimes imparted a charming meaning to that which had none.
-Stendhal
"The Red and the Black"

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 8, 1986
Tuesday

There was a big 6.0 earthquake in Palm Springs. I couldn’t call Ron to check up on him because I didn’t know his telephone number.

I telephoned Sue Croce. I had to give her directions to San Francisco as we are meeting for lunch tomorrow. I figured we’d eat at PATRICK’s or NATOMA’s or THE HAVEN.

Margaret Lai received a job offer to work with the TAS (Telephone Answering Services Group) today. Winnie received a job offer to work with Priority Accounts in Redwood City. Meanwhile, I am still here. Steph referred to me as her “STAR”. I guess that was supposed to make me feel better.

I had an idea. I decided to look into a Personnel Agency that hired Executives. It may not be worth it with my NCS (Net Credited Service) date about to accelerate on May 3, 1987. This will mean three weeks of vacation plus six days off WITH pay and one without pay and five sick days WITH pay (as I will be able to bridge my old time from when I worked at Pac Bell before I left for college).

I had another idea to work part-time at UPS. Then I realized there was no need to work myself to death. I will simply continue as I am. I will still live comfortably.

I rode my bike after work from 5:45 until 6:45PM. I left at 7PM for the gym and worked out until 8:20PM. Joyce was just coming in as I was about to leave.
Joyce said, “You should do the eight-thirty aerobics class.”
There was no way. I was exhausted. Mark was just driving in as I was leaving. We exchanged a few brief words and I left for my mom’s house.

John, Sherri and Ashley dropped by while I was at mom’s house. Ashley gave me (Uncle Mike) a kiss. She’s so sweet.
She gave me some of her M&M’s and kept saying, “Uncle Mike…Uncle Mike…Uncle Mike.”
Ashley made me feel so good. I want to take her to the park---or the zoo—again very soon. Maybe I can do that on Sunday after my bike excursion in San Francisco.

I telephoned Julie Waller, my Vietnamese high-school pal. She is going to be quitting her job at VALENTINO’s.
Julie said, “I’m just so tired of waitressing.”
“That’s how I feel about being an Account Executive that is really a Service Representative.”


I telephoned Johnny Schaefer too. He was telling me how he felt and heard the earthquake.


I still cannot believe that Denise Vinsonhaler called me last Wednesday. I think that was the day she called. She hasn’t called again. I do get a fair share of ‘hanger uppers’, so who knows?


It looks like I will need a new journal soon. I am on the last page. These ink specks here are because I just sneezed in the journal book.


There are only twenty-seven business days until my trip to New York with Mr. Leoni.

People fake a lot of human interactions.
Q: "How does someone so dumb get so much power?"
A: "She knows how to play the game."
-DEXTER, TV Series
Season I

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Pumping Iron

"I had to tame him."
-Yann Martel
THE LIFE OF PI

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 7, 1986
Monday

I went to get Dad at his house. He was going to help with my car. I took BART in to San Francisco.

I telephoned Johnny Schaefer from work. I felt a bit of guilt for not seeing him in Los Angeles, so I simply called to wish him a good day. He seemed to like and appreciate that.

I also telephoned Mark Landreth. We had a great talk.
I performed a white lie by saying, “Yeah, I went to Sacramento for the 4th of July.”
“Oh, so that’s where you were.”
“Yeah, how did your dinner with Cindy go?”
“Pretty good,” Mark replied.
“How was dessert?” I asked with a chuckle.
Mark laughed.
Mark changed the subject and asked, “Did you watch the ‘Pumping Iron’ flick last night?”
“I saw a little of it.”
Now I am beginning to think he really is QBL (Questionable) based on the scenes I saw while watching ‘Pumping Iron’. I just don’t know.

I sold an 800 WATS line and one Remote Call Forwarding service today. It was a good show for my first day back to work.

My stomach felt full all day. I felt like a slob. I have to watch my eating patterns closely.

I telephoned Sue Croce but her mom answered the phone.
“Oh, Sue’s in Tahoe.”
“Okay, Thanks…just tell her Mike called.”

Sue called me that evening.
I asked, “Could you meet me in The City for lunch one day this week.”
“Okay, I think I can do that.”

I went to the gym. Mark and Dave were there. Mark went for the 8:30PM aerobics class. I didn’t. Joyce was there. I felt brave.
“So, Joyce--why don’t we go out this Friday night?” I asked, flashing a smile with hopes of a positive response.
“Do you realize I’m going to be twenty-three this Tuesday?”
“Big deal…I’m twenty-seven.”
She couldn’t believe my age. Finally she answered my initial question.
“Well, I have to figure out what I am doing. Why don’t you ask me later in the week?”
“Okay, I will.”
I thought silently to myself while on the Life Cycle, “Okay, only one more time and if I don’t get a straight answer from her she HAD her chance.”
I had eaten dinner at mom’s house, so my workout was really a battle of the bulge. Tomorrow I will work out harder.

I wrote Paloma a card or two.  I also wrote a quick card to Mark.

I hope Joyce will go out with me. I think we’d make a good looking pair.

It was very peaceful and quiet.  I wondered why it was that places are so much lovelier when one is alone.
-Daphne du Maurier
"REBECCA"

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