Solemn and Quiet

"Sometimes I wonder how beautiful nature can be and how unbeautiful people can be."
-James Kirkwood
"Good Times Bad Times", a novel

Twenty-five years ago today

January 31, 1986
Friday

Here it is. It’s the last day of January. It’s the day one realizes they’re not really keeping up with their New Year’s Eve resolutions.

I worked through my day just fine. I telephoned Chad to inform him that Mary McTiernan, Dave Vigil and I would be at a place called LILY’s in San Francisco.
“We’ll meet you there between five-thirty and seven tonight,” I advised.
Chad seemed rather solemn and quiet. I think it’s mainly because of where he is in his life. When he moves out in March from his ‘free loading’ environment with Larry it will be better.

I am thinking of telling Chad that he can move-in with me for only $250 per month. I can almost predict his response though. Well, he can take it or leave it. It’s a bargain as far as I’m concerned.

Mary McTiernan and I went to LILY’s and had a couple of drinks. I realized I’d missed LILY’s. It’s a fun place and we were having a fun time. David Vigil appeared and we all sat around at a table outside. There were no more signs of rain. It was a reasonably nice and cool evening. Chad showed up and we all sat together talking about the new aerobics gym where David is now working (in addition to his job at Pac Bell).

We soon left altogether. Once again I was feeling a bit on the drunken side. I was being friendly and I could sense Chad whispering negative shit about me to Mary and David. We were all window shopping. I put my hand on each of their shoulders and Chad quickly pulled away like I was an asshole drunk. It was as if he wished he didn’t know me. I just let it go. I ignored him. We met David at his new gym called SYMMETRY.

We went to a restaurant next door to SYMMETRY and ordered a variety of hors d’oeuvres. We returned to the gym and there was music and dancing going on. Some gal named Sandra Dee was really nice to me. She (kind of) resembled Natalie Wood. We danced together. Chad and Mary danced together, of course. We left there by 10PM or so and went to David’s apartment in San Francisco. I changed my shirt into one of David’s sweatshirts that I liked. I tried on a pair of his tennis shoes. Chad and Mary left for BAJONE’s (where David and I were to meet them).

While David Vigil was getting ready to go out on the town a friend of his named Paul stopped by. Paul kissed David in front of me. I just pretended not to notice. I went outside for a 6-pak of MILLER beer with money provided by David, of course. I got the feeling that David wanted to be alone with Paul for a short while.

We left for BAJONE’s and there was a jazzy black band playing. I didn’t like the vibes very much but we went in, paying the four-dollar cover charge. David was kind enough to treat, so it was cool. I was having a ‘shitty time’ there. It really blew over when I said the word, “Gemini.” The music was so loud and I could hardly hear.
I thought I overheard Dave ask Mary, “You’re a Gemini, right?”
I think he asked that because he heard me say “Gemini”. I knew Dave was also a Gemini.
David gave me a puzzled look.
Mary laughed loudly, giving me this look that seemed to be asking ‘where are you coming from?’
Suddenly, Chad said, “You should meet his parents.”
And David added, “Oh, I know how he is…”
It all burned me up. I did NOT like it at all. I wanted to turn our table over and abandon them all. Instead, I centered all of my anger on Chad because he deserved it most.
I stated firmly and loudly, “What the FUCK do my parents have to do with it? What’s wrong with my parents? I love them. There’s nothing wrong with them you fuckin’ asshole! You’re a son-of-a bitch!”
Chad had a blank expressionless, in-control look on his face filled with shock and puzzlement.
David felt to blame.
Mary made a kind of smirk as she twinged. I was pissed-off.
I said, “I want to LEAVE.”
Chad was quiet for a bit. He apologized. “I apologize. I don’t know why I said that.”
Chad couldn’t even explain himself.


All I know is that no one and especially no friend of mine is going to make fun of my folks—my central bloodline who are the key to my existence. No friend of mine will ever make fun of my folks. I didn’t say much to Chad the rest of the night. I know I did put a damper on everyone’s evening with my reaction. Chad walked Mary to her car at the end of the evening while David and I stood at a corner. Chad returned and we both said goodbye to David.
“Don’t you guys want to go for coffee at my place?” David asked.
We decided against it.


During the drive over the Oakland-Bay Bridge Chad said, “I hope one incident; however negative would never break us apart because I do care for you very much…a lot. I love you.”
We held hands on the way home and I had a lump at my throat from sadness and happiness.
I didn’t and couldn’t say a thing except to say, “I didn’t understand your remarks!”


Chad had parked at the Fruitvale BART station which meant that he intended on spending the night.
I said, “I hope you will spend the night anyway.”
He followed me to my home. We cuddled. We slept.

Chad knew I was pissed--.
I was thinking what David said to me privately when we were standing at that corner: “I have never seen you like that.”
I was sure that Mary shared that identical sentence to Chad.
All in all—all turned out better when Chad and I returned home to my place.
Chad later said, “I could feel David look at me. David could read the care in my eyes for you.”


Whatever…I can’t quit caring or loving someone with just a snapping of my fingers.


"The world is full of MALICE, and people smooth the path for it."
-Franz Kafka
"The Village Schoolmaster"

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On The Same Wavelength

She had never thought of herself as a lesbian. She had never brooded over whether she was straight, gay, or bisexual. She did not give a damn about labels, did not see that it was anyone else's business whom she spent her nights with. If she had to choose she preferred guys--and they were in the lead, statistically speaking. The only problem was finding a guy who was not a jerk and one who was also good in bed.
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 30, 1986
Thursday

The scab on my chin is still not totally gone. It’s kind of depressing but it’s slowly deteriorating. I was thinking about purchasing some facial stuff for men to preserve and care for my face. I will have to look into it. Maybe I’ll get a facial somewhere and then see what they recommend in terms of products.

