The Usual Hogwash

...an element of ritual was in play.
-Ian McEwan
"Enduring Love"

Twenty-five years ago today

December 17, 1985
Tuesday

I left Chad at my house. We departed with mutual ‘good spirits’ this morning. We will probably meet up at the gym this evening. I feel sleepy on this morning.

I made it through my work day. Mary McTiernan and I took a walk for a hot dog during our lunch period. We sat around on Market Street and did some people watching, too.

I have been working diligently (as usual). I am kind of tired from all the excitement of Chad keeping me up late.

I went home and wanted to take a nap. I didn’t nap and chose to head over to visit my Dad at around 7PM. While I was at Dad’s two old friends of Tony’s had stopped by to inquire about him. Their names are Jim Mavroganis and John Horton. Eight years had passed since they were all in high-school together. My Dad and I talked to them for a while.

Eventually, I found myself at the gym and saw Leonard Perillo. He seemed uncomfortable about running in to me but he shook my hand anyway.
“I’ve been so busy and not feeling all that well,” Leonard explained.
It was the usual hogwash.
Leonard asked, “Did you ever receive my letter?”
I believe he was referring to a Letter of Recommendation to accompany my Job Transfer Request.
“No,” I said, “I never got it!”
“Well, you should call my office,” Leonard announced defensively and professionally.
I thought quietly to myself, “I really don’t need to waste my time. I can continue my life without his aid or assistance just fine.”
Just as I turned around I saw Chad.

Chad and I exchanged a few words.
Chad asked, “Did you receive my message?”
“Oh yeah, I did,” I said, realizing he meant the ‘listed note’ about his thoughts and feelings.
He smiled.
I love it when he smiles.
I had a feeling Leonard was observing our interaction but it was NBD (No Big Deal).

Chad and I worked out together for the first time tonight. Chad gave me some pointers. I liked working out with him. It was fun and helpful.

Afterwards, Chad and I went to the Bay Fair Shopping Center where my portrait (for my mom) was still not ready. We meandered through the Mall a bit. We had a good time between yogurt and Mrs. Field’s Cookies. Yogurt is my current line of interest while Mrs. Field’s is currently favored by Chad.

PHOTO: The Heartbreak Kid, 1972 Film Clip

After the Bay Fair excursion Chad followed me to my house. We started to watch “THE HEARTBREAK KID” movie but we were interrupted by a phone call. It was Larry calling at 11:25PM. I didn’t hear the actual conversation but Chad told me that Larry called to say he wanted him to move out. Chad was having one heated discussion with Larry. I just sort of sat around on stand-by, pretending not to listen.

After Chad’s intense phone call we went to bed. Loved. Slept.

Yet, simultaneous with this love, he felt a burning shame.
-Shyam Selvadurai
'Cinnamon Gardens', a novel