Plaid Pants

"My motive is the simplest imaginable revenge."
-Stefan Zweig
"The Post-Office Girl"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 19, 1986
Sunday

Chad wanted me to invite Mike Miller over last night. I didn’t want to but I decided to give Mike a call today.

Chad and I went to La Petite Boulangerie this morning. Chad was very quiet and I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that I let him order his own breakfast.
Chad made a snide remark, “You had a three course meal.”
I had a turkey sandwich, coleslaw, water, milk and a chocolate croissant. He was being very ‘hush-hush’. I later learned that he was thinking of going to visit his folks.
“It’s my Dad’s birthday today and I told him that I might stop by,” Chad said.

Whatever the case, Chad decided not to inconvenience me, so he tagged along with Mike Miller and me to the Alameda Flea Market on this shabby, overcast looking Sunday. It was ‘yucky’ at the flea market today. Of course, Chad had to go off and say mean things. I bought a pair of plaid pants that I thought were cool.
Chad said to Mike Miller, “I wouldn’t want to be seen with him wearing those plaid pants. That’s for sure!”
It’s those little things that hurt my feelings. Once again he doesn’t think before he speaks.

Chad and Mike Miller shared a pizza at Round Table Pizza. I was too full to eat pizza. I watched a triathlon competition on TV while at Round Table.
Mike Miller said, “Mike, you don’t look real excited.”
I said, “Oh no, I’m okay. I’m excited.”
Mike Miller’s statement kind of got me because he and Chad were both just as neutral in their demeanor as I was. What was the big deal?


Chad, Mike Miller and I made our next stop at MAGIC VIDEO. I was going to rent the movie LIFEFORCE or BIRDY but both of them were checked-out. Mike Miller chose “BROTHER FROM OUTER SPACE” which was a stupid flick. I’m sorry it was chosen. Mike Miller likes weird things like that sometimes. After watching the movie at my pad I drove Mike home. Chad accompanied us for the ride.


I returned the “BROTHER FROM OUTER SPACE” movie at MAGIC VIDEO immediately. When Chad and I returned to my place we ‘sort of’ hugged after I suggested a walk in the neighborhood. We went to Shoreline Park and walked up this playful tower that I call ‘Skylark 23’. It was kind of cool as we managed to take in the view of San Francisco from this point. It was very nice.


We thought of pizza and settled on Lung Kong for Chinese food. I used my VISA card to pay. It’s okay once-a-month I guess. During our meal I got on Chad’s case.
“I didn’t like that snide remark you made about my plaid pants and other things that you say.”
“Well, I can’t be prissy, prim and proper!”
Chad thought aloud about being an abused child.
Then Chad said, “I don’t know why I like Mike Miller. I figure it’s because I feel sorry for him.”
I wondered if he was testing my jealousy mode. Jealousy does not concern me with Chad.
Suddenly Chad apologized, “I’m sorry about my actions as of late. I do want us to enjoy our time together and NOT start to dislike our times together.”
“I agree.”
We have shared a lot of good experiences thus far.
Chad shrugged. “You do disagree with just about everything I say.”
“That’s not true. If I do—you do the same.”
Chad shut up at this point.

Chad and I were watching CLUB MED while lying on my sofa. I kept thinking what fun a tropical vacation would be.
I recalled overhearing Chad tell Mike Miller, “Yeah, we might go to Florida.”
I hope we do go to Florida.


At 11PM Chad left for Castro Valley.
“I’ll miss you,” Chad said.
“Me too,” I whispered.
I do feel the same way—but somehow I find his absence during the week may be for the best. I need time to think away from him. His rudeness bugs me (especially when he doesn’t realize it). When I try to get even with him I seem like the bad guy. It’s not right for me to throw an arrow after he’s thrown an arrow. For the most part I do think he’s wonderful.


I asked Chad, “If someone came along that you were REALLY attracted to—what would you do?”
“I’d explain that I was seeing someone,” Chad answered, “but if I was REALLY interested I’d discuss it with the one I was seeing and see what transpired from that point.”
All I can say is that I’d be ‘old news’ and strictly friends from that point on.


Chad wants to host his own show someday. I can believe he will be famous one day. Will I be in his thoughts at that time? Only time will tell.


I liked Chad’s fantasy of sneaking into a model home and making it inside one of the bedrooms.
I said, “Hey, like two models in a model.”
Chad laughed.


When Chad left at 11PM I went to bed alone. I felt a sense of loss from this past weekend with Chad. Perhaps next weekend we will revive our relationship. I may try harder. That’s all I can do. I mean…I care a lot. I do love the guy.

True friendship is seen through the heart and not through the eyes.
"Mary and Max", 2009 Australian film