Brushing my teeth with baking soda proved clean and easy and my cavity-ridden feeling is gone.

Tonight is the party at the gym with the Chippendales and a Playboy Playmate by the name of Kim Morris. I’m not so sure I will attend. I think Chad said he may go. Perhaps I will go if he calls me tonight.

My brother, Tony, is working in my office now. He is on the other side of the grand office though. He does come over to my section every now and again to check on Judy, his training partner.

My cold that was coming feels better. I think the saltiness of that baking soda really helps to soothe my throat (as well as my teeth).

Coming in to work at seven o’clock in the morning isn’t as bad as I expected. The time goes by so fast. I eat breakfast and it’s very relaxing in the office (not that it isn’t throughout the day but it is definitely busier).

I saw a neat bumper sticker on a car today: “Forget the Whales…Save the Starving People.”

I worked as diligently as usual. Larry, the main boss, gave me a special assignment to call a friend of his in his Executive Club to firm up his PREMIERE telephone service.

Steph, my supervisor, had a section meeting with us about the ECC room for Telemarketing Seminars. She kind of looked at me when she mentioned how invaluable our jobs are and how many AT&T Representatives want to come back to PAC BELL. I guess Steph and Larry know I’m ready for a more challenging job/change.

After work Chad telephoned me at six o’clock. He was kind of down and out. He was primarily pissed-off because Larry (his roommate) didn’t cook dinner tonight.
Chad complained, “Larry knew I would be home at five forty-five. I just helped myself to some soup and you know what Larry yelled out?”
I asked, “No, what?”
“Company! That meant that he was referring to Randy and some other friends of his who were coming. And so I may stop by at the gym for that party just to get out of here.”
“Well, I’ll meet you there.”

I ended up meeting Chad at the Video Store. We went to the gym and tried to get an autographed photo of Kim Morris but it was much too crowded. We ran into Randy and Mike and then I saw Joyce.
I said, “Hi Joyce!”
Joyce smiled, “Oh, Hi!”
Then Joyce suddenly looked at the older looking lady that she was with (!).
I didn’t see Joyce after that brief greeting.
Later, when I told Steph Redding about it Steph had her own opinion.
Steph announced proudly as if she were Ann Landers, “You know, Michael. I believe that Joyce only showed up at that gym for the party to see you.”
“I don’t know about that. We’ll see.”

Chad and I didn’t stay at the gym festivities for very long. His mind seemed preoccupied. I finally got one of Kim Morris’ last composite photos with her autograph. We exchanged a few words after I saw her write ‘All My Love’.
I smiled and said, “I was hoping you’d write that.”
“We are on the same wavelength,” Kim said with a flashy smile.

PHOTO: Kim Morris, PLAYBOY Playmate 1986

Chad and I went to my car and talked for a while. He’s going to meet me in The City tomorrow night with Dave Vigil and Mary McTiernan. That should be fun. We parted ways and I simply went home.

I finally watched the ending of that Natalie Wood movie, “The Memory of Eva Ryker”. I watched the TV Drama DYNASTY spinoff called “The Colby’s”, too.

I telephoned Chad very quickly to verify and confirm tomorrow night.
I closed by saying, “Great. I just wanted to make sure you’re going to go. I’ll call you with directions.”

Chris Cordellos called me out-of-the-blue just before I went to bed.
“Yeah Mike, my mom’s been really ill. She just got out of the hospital again.”
“Oh man, I’m sorry. I hope she gets better.”
“Me too—I’m still going to beauty school. We should get together on Sunday or Monday.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” I said, realizing that he’s usually all talk.
Then I added, “Oh wait, this Saturday Margaret, a friend from work, and I are going to Fairfield…but it’s pouring outside, so I don’t know if we’ll actually go.”


We are threatened with suffering from three directions: from our own body (which is doomed to decay); from the external world (which may rage against us); and finally from our relations to other men (perhaps more painful to us than any other threat).
-Sigmund Freud
"Civilization and its Discontents"

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Bachelor Duties

She realized that the tragedy of death had to do entirely with what was left unfulfilled.
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 29, 1986
Wednesday

Yesterday history was made because the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up (seventy-three seconds into its flight) near Florida.  All seven crew members were killed (Michael J Smith, Dick Scobee, Ronald McNair, Ellison Onizuka, Christa McAuliffe, Gregory Jarvis and Judith Resnick).  It made me sad to learn that Christa McAuliffe was a high-school teacher from New Hampshire.

It’s pouring rain this morning. I forgot my duck handle umbrella, too. Boo-Hoo.


I had a poor sales day.


My teeth were bothering me. It’s as if I had a couple of cavities coming on. I think it’s cleared up.


At lunchtime my section had a PacTel luncheon that included spare ribs. It was a filling meal. My supervisor, Steph, mentioned Elizabeth Center’s promotion to management after she recently transferred. Coincidentally, I had a dream of this happening. I wonder why. I guess I wish I were in that predicament. Do I find it to be a problem? We usually dream our problems you know. Oh well—whatever. Steph also shared her experiences at the recent Branch Conference at the Concord Hilton over the last two days. It sounded fun.


At 5 o’clock sharp I went home instead of choosing to work overtime. I decided I should go home and brush my teeth. I also needed to go grocery shopping for food. I need baking soda and other goodies. I accomplished a lot.


I did visit my gym. I was surprised to see that all of the equipment had been rearranged. I saw Mark Landreth. He was working out with such concentration. He’s a nice guy. I find him to be very reserved. He reminds me a bit of myself at times.

I shopped at SAFEWAY in Alameda and went home to see the end of DYNASTY. I unpacked all of the groceries. I had the munchies and chose to eat half of my almonds while sipping a glass of Diet 7-UP. I wanted to make myself lunch for tomorrow but I forgot to buy baggies and lunch bags at the store. These little tidbit bachelor duties are endless. There’s a lot I still have to learn.


