The Crust of Habit

Reality is not going to be enough for her now. We got lost in our own subconscious. We lost sight of what was real.
-INCEPTION, 2010 motion-picture

Twenty-five years ago today:

August 14, 1985
Wednesday

Yesterday I received a three-thousand dollar cash advance and deposited it into my checking account due to liquidated securities. Now I can write checks galore and hopefully pay things off for good.

Rachelle and I had a brief talk last night. I think we mutually feel we should break-up. We are. She is just too young.
Rachelle said, “I wish I’d met you ten years from now.”
Let me do the math. That would be the year 1995. I cannot wait that long. I must go on living despite my hang-ups about her. And so, I shall. I will try not to dwell on the loss of her. We’ll remain friends. I just wonder if I will ever get my turquoise tank-top or my navy blue sweatshirt or my jewelry box or my Corey Hart album (all things she suspiciously took away from me). Suspicious Love…

Work was not as hectic as the day before. I had a great omelet for breakfast.

I am feeling guilt-ridden because I have not been biking lately. I need that release. That rash between my legs is finally clearing-up. It still itches a bit though.

Dale and I went to see the new movie “Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure” last night. It was funny. I liked it a lot. Dale got an unexpected kick out of it, too.  "I know you are...but what am I?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOGWbzUM-y8

I went home after seeing the flick at the Grand Lake Theater in Oakland. I received a surprise visit from Suzy Miller. She ended up staying at my pad until 10PM. We almost fell asleep together on my living room couch. When she left I revived a boost of energy within me and did my ‘Muscle Motion’ aerobic workout tape.

After the workout I watched Joan Rivers on The Tonight Show. Her guests included Pee Wee Herman, Betty White and Roddy McDowell.

Rachelle telephoned.
“So tell me, Michael. What do you think about us?”
Gulp.
“Well,” I said, “I understand your feelings and how we may have met at a wrong place in time.”
It’s true. We are breaking-up. Breaking up is hard to do. I explained to Rachelle that my trip to Paris was too good a deal (five-hundred and eighty-eight dollars round-trip) to pass up at this time of year.
I added, “You know, I bought you a ring.”
She sighed and I could tell she felt good about ‘the ring’. Well, she won’t be getting the ring now.
“What are you going to do with the ring?” Rachelle asked.
“Oh I don’t know. I may just give it to my mom.”
I probably will give the ring to my mom. It’s hard to fathom but I guess Rachelle and I are really breaking it off. I kind of hate the idea of facing her in person. I can’t stop falling out-of-love with just a snap of the fingers. She’ll become a fond memory. Perhaps she will only be a casual acquaintance a year from now.

Marty, my ex-roommate, called me last night.
“Hi Mike, I just want you to know that I mailed the garage door opener yesterday.”
“Okay, thanks. When I get it I’ll mail you back your three-hundred and forty dollar deposit.”

Mike Thoennes telephoned the other day.
“Do you want to go skating, Michael?”
I was in no mood for the gay skating rink vibes. I declined, staying home to exercise instead.

It’s getting closer. In another two weeks I will be off to Paris.

Both Suzy and Dale made me worry over the risk of all of the airplane crashes that have been occurring. Thanks a lot!

It's funny, I thought, how the routine of life goes on, whatever happens, we do the same things, go through the little performances of eating, sleeping, washing. No crisis can break through the crust of habit.
-Daphne du Maurier
"Rebecca"