-Honroe de Balzac
"Seraphita"
When I hear the term 'Over The Edge' I always think of a book that I read by Jonathan Kellerman back in 1987.
Over the Edge is a psychological thriller that revolves around psychologist Alex Delaware and a former client of his. This teen calls Alex in the middle of the night and, with a mixture of insane garbled prose, begs for help.
Already feeling guilty over a previous failure to help this particular child, Alex races out to the mental institution where the boy has called from, only to find that he has escaped!
The scenario gets worse when, only hours later, he is discovered at the scene of a violent crime and is now the only suspect in a spree of serial killings. Alex doesn't believe that this over achieving teen could possibly have gone from "gifted" to psycho serial slasher and when he discovers the connection between the boy and the last slain victim, he's certain he's not guilty and sets out to try to free him.
Alex, in previous novels, usually succeeds. However, he must defend the child from his own attorneys and the family who has banished him and fear for their own.
Twenty-five years ago today:
July 4, 1985
Thursday
All right! I was able to sleep in today but I still have no hot water to take a soothing shower. I called mom about it last night.
Mom said, “Dad will come by tomorrow to take a look.”
So, I hope Dad comes by today. Marty, my roommate, went to Sacramento (I believe). He was not here last night which is great for additional privacy on my part.
Yesterday I received information about another $5000 credit limit with my CHASE MANHATTAN BANK VISA. Unbelievable! I am not going to ‘go for it’—or should I?
I went to mom’s and dad’s house for pancakes. John, Sherri and Ashley came by and joined us for the pancake breakfast. Ashley is beginning to recognize me again. She willingly kissed me a number of times today. I played ball with her in the backyard. She liked that fluorescent orange golf ball.
I tried watching a taped episode of “The Young and The Restless” with mom but I—sort of—fell asleep during parts of it. Then I tried lying out in the backyard to form another layer of tan over my semi-peeling face.
Dad woke up. Mom, Dad and I went to my house. I cleaned out my clothes that were in my upper shelves of my closet. It looks so neat now. I helped Dad to drain and remove the water heater.
Dad said, “I’ll replace it with a new one tomorrow or Saturday.”
I hope it’s soon. I never really took hot water for granted but you realize how precious it is when you don’t have any. I don’t like cold baths or showers.
By 4PM I went to mom’s house to shower. How clever is that? I arrived at Rachelle’s house by 5PM. When I arrived Jim and Billy were taking off to the Seven-Eleven Convenient Store. Rachelle had just gotten out of the shower, so they invited me to tag-a-long with them.
“Sure, why not,” I said.
There was a cyclist entering the Convenient Store as I was buying a box of chocolate covered Raisinettes. I felt guilty, knowing that bicycling would have done more wonders for me today. The cyclist seemed so happy and in-shape.
Rachelle had already taken the greeting card that was in my car for her (the one with the photo of the piano and twelve roses). I didn’t even have the joy of handing it to her. We left to pick up her grandmother, stopping for gas along the way. The service attendant was a very nice, blond fellow.
The blond fellow asked, “Hey, why don’t you have the convertible top down today?”
“You know how it is---she doesn’t want her hair mussed up,” I said with a nod towards Rachelle who was seated in the passenger seat.
The blond fellow smiled, nodding back.
As we drove off I said, “Rachelle, from now on…when it’s a summer day like this the convertible top goes down!”
“All right, but NOT when I’m in the car!”
We actually compromised today and I was able to put the window half way down. She got all upset over the window situation. When I tried to touch her arm she yelled at me, “Stop it!”
I could see the veins filling with blood as they were revealed on her neck. It proved how angry she was at me over such a nuisance thing (rolling the convertible top down on a hot day!). How I put up with her I do not know? I did not say one more word until we arrived at her Grandmother’s house.
She made a point of saying, “Let’s try to have a nice rest of the day.”
Then she blatantly confronted me with my past gay experiences.
“I don’t know, Michael. It’s only now just sinking in with me and I’m not sure what in the hell to do,” Rachelle announced.
This seemed like an excuse to bring up during EVERY argument now. I was stunned.
I didn’t reply but I thought that if I were pushing her to the edge…then—let me tell you---we are through as a relationship! She will be the one to fall off of the edge. I will still be on top of that cliff—so to speak---ready to move on with my life happily.
Why does Rachelle insist on reversal roles? When we arrived at her Grandma’s house she grabbed my hand and began to motion her mouth with private kisses to me. It beats me! It was as if the last twenty minutes of arguing never took place.
While at her Grandma’s house we all lounged in the backyard. I met all eight of her cats! Their names were Flea Bags, Peepee, Rhubarb, Oreo Cookie, Sweet Pea, Rat, Mom and Crystabelle.
We ate dinner. I had a good T-Bone and all was good. It was yummy and filling. We went out to the San Leandro Marina and enjoyed a fireworks show at 10:30PM. It was a mess out there on the streets. Every car that came by had to maneuver to avoid the obstacle course of used fireworks. We went inside for banana splits (as if I wasn’t full enough). I drove Rachelle’s Grandmother back to her home. She’s a nice lady. I like her a lot. She was all worried about her one cat that she had left outside for so long.
I thought to myself, “To think I actually have to work tomorrow!”
Rachelle is going white-river rafting tomorrow with Jim DeLeauze. It is fine I guess. It only bugs me because I know Jim likes Rachelle. I’ll just have to remember this so-called white-river rafting event as a defense mechanism (for when I decide to go on an outing of sorts with someone that likes me).
I was recalling a conversation I had with Rachelle the other day.
“I am thinking of going to Paris in September,” I announced.
Of course, Rachelle got all upset.
“Wait…I said I was thinking of going—but my financial stability says no to the idea right now. Calm down!”
That was the end of that.
At least Rachelle’s little brother, Billy, is going on the rafting trip, too. It’s too bad I have to work. Even so I am sure I wouldn’t have been invited considering what little she has mentioned to Jim about me.
Tomorrow is Friday night and Rachelle is planning to come by. We’re going to catch up on the ‘lost’ feelings of Rodney. He has been neglected lately (to our dismay). I love Rachelle but her bickering has got to go! If only she’d be as picturesque and calm as I’d want her to be. If a picture paints a thousand words then why can’t… Only time will tell--but why do I foresee negative vibes?
The body receives back the flame that consumes it, the flame has once more grasped its prey. This fusion, however, does not take place without convulsions, explosions, tortures; analogues and visible signs of which may be seen in chemistry, when two antagonistic substances which science has united separate.
-Honroe de Balzac
"Seraphita"
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