I was in bed by 10 o’clock. It’s funny because last night (and tonight) I woke up around midnight. I thought it was already time to get up and go to work. Tonight I woke at midnight because of the telephone ringing. I have no idea who it might have been. Maybe it was a computer line number being crossed with my line.

In the meantime, he was content the way things were, treasuring each hour with him, writing it up that night in his diary so that it could be cherished forever.
-Nial Kent
"The Divided Path"

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Time

"No matter how much money you make you'll never be rich.
The most valuable commodity I know is TIME."
-Michael Douglas
"Wall Street Money Never Sleeps", 2010 Film

Time (Clock of the Heart) by BOY GEORGE
PHOTO:  Boy George, August 1986

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9gKgdCWeSg

Twenty-five years ago today

January 28, 1986
Tuesday

I want to feel what it’s like to be able to say, “Oh—another payday again,” like I used to do in the past. I seem to be living up to each Thursday for my payday just to survive. I’ll balance it out sooner or later. I wonder how much I can expect from my income tax refund this year.

I am hot from wearing a heavy sweater this morning. I must try not to think of it.

“Today’s another day,” was my first thought when I woke up this morning. All I could think of was coming home and napping. Now I just want to do aerobics and go to the gym. We’ll see.

It really was another lax day at the office because all of the supervisor’s were at their Branch Conference.

Margaret Lai had her lunch with the red-headed bearded fellow from the Union Hall. She didn’t seem to feel he was very interested in what she had to say. She is attracted to him.
Margaret confided with me by saying, “I’ve made my move so now it all depends on him. That’s my way of thinking.”

I had a pizza at lunch time. I decided to stay in the building.
PHOTO: Margaret Lai with her son Lance, 1986

After work I did do my aerobics and made it to the gym. I saw Leonard Perillo but pretended not to see him. Who knows? It may not have been him. Chad wasn’t there either. I just concentrated on my workout and skedaddled on home.


Steph Redding, Salima Nassardeen-Hamilton (a former coworker who is now 6-months pregnant), and Denise Vinsonhaler all telephoned me. Oh yes, Frank Vasconcellos called me earlier to say he was joining my gym (24-Hour Fitness). How thrilling! (Of course, I am being sarcastic.)


I watched a bit more of that Natalie Wood movie, “The Memory of Eva Ryker”. I made a taped copy of the movie while I was enjoying a Cup-O-Noodles soup.


I finally decided to go to bed as I thought about Salima’s phone call. She just wanted to touch base with me. At first I didn’t know who she was. She’s working in the Walnut Creek RASC (Residence Account Service Center) now. She’s on disability at the moment because of her pregnancy.


Chad actually returned my call. We spoke briefly. We exchanged those ‘missing you’ sorts of words.


Denise Vinsonhaler went on and on about her condominium and her newly scheduled trip to Germany. She will be traveling with her Dad.
Denise added, “And then a few months later I’ll be going to Hawaii.”
“You’re lucky. I think I’ll talk to you tomorrow night because tomorrow is one of those be-at-work at seven o’clock kind of mornings.”
“Okay, good night.”
“Good night and sweet dreams.”
Yawn.

I can feel the currents, but I steer clear of them.
-Franz Kafka
"The Warden of the Tomb

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Club Med, BRECK Shampoo and PLAYBOY

The world turns on our every action, and our every omission, whether we know it or not.
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 27, 1986
Monday

Paloma telephoned me from France today. She gave me her new telephone number.
“I’m moving out this weekend from my mom’s house,” she said.
I was not sure if she was moving out ‘alone’ or with a roommate. I am not sure I really want to know.
She did say, “I won’t be in Paris any more starting May 1986.”
I asked, “Why not?”
“I got a job with Club Med and I will keep you informed of my traveling adventures, then maybe you can take a Club Med vacation.”
“That’s so great! I’m so happy for you. I will write to you.”
I kept my word. I wrote. I sent an Air-Mail letter today.

Steph Bautista, my supervisor, was at a Branch Conference in Concord along with most of the other managers. She will be there tomorrow also. Dale Orlando called-in sick today (no big loss).

Some asshole doctor customer kept me on the line well after 5PM today. I hate that.

I went home after work and immediately got ready for the gym. I met a really cute girl named Joyce.
The first thing I said to her was, “You know, your hair would make a great BRECK Shampoo TV commercial.”
She certainly seemed to like what I said.  I don’t think anyone ever used that line on her before.


While I was riding on the Lifecycle next to Joyce my pal, Leonard Perillo, came by and spoke to me briefly.
I asked, “So how are things with you?”
“Business is good. Have you seen Chad lately? What’s he up to?”
“Oh…the same—he’s very in to school right now.”
“Is he still living up there in Castro Valley?”
“Yeah, but he may move out in March.”
“Where to…Alameda?”
Leonard was obviously fishing.
I answered frankly, “It’s a possibility. I rode my bike from Alameda to his place just last Saturday. That was an exhilarating ride.”


Mark Landreth bid me a brief “Hello” today.  Rick (Chad’s friend) said, “Hello” too.
I asked Rick, “What’s up?”
He shouted, “I’m heading home to see the American Music Awards.”
I continued working out fairly well. I may make a return gym visit tomorrow because I feel fat lately.


After the gym workout I returned mom’s shampoo that I had borrowed.  I ended up not even using it because our showers have no hot water at the gym.  I borrowed some fresh grapes from mom’s fridge. I also took the extra quarters that she found and left for me (for my parking meter fees).


I showered when I arrived at my place and watched the ending of Natalie Wood in “The Memory of Eva Ryker”. It was sad because when I stopped watching the movie last night Clare Ryker (the character played by Natalie Wood) had been killed and left to drown amidst a torpedo stricken ship called the Queen Anne.  It’s a good movie, yet the connection to her true life drowning death was unusually uncanny.


This Thursday night some Chippendale’s men and some Playboy bunny named Kim Morris are supposed to be at this party at my 24-Hour Fitness gym.  I may attend—even if my chin is still in the recovery stage.
PHOTO: Kim Morris, Playboy
Playmate March 1986

By 10PM I decided to go to dream land. I was glad I had gone to the gym earlier because it made me feel much better.


I thought of calling Chad but I figured he’d be asleep.  I don’t want to bug him too much.  Our intimate episodes of last weekend were nice though. I miss him.  I can’t wait until we can meet up again and share more good times.

"I really believe that, at a certain point, if you’re born in ’60-something or whatever, you got ripped off—you know what I mean?  I always felt like I was meant to have been born in another era, another time."
-actor, Johnny Depp
VANITY FAIR,
January 2011 Issue

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My Hero

"A man whom the people elect to an important place in their government is always blamed for everything that goes wrong," my father said.
-James Mitchell Clarke
"Luis of Gudalajara"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 26, 1986
Sunday

Chad and I awoke rather late this morning. We both washed our cars. We both showered and went to La Val’s Pizza for a large combo.  We watched the Super Bowl together on La Val’s large TV screen as we munched on our pizza.

Chad shocked me when he said, “Ronald Reagan is my hero.”
I made a negative sigh.
He resented me for it.
It still surprised me to know that he considers him a ‘hero’.

After our pizza we went to my place and continued to watch the Super Bowl game. It was a long drawn out game. We went upstairs, screwed around and napped a bit.


Before we knew it the time was 4:30PM. Chad readjusted himself and got ready to leave. I could tell that was his plan. He did leave.

I had taped a Natalie Wood movie called “The Memory of Eva Ryker” while I had gone to mom and dad’s house for dinner.


My chin blemish (or wart) is getting better. However, I did say that a month ago.


Mom had me accompany her to SAFEWAY for a few goodies. Mom made me a homemade meatloaf sandwich for lunch tomorrow. What a sweetheart.


I returned home and spent the evening with Natalie Wood (by way of watching that movie, “The Memory of Eva Ryker”) until 9:30PM. I knew it was time to turn in, so I did.


"Do you survive because of what is in you?
Or because of what isn't...?"
-Richard Price
"Lush Life"

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A Nudist Camp

"People have two sides--a good side, a bad side--a past, a future and we must embrace both."
-Angelina Jolie
"The Tourist"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 25, 1986
Saturday

I think Ashley and Sherri are arriving tonight from their trip to Oklahoma.

I woke up at 7:15AM and went on a cycling tour from 8AM until 9:15AM.  I rode to Marina Park in San Leandro via Doolittle Drive.  After that ride I went and had a bit to eat at mom’s (a good breakfast).

I telephoned Chad from mom’s house but he was still sleeping.
“Call me back at 11:30 or if you’re home I’ll call you,” Chad had said.

At 11:30AM Chad telephoned me at my place.
“I drove to that girl’s party last night and I couldn’t find a parking space.  At the last minute I decided not to go in,” Chad revealed.
I laughed.
“That sounds like something I did once. No kidding?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Well, do you want to go bike riding today?”
Chad was reluctant but I persuaded him.  I impressed him by bicycling from Alameda to his house in Castro Valley in one-hour and ten minutes.  It wasn’t so difficult a ride.  It’s easier returning home because it’s more downhill.

Chad and I rode all the way to the end of Cull Canyon Road.  We visited a nudist camp called Sequoians:  http://www.sequoians.com/home.php
The facilities weren’t much to brag about.  The girl who was President had a hair on her tit (per Chad’s good eye).  There were two old men and two women that were nude.  They were nothing to speak of.  We left after discussing the cost of membership and a briefing about their events.  We gave our addresses for brochures to be sent.  It was funny.  That was my ‘first ever’ nude establishment visit.   There was none of the scenery that I had hoped to see.

We continued our bike ride and went to Chad’s (Larry’s) house.  Chad was really tired but I could have continued riding.  I had some Diet Coke and an apple as a refresher.  Larry offered to drive me part of the way home.
“It’s okay,” I said reassuringly to Larry.


Larry, Chad and Hannah (the dog) were going to drive out to Half Moon Bay to the beach.  I simply rode my bike to mom’s house and had dinner there.  I hung out there for a bit until I decided it was time to go home for a nap.  I needed rest after my eventful cycling day.  Cull Canyon was very green countryside.  It was scenic.

Mike Miller telephoned.
“Hey Mike, I was just wondering what you were up to tonight.”
“Not much…why don’t you call me a little later though.”


Stephanie Redding telephoned. She always cheers me up.
I explained, “Yeah, so this Collection Agency note arrived from Miller’s Outpost and it was so upsetting.”
Steph laughed, making me feel that it was really nothing to talk about.  It really was nothing when I really think about it.


I woke from my nap and got my laundry chores going.  I am supposed to call Chad if I get a brainstorm idea for tonight.  I kind of feel like dancing.  Then again…I don’t know.  I could put a band aid on my chin like I did today and probably have a good time.


Chad seems ‘wishy-washy’ lately. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t want to spend time with me because I’m boring—or at least I get the feeling he feels that way.  Maybe he would like to do other things---as I would---but money is a problem.  I am going to call him and suggest dancing at HMS or Bobby McGee’s.  The worst he can do is say, “No.”


I am not really sure I want to go out but I’ll call him anyway.  It’s mainly because I L--- him.
I dialed his number and Larry answered the phone.
Larry said, “Chad left for the gym just fifteen minutes prior to your call.  I told him to take his overnight gear in case he runs into you.”
I learned that he did—in fact—take his overnight gear but didn’t say a word to Larry. That means he was giving Larry the silent ‘all right already’ treatment.  It was Chad’s way of saying, “I won’t spend the night here.”
Larry added, “You should go to the gym and meet him there.”
Larry tried to convince me to go but it’s almost 9PM and the gym closes at 10PM tonight; whereby, I decided not to go.

