Answer: Words Of Comfort
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"
Twenty-five years ago today
January 22, 1986
Wednesday
What can I say? At least it was only a half-day of work for me today. Work is not really as bad as I make it seem. I am just ready for something new and more challenging.
I am here in my car, waiting for my dentist to return from lunch.
Sometimes I wonder if Chad runts into other fellows throughout his day that tempt him. I wonder if his temptations would lead him on further. When I think about how we met it’s a possibility—I suppose. The day I learn of his ‘acting on temptation’ I will be crushed. His chapter may come to a close. The memory of him would live forever for he’s on a pedestal at this point. I guess I am having these thoughts because I was sort of tempted today—but I immediately thought of Chad. The thought of him told me, “No way!”
It’s nice and sunny out today. Come here quickly ‘summer’.
I wonder if I will be getting my tooth bonded today. What will the cost be? Will my insurance cover it all? I wonder what my chin blemish diagnosis will be. I guess I shall find out soon enough.
I may be able to maneuver two-thousand dollars as a contribution to my Individual Retirement Account for tax year 1985. I could get two five-hundred dollar cash advances on my VISA and another one-thousand dollar advance on my MASTERCARD. Things may work out but these major credit cards must get paid off.
I think my insurance will cover all of my dental work. I have another dental appointment on February 3rd for some composite bonding of my number seven upper tooth which will rid me of that stain that doesn’t go away.
The dermatologist said the thing on my chin was a wart. I suddenly had visions of the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz. He treated it with some ‘freeze’ stuff. And later on this night (10PM) I poked it with a pin and did my own surgery because it looked too puffy and wart-like. I didn’t feel like appearing at work that way, so now I have a half-sized dime in diameter reddish blemish. That’ll probably turn into a scab and hopefully that wart will then be history (considering I paid the doctor $57.50 for his mediocre treatment).
I went to mom’s house after the doctor and slept off the minor stressors of the day. I sort of watched PASSION FLOWER, a movie that I had taped for my mom last Sunday.
John came over and we ate a bit. I remained at mom’s house until 7:15PM. It was around this time that I decided to go to the gym.
I went to my pad to change clothes for the gym when I started to feel depressed. It’s because I got word from INTERNATIONAL MALE, a direct mail catalog company, that they had received a ‘bad check’ from me for $82.71. How could that be? I had received a notice yesterday which showed that they owed me fifty-six dollars. I immediately wrote another check payable to International Male. My checkbook balance shows a slight negative balance and I know that my paycheck tomorrow will not be very grand. This news burdened me. It made me lose all energy with regard to going to the gym.
PHOTO: International Male Catalog,
Summer 1986
Chad telephoned.
I shared with him the details of my visits to the dentist and doctor. I didn’t reveal my money problems but I did tell him how I wasn’t in the mood to go to the gym.
Chad comforted me, “It’s okay if you don’t go to the gym. We’re allowed every once in a while.”
“I guess you’re right. I don’t feel so bad now since you approve.”
I went to mom’s house again and mom and I watched some show about “MISSING” people (including missing children). After that documentary I went home and saw that it was already 10PM.
I thought about doing some aerobics but looking in the mirror at my chin depressed me. I decided to go to bed for the night. It’s funny how money and one’s negative appearance can be such a depressant. At least I am working on both. In the long run things do turn out better, so I should just smile.
I thought about the parting words the dermatologist used today: “Now you can go on with the rest of your day.” Words of comfort.
I've known what LIFE is--always thinking about what everything costs means we've never been free.
-Stefan Zweig
"The Post-Office Girl"
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