Afraid to Touch

"Sometimes," he sighed, "I think the things I remember are more real than the things I see."
-Arthur Golden
"Memoirs of a Geisha"

Twenty-five years ago today

December 23, 1985
Monday

I left for work and I didn’t even kiss him goodbye. I just left. I am not sure whether or not I’ll call him either. I didn’t sleep well at all because I felt we went to sleep on negative terms. I may or may not see him at the gym tonight. He had said he’d be going Christmas shopping today.

I like Anne Alberti, the aerobics teacher at the gym. She turns me on.

The blemish on my chin is still there and I wish it would go away.

I bought Margaret Lai a pink heart pin and a jar of strawberry preserves. I also found her son, Lance, a baby doll of a baby. I hope she’ll appreciate the thought.

I wonder what comments I will get out of Mary and Ryan after last Friday night. I know they’re both drooling over the CMG chum of mine.

I lost control. I telephoned Chad. He clearly wondered why I left this morning without waking him with a good bye.
I explained, “I didn’t want to wake you. I was also afraid to touch you, fearing that you’d tell me to leave you alone.”

Ryan asked, “So, have you recovered from last weekend?”
I replied, “Chad wanted to call and apologize for his actions. He said he normally never gets drunk like that.”
Ryan smiled.

Mary looked wasted today.


Carl Brooks asked, “So Mike, where did you find such a cute roommate?”
I laughed and shrugged my shoulders.


I had a great sales day. I sold an 800 WATS Service and two RCF orders and had a couple of Pac Tel Referrals for phone equipment.


Emmalene sent me some candy from Pac Tel Info Systems. She clearly wants more referrals. Margaret Lai gifted me a box of candy as well.


The day dragged on. It wasn’t very busy.


After work I came home and Chad invited me over for dinner.
It was a good meal. Now we’re going to go shopping at Bay Fair Shopping Center. We’ll follow that with a gym visit. He hasn’t done hardly any shopping. He’s cute. We bought a few things like a LIFE game for Dave and Narn. He found “Hugwood” sweat shirts for his ma and pa. The lady at the T-Shirt shop (Fat Albert’s sister) was kind of a drip.

The world around him seemed a rebuke filled with connections, a near-constant tease of people meeting people in the commerce of existence.
-John Katzenbach
"The Analyst"