I hope Chad calls me after his workout.  I do not understand why he didn’t call me before he headed out for the gym.
Larry explained, “Sometimes he feels he needs his space to himself.”
I can surely relate to that.  My therapeutic bike rides are ‘my’ time and space for myself.


I was watching some Saturday Night sit-com when Steph Redding telephoned to give me the news.
“I have a new job title as Property Manager at Century 21, Michael!”
“That sounds great.”
What else could I say?  Steph recommended that I read “Texas Temptress”, the paperback book tonight.  It’s the romantic tale that she says she wrote under a false name.  I decided to read it.


I was just getting into the book when I heard my front door opening.  It was Chad.  We hugged.  He went outside again in order to park his car into the garage.  Sherri happened to be driving by outside at the same time.  She thought Chad was me because he was moving my car so that his car could fit in the garage.  Sherri had just arrived tonight from Oklahoma.
Chad later said, “Sherri reeked of marijuana…or the inside of her car sure did!”


Chad, Sherri and I all decided to go out for a drink at Gallagher’s in Jack London Square.  My brother, John, was working and he treated our first round of drinks.  I went up for a second round but the other bar tender took my order which meant I had to dish out nine dollars.
John said, “You have to pay every once in a while.  You should make your friend pay because it seems like he’s moochin’.”
When John even detected Chad’s mooching ways it made me wonder.  In fact, since I’ve met Chad I have spent a number of dollars on him.  He doesn’t treat me very often at all.  I know about his tight finances but mine are tight as well. Oh well…I didn’t choose to dwell on it.


Chad, Sherri and I hung out and watched all of the folks until we decided to split at 12:45AM. We went to NATIONS Burgers. Chad seemed like he was ‘moochin’ by telling me what he wanted to order.
I said, “Well get it!”
He got it and he paid, so he had a little cash somewhere.


We then went home and Chad and I had a sensual night.  It was very much so. Maybe our semi-drunkard state made us more daring and intimately inclined. It was nice. We slept and awoke in the middle of the night for more. Then we slept again.

What incredible discoveries one could make with one’s eyes closed.
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

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Talk To Me

The mind was fragile, fickle, but the human body was resilient.
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

Stevie Nicks and I share common ground in that we are both born on the same day: May 26th (different year; she's eleven years older).  I thought of her while doing my blog today because her TALK TO ME song was a big hit in 1986. Here are the lyrics to TALK TO ME:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZHJxP7EsNQ

I can see we're thinkin' bout the same things
And I can see your expression when the phone rings
We both know there's something happening here
Well, there's no sense in dancing round the subject
A wound gets worse when it's treated with neglect
Don't turn around there's nothing here to fear

You can talk to me
Talk to me
You can talk to me
You can set your secrets free, baby

Dusty words lying under carpets
Seldom heard well must you keep your secrets
Locked inside hidden safe from view
Well, is it all that hard
Is it all that tough
Well, I've shown you all my cards now isn't that enough
You can hide your hurt
But, there's something you can do

You can talk to me
Talk to me... talk to me
I can set your secrets free, baby
La, la, la, la...

Though we lay face to face and cheek to cheek
Our voices stray from the common ground where they
Could meet
The walls run high, to veil a swelling tear
Oh, let the walls burn down, set your secrets free
You can break their bounds, cause you're safe with me
You can lose your doubt, cause you'll find no danger
Not here

You can talk to me
Talk to me
You can talk to me
You can set your secrets free, baby

Oh, I can see you running... I can see you running
I can see you running all the way back home
I can see your expression when the phone rings
And I can see that you're thinkin' bout the same things
Is it all that hard
Is it all that tough
Well, you've taken all there is now baby
Isn't that enough
Well, I can see you runnin'... I can see you runnin'
All the way back

Twenty-five years ago today

January 24, 1986
Friday

What can I say about another day at the office? It was my second day showing up for work with an ugly scab on my chin. There were fewer comments regarding it. I announced the winner (Tim Matthews) for the baby picture contest. I—kind of—dressed especially nice so that I’d at least look good everywhere else other than my mid-chin.

Karyn Kossoff came in to the office at around 4:30PM or so. We exchanged a few words.
“Mikee, are you going to the outing tonight?”
I knew she was referring to Ron Shelly’s surprise party for Nancy.
“Probably not,” I answered, acting disappointed.
I simply didn’t want to go because of my facial appearance and my lack of funds.

After work I went straight to my mom’s house and enjoyed dinner with her. We watched a taped episode of “The Young and The Restless”. It was fun spending time with mom and seeing that she was feeling better.

I went home by 8PM. I thought about going to the gym but I didn’t go because I received a depressing note in the mail about a ‘returned check’ to Miller’s Outpost for a mere $11.75. How aggravating! I took care of it immediately. When one debt creeps up after another it is so irritating.

I napped myself to sleep at 8:30PM and was awoken to the shrill of a telephone ring. It was Chad calling me at about 10PM.
“I am going to some Birthday party that some girl invited me to,” Chad announced.
“Oh, okay.”
I’m pretty sure that was all I said.
“The party is near Livermore, so I’ll probably just go home after.”
“Okay,” I replied.
We didn’t talk a lot. I went to bed and was actually glad that he wasn’t coming over. I hate the scab on my chin. I don’t really want him to see me until I am all healed. I still can’t believe I got a wart (and on my chin of all places!).

Greg Manachevitz telephoned, wanting to come over to visit.
“Greg, I’m figuring out my 1985 tax return right now and then I’m hitting the hay.”
“Oh, okay.”
Mike Miller telephoned while I was asleep at midnight.
“Hi,”Mike said.
“Hi, it’s okay that you just woke me up.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Bye.”
Click.

