It's Only Temporary

...talking about possessions in general, it is the objects that bear the marks of events in our lives that are the ones most precious to us.

-Morag Joss
"Half Broken Things"

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 29, 1985
Monday

I cannot find my bike chain—the one that Helen bought me. Well, she bought me the silver chain and I bought the bike pendant on my own. Where is it?

It’s my first day back to work.

Rachelle asked, “Do you want to go to the gym tonight around eight o’clock?”
I didn’t talk to her at all yesterday. It was no big loss. She went to her mom’s company (VIKING FREIGHT COMPANY) picnic. I worked steadily throughout the day. I suppose I will see her at the gym.

During my first break I asked Margaret Lai to accompany me on a walk to my bank teller. She obliged sweetly. She described my niece, Ashley as a ‘living doll’.

Dale looked really thrashed this morning. I guessed that he’d worked overtime with the Escort Service. Ha-ha. At lunchtime he gave me the inside story:

At the age of twenty-two, Dale is literally becoming a male prostitute and reacts proudly of the fact! He explained that he first got this job as an escort driver for the female escorts.

Now Dale is engaged in a few oral acts with male customers. I find it all so degrading in a way. He made one-hundred and fifty dollars last night for ten minutes of jerking-off some surgeon, allowing the surgeon to cum on Dale. Yuck! I cannot believe him. He swears he did it and ‘what’s done is done’.

Dale insisted, “Trust me, Michael, it’s only temporary.”
Dale treated me lunch with the tax-free funds he’s collected. It’s his life. I can’t tell him how to live it.

After work I came home and received a neat plastic ‘BLOW-UP’ heart from Paloma. She’s so sweet to think of me. I sent her a couple of cards, letting her know of my departure flight from San Francisco Airport on September 2nd, arriving Paris the morning of September 3rd, and leaving Paris on September 13th. I hope she’ll be excited that I’m coming to see her. I know I need to get away for a while. My space from Rachelle is definitely necessary.

Rachelle comes to me and nags me about my actions. She does not truly love me. She often cuts me down. I’ll never hear the end of her using that phrase of ‘my past life’. Can’t she understand how some things happened and now it’s over!

I went to the gym and worked out.
Randy scrambled over to me and said, “Hey, Rachelle is here.”
“Oh yeah? I’ll keep my eyes peeled.”
I worked out. Rachelle and I talked near the coed sauna area. She started talking about her guitar lessons.
“Isn’t your guitar practicing just a fad?”
She didn’t like that question at all. Oops. It is a fad as far as I’m concerned.
“Is your working out just a fad?” Rachelle asked, as if passing a hard tennis ball swerve right back into my court.
“No, not at all,” I replied in disagreement.
“My skating isn’t a fad either,” Rachelle added.


The first three days Rachelle began skating with utter excitement. I rarely hear of her skating now. If skating was not a fad she’d do it once or twice a week (like I do my bicycling).

By the way, that COORS Bike Classic is this coming Sunday in San Francisco. I can’t wait to go, just to observe.

I never heard from VIDEO CONCEPTS about my credit application for my 25-inch JVC TV. I wonder what the status may be.

When I arrived home tonight I was thinking about what Rachelle had said: “I don’t like your attitude lately!”
I thought, “Well, shit…that’s another cut-down on me! I’m sick of her knocking me. I’m really tired of it. Words like that bug me. Not to mention the fact that she and Jim engaged in guitar lessons today. It was always ‘Jim this’ and ‘Jim that’. I know it sounds like I’m jealous but I am glad I came home to the receipt of Paloma’s heart.”

I left my black and white checkered shirt at the gym. I hope no one stole it. I really liked that shirt. I’m supposed to call the gym soon to see if it’s still there. Nope. I just lost a shirt. Why is it that the shirts or material items that get misplaced, stolen or lost are the items that you seem to value the most. Bobbie, the one I spoke to, suggested I check the lost and found the next time I visit the gym. I know it won’t be there. I’ve got that kind of luck. Oh well, while I’m in Paris I’ll make up for it and buy some key active sportswear.

I’m watching BEULAH LAND, a movie on tape that my mom let me borrow. It also stars Lesley Ann Warren. I’m also eating a Lean Cuisine dinner that Marty, my ex-roommate, happened to leave in the freezer.

I wonder if Mike Miller or Greg Manaschevitsch would be willing to move-in here at the $300/month rate. Effective August 9th I get a raise of $510 per week. I’m getting up there but I have a long way before I clear my VISA and MASTERCARD debt. Time will tell.

Artists must learn to look, most people never do. They see only what they expect to see.
-Morag Joss
"Half Broken Things"