XS

I’ll tell everyone that the children are my reason for living, when in reality my life is THEIR reason for living.
--Paulo Coelho
“Veronika Decides To Die”

Twenty-five years ago today

December 1, 1985
Sunday

My first day of December and I spent the start of it bicycling with Chad. We rode to ‘La Petite Boulangerie’ in Alameda. This place is becoming our standard local visit on Sunday mornings. We did some more riding after we checked for free candy samples at the Hallmark Card Shop. There were no complimentary candy handouts today.

We enjoyed lunch at the Ice-Cream Dock. It happened to start raining, so we didn’t ride our bikes much longer. We proceeded to my place and watched ‘COUNTRY’. I admit that I began falling asleep to it. Eventually we went upstairs to get ready to return the videotapes to WHEREHOUSE RECORDS. We both got side tracked because we both concurred to horse-back riding. Chad rode. It was fun.

We had to stand in a long line at WHEREHOUSE RECORDS. Dinner at Wendy’s (sort of) made up for the long wait.

We returned to Chad’s pad in Castro Valley since it was closer. I would have rather been back at my pad. Larry was there and I was recalling the phone conversation that Chad had with him at my house last Saturday night. Chad wanted to chew Larry out for his rudeness. Chad was on the defensive about ‘us’, saying we had every right to be at the house last Saturday. It seems that Larry’s pal, Randy, feeds these negative things into Larry’s head. As I was listening it sounded to me like Larry has had strong feelings towards Chad in the past. It’s just that Chad never returned those feelings. There is definitely an inside story here but it’s not important now.

When Chad and I left Wendy’s I said, “It looks like your eyes are watering.”
“They are,” Chad answered, confirming the tears.
Suddenly, his eyes began to get more watery. It reminded me of Mel Gibson in the “TIM” movie. Tim would be so happy that he’d cry.  I think Chad is so happy to be so close to me.  I hope to (and I better) straighten him out to the fact that I care deeply for him as well.

I don’t want our picture perfect scenario to ever mess-up. It is as I’d written in a previous card: ‘It won’t mess-up if we really want it to work.’

We lounged and watched Amazing Stories, Alfred Hitchcock and Johnny Dangerously. I was soon driving back to my home in the rain. I was thinking about all of the things Chad and I had shared over this last weekend. It’s been “XS” (Extra Special).

He was afraid of deep water, hated swimming or trying to, and often thought that somehow his end might be watery.
-Patricia Highsmith
“The Boy Who Followed Ripley”