"It is a sad thing to think of, but there is no doubt that genius lasts longer than beauty."
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

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Inner Beauty

It is always wise to periodically take a moment to assess, tote up the score, and then proceed.
-John Katzenbach
"The Analyst"

PHOTO: Michael Armijo, Tony Armijo
and daughter, Lauren--1986

Twenty-five years ago today

January 23, 1986
Thursday

It rained this morning. It was pouring so hard as I drove over the Bay Bridge. In Alameda it wasn’t raining, yet now upon arriving in to The City the sun is suddenly coming out.

Helen invited me to dinner tonight. I intend to be there. It ought to be fun.

I’m just going to hate the people that mention my healing chin today. It’s not like I’m unaware that it’s there. I don’t need to be reminded of it. Oh well…

I hope they offer overtime next week or something.  Maybe I’ll win the Publishers Clearing House. Ha-ha.

I was right.  I got a lot of comments regarding what had happened to my chin.  I tried to shrug it off, knowing full well people were looking at it when I was spoken to.  What the hell—it’s a passing phase.  The accident will clear itself up eventually.  The best thing to remember about it all is that I can go on and ignore a mishap on my face without worrying about what other people think (knowing full well that it’s my inner beauty that people should really like).

There were thirty-six baby pictures received in all.  Most of them were good.  Four employees (Tim Matthew, Diana Brock, Lanie (the order writer clerk) and Susan Bickley) all had thirty-three correct guesses when it came to identifying the baby photos. Personally, I think Lanie should be the winner because I don’t think she really collaborated and compared notes with other employees.

My brother, Tony, joined me in my car after work.  We drove to his pad where we immediately could take in the aroma of the fresh lasagna that Helen was preparing.  I played with Lauren Michael.  She was being such a ‘cutie pie’.  We were waiting for Don Starkey to arrive but he went to some stupid Career Directions Testing seminar which wasn’t over until 7PM.  So we waited and waited (as my stomach growled) for the other guest to finally show up.  It was a fine dinner though.

I drove over to mom and dad’s house, arriving at 9:05PM.  Mom was still sick with her cold.  Her nose was chafed from blowing so much.  I stayed with her for a while and she loaned me a couple of bucks for my parking tomorrow.  I confided with her about how I deposited my full $784 check in the bank to cover all of the checks I had written.  I’ll have to ask Steph to cash the check I wrote to her on February 14th so that my other checks won’t bounce.

PHOTO: Halloween, 1985
Michael J Armijo, Mary McTiernan

While at my place I telephoned Chad, leaving a message on his answering machine. When he called me back I learned that he had stopped at Seven-Eleven for junk food.
“So what do you think about that party next Friday at that new gym in San Francisco?” I asked.
“Which one?”
“You know---the one that Mary McTiernan wants you to go to--. And Ron Shelly’s surprise party for Nancy is tomorrow but I’m not going due to a lack of funds and the scab on my chin!”
“Well that’s okay if you don’t go to that party. I’m invited to another birthday party tomorrow night.”

I closed our conversation soon after, realizing I wouldn’t be seeing him tomorrow.
I did about a half-hour of aerobics and ten minutes of non-stop jump roping. Then it was time to turn in and go under the covers.


I thought about how I don’t really want Chad to see me with this ugly scab on my chin anyway. Maybe I’ll ride my bike all day Saturday.  I know that I want to do more aerobics on Friday night, including go to the gym later in the night when there are fewer folks around.  I feel embarrassed to be seen with my scab on my chin.  I know I shouldn’t, knowing that beauty is skin deep. So hell…


Chad received the card/letter I sent him of the Cadillac Convertible with a relaxing westerner in a desolate desert.  I guess he liked it.
Chad exclaimed, “I re-read it before I went to bed.”
He had also mentioned some test he had in the morning, so I said good-bye and goodnight.

PHOTO: 1986, Ryan Hargrave, Bob Gross, Karyn Kossoff

A kind of neat thing happened today at the office.
Fellow coworker Bob Gross said to me, “Michael, you really look good today.”
Despite the mishap on my chin I felt so appreciative of his words. It made me feel good. That made my day.


Paul Margolis, another coworker, supposedly likes me. This is what Cindy Chow is suggesting because Paul slipped me a BAR Magazine (a gay newspaper supplement). He is so “NMT” (Not My Type).


Margaret Lai guessed my baby picture to be the one that is actually Diana Brock. Ha-ha. Tomorrow I announce the winner of the Office Baby Contest.

I have to remember that when things are worst, there is always something that happens that lifts the heart.
-May Sarton
Journal entry December 6, 1993
"At Eighty-Two, A Journal"

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The Wicked Witch

What treatment in an emergency is administered by ear?
Answer: Words Of Comfort
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 22, 1986
Wednesday

What can I say? At least it was only a half-day of work for me today.  Work is not really as bad as I make it seem.  I am just ready for something new and more challenging.

I am here in my car, waiting for my dentist to return from lunch.

Sometimes I wonder if Chad runts into other fellows throughout his day that tempt him. I wonder if his temptations would lead him on further. When I think about how we met it’s a possibility—I suppose. The day I learn of his ‘acting on temptation’ I will be crushed.  His chapter may come to a close.  The memory of him would live forever for he’s on a pedestal at this point.  I guess I am having these thoughts because I was sort of tempted today—but I immediately thought of Chad.  The thought of him told me, “No way!”

It’s nice and sunny out today.  Come here quickly ‘summer’.

I wonder if I will be getting my tooth bonded today.  What will the cost be?  Will my insurance cover it all?  I wonder what my chin blemish diagnosis will be.  I guess I shall find out soon enough.

I may be able to maneuver two-thousand dollars as a contribution to my Individual Retirement Account for tax year 1985.  I could get two five-hundred dollar cash advances on my VISA and another one-thousand dollar advance on my MASTERCARD.  Things may work out but these major credit cards must get paid off.

I think my insurance will cover all of my dental work.  I have another dental appointment on February 3rd for some composite bonding of my number seven upper tooth which will rid me of that stain that doesn’t go away.

The dermatologist said the thing on my chin was a wart.  I suddenly had visions of the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz.  He treated it with some ‘freeze’ stuff.  And later on this night (10PM) I poked it with a pin and did my own surgery because it looked too puffy and wart-like.  I didn’t feel like appearing at work that way, so now I have a half-sized dime in diameter reddish blemish. That’ll probably turn into a scab and hopefully that wart will then be history (considering I paid the doctor $57.50 for his mediocre treatment).

I went to mom’s house after the doctor and slept off the minor stressors of the day.  I sort of watched PASSION FLOWER, a movie that I had taped for my mom last Sunday.

John came over and we ate a bit. I remained at mom’s house until 7:15PM.  It was around this time that I decided to go to the gym.

I went to my pad to change clothes for the gym when I started to feel depressed.  It’s because I got word from INTERNATIONAL MALE, a direct mail catalog company, that they had received a ‘bad check’ from me for $82.71.  How could that be?  I had received a notice yesterday which showed that they owed me fifty-six dollars.  I immediately wrote another check payable to International Male.  My checkbook balance shows a slight negative balance and I know that my paycheck tomorrow will not be very grand.  This news burdened me.  It made me lose all energy with regard to going to the gym.

PHOTO: International Male Catalog,
Summer 1986

Chad telephoned.
I shared with him the details of my visits to the dentist and doctor.  I didn’t reveal my money problems but I did tell him how I wasn’t in the mood to go to the gym.
Chad comforted me, “It’s okay if you don’t go to the gym. We’re allowed every once in a while.”
“I guess you’re right. I don’t feel so bad now since you approve.”


I went to mom’s house again and mom and I watched some show about “MISSING” people (including missing children).  After that documentary I went home and saw that it was already 10PM.


I thought about doing some aerobics but looking in the mirror at my chin depressed me.  I decided to go to bed for the night.  It’s funny how money and one’s negative appearance can be such a depressant.  At least I am working on both. In the long run things do turn out better, so I should just smile.

I thought about the parting words the dermatologist used today: “Now you can go on with the rest of your day.” Words of comfort.

I've known what LIFE is--always thinking about what everything costs means we've never been free.
-Stefan Zweig
"The Post-Office Girl"

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An Ulterior Motive

I do not rate him very highly. His mental processes seem to me to be too simple. He looks neither to right nor to left, nor into the far distance; he runs around all the time, or rather revolves within his own little circle of thoughts.
-Franz Kafka
"Eleven Sons"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 21, 1986
Tuesday

I made it through some outrageous commute traffic. I managed to have an ‘okay’ day at work. I initiated a couple of telephone calls to Directory Yellow Pages in Los Angeles to learn of the outlook for movement to Advertising Sales. I have not heard any real positive news though. I saw Larry Elkington, our second line manager, and he gave me a dumbfounded smirk. It’s almost as if he has an ulterior motive. Why do I distrust him?

More baby pictures came in by our coworkers. It’s pretty fun to see people when they were babies. I'm having fun posting them up on the board.

I went home and took a nice nap until 7PM. I telephoned Chad at about 7:20PM.
“Would you believe I was just getting in to bed for the night?” Chad asked.
“You must be tired. Well, I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. I’ve set my alarm for four in the morning.”
“That’s early!”
“Yeah, and Larry is being his usual nuisance self. He’s making all sorts of racket.”
I gave him a briefing of my last couple of days and then hung up, allowing him to go to sleep.

I did my aerobics until about 9PM. It was a good full-hour workout. I showered and then received a phone call from Ron Shelly.
Ron said excitedly, “Hey Mike, I just wanted to remind you about this Friday’s Birthday Gala Celebration for Nancy. It’s going to be at HARRINGTON’s.”
“I’d really like to go but I don’t think I can because of some money difficulties.”
I thought about how I don’t care much for Nancy. I don’t even know her very well.

Steph Redding telephoned me again, of course. We talked briefly. I read her some SEX JOKES from a card that I had purchased recently. It made her laugh.
PHOTO: Allison Brown, 1986

I watched the MISS TEEN USA Pageant on TV. While watching I decided to write Chad a card/letter. After I finished writing I went to bed. Miss Teen USA 1986, the fourth Miss Teen USA pageant, was televised live from Daytona Beach, Florida.  At the conclusion of the final competition, Allison Brown of Oklahoma was crowned by outgoing queen Kelly Hu of Hawaii.


Tomorrow is a half-day of work. I have a dentist (1:30PM) appointment and a doctor (2PM) appointment for that annoying blemish.

"I must live my life by what is to be--not by what has been."
-actress Lara Parker as Catherine Harridge,
Dark Shadows, Collection 25

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A Psych Lecture

"Just like everyone else on the planet. There are some things I know and some things you don't."
-as heard while watching the 2010 film,
BURIED

Twenty-five years ago today

January 20, 1986
Monday

I am here at a metered parking space in San Francisco on this early morning once again. I will only end up paying sixty cents—if all goes well—today.

I ought to take some time to write Chad a serious letter. Perhaps I shall do that tonight. I plan on going to mom’s house for dinner tonight since she has Martin Luther King Day off. After dinner I’ll go home to change clothes and run off to hit the gym. I may seriously outline and write-up Chad a meaningful letter this evening. To think I started this journal book ten days after meeting Chad. We’ve come a long way—but there’s more of a journey ahead. We’ve hardly reached the core.

Last night my fortune cookie FORTUNE was ‘Trust Your Feelings’.

Oh yeah! I saw Elizabeth Kools at the Video Store. We caught up on things. She is working in San Francisco now, too. I gave her my business card so we could hopefully meet up sometime. It’s been a long time since our high-school Chemistry class days. She was always the smartest one in Chemistry. Thank goodness I sat next to her. I had a crush on her during those 'in-the-lab' days.

PHOTO: Elizabeth Kools, 1977

I was thinking tonight about how pissed-off Chad was feeling.
I blurted, “Don’t give me a psych lecture!”
“I can’t help it if that’s the way I talk!”
I know I got on the wrong wavelength during that conversation. I truly hate to argue with him. I hope we work to improve our differences together. I forgot to write the ‘special’ letter to him last night. Perhaps I will do it tonight.


I made an appointment with a dermatologist for this Wednesday (after my dentist appointment). I figure I’d best get some medicine for this damn blemish on my chin that’s been there for about two months now. I can’t stand to deal with it anymore.


Dale Orlando asked, “Would you tradeoff your one-hundred and twenty-five dollars worth of travel vouchers for some of my PNS sales points?”
“Why?”
“Well, it’s because I’m going to Florida in two weeks.”
I know he was dying for me to ask where he was going and why. I didn’t question him any further.
Margaret Lai came by, overhearing and asked, “Why Florida?”
I truly didn’t give a shit; however, I am going to do him the favor only because he’s in my Section.
I still consider him a fat, meddling mother f---ker.

It’s the new Federal Holiday today: Martin Luther King’s Birthday. It was a slow work day as there were a lot of businesses that were closed.


The Service Committee got together. Mary and I kicked-off the baby pictures and posted about eighteen photos of our fellow coworkers. We expect to receive more baby pictures throughout the week. Steph, my boss, gave me my copies of my Job Transfer requests. Hurrah! I hope I get out of this office whether it’s in Los Angeles or not. I believe Chad will go with me anyhow. I haven’t heard from him all day—by the way.


After work I had dinner with mom. She had the day off and we watched ‘The Young and The Restless’ together. She got me up-to-date as to what is going on.

While at the gym I saw Mark Landreth but we didn’t talk. Leonard Perillo popped in and we chatted for a little while. I continued with my workout and went back to mom’s house to watch the end of that ‘Bel Air’ TV-movie starring Mark Harmon and Kirstie Alley.


Once home it was time to just hit the sack. I kept thinking the alarm clock was going to ring and it never did. When it finally did ring I didn’t want to wake up. I wanted to return to my dream.

LIFE is like that.  You live it forward, but understand it backward.
-Albert Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

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Plaid Pants

"My motive is the simplest imaginable revenge."
-Stefan Zweig
"The Post-Office Girl"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 19, 1986
Sunday

Chad wanted me to invite Mike Miller over last night. I didn’t want to but I decided to give Mike a call today.

Chad and I went to La Petite Boulangerie this morning. Chad was very quiet and I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that I let him order his own breakfast.
Chad made a snide remark, “You had a three course meal.”
I had a turkey sandwich, coleslaw, water, milk and a chocolate croissant. He was being very ‘hush-hush’. I later learned that he was thinking of going to visit his folks.
“It’s my Dad’s birthday today and I told him that I might stop by,” Chad said.

Whatever the case, Chad decided not to inconvenience me, so he tagged along with Mike Miller and me to the Alameda Flea Market on this shabby, overcast looking Sunday. It was ‘yucky’ at the flea market today. Of course, Chad had to go off and say mean things. I bought a pair of plaid pants that I thought were cool.
Chad said to Mike Miller, “I wouldn’t want to be seen with him wearing those plaid pants. That’s for sure!”
It’s those little things that hurt my feelings. Once again he doesn’t think before he speaks.

Chad and Mike Miller shared a pizza at Round Table Pizza. I was too full to eat pizza. I watched a triathlon competition on TV while at Round Table.
Mike Miller said, “Mike, you don’t look real excited.”
I said, “Oh no, I’m okay. I’m excited.”
Mike Miller’s statement kind of got me because he and Chad were both just as neutral in their demeanor as I was. What was the big deal?


Chad, Mike Miller and I made our next stop at MAGIC VIDEO. I was going to rent the movie LIFEFORCE or BIRDY but both of them were checked-out. Mike Miller chose “BROTHER FROM OUTER SPACE” which was a stupid flick. I’m sorry it was chosen. Mike Miller likes weird things like that sometimes. After watching the movie at my pad I drove Mike home. Chad accompanied us for the ride.


I returned the “BROTHER FROM OUTER SPACE” movie at MAGIC VIDEO immediately. When Chad and I returned to my place we ‘sort of’ hugged after I suggested a walk in the neighborhood. We went to Shoreline Park and walked up this playful tower that I call ‘Skylark 23’. It was kind of cool as we managed to take in the view of San Francisco from this point. It was very nice.


We thought of pizza and settled on Lung Kong for Chinese food. I used my VISA card to pay. It’s okay once-a-month I guess. During our meal I got on Chad’s case.
“I didn’t like that snide remark you made about my plaid pants and other things that you say.”
“Well, I can’t be prissy, prim and proper!”
Chad thought aloud about being an abused child.
Then Chad said, “I don’t know why I like Mike Miller. I figure it’s because I feel sorry for him.”
I wondered if he was testing my jealousy mode. Jealousy does not concern me with Chad.
Suddenly Chad apologized, “I’m sorry about my actions as of late. I do want us to enjoy our time together and NOT start to dislike our times together.”
“I agree.”
We have shared a lot of good experiences thus far.
Chad shrugged. “You do disagree with just about everything I say.”
“That’s not true. If I do—you do the same.”
Chad shut up at this point.

Chad and I were watching CLUB MED while lying on my sofa. I kept thinking what fun a tropical vacation would be.
I recalled overhearing Chad tell Mike Miller, “Yeah, we might go to Florida.”
I hope we do go to Florida.


At 11PM Chad left for Castro Valley.
“I’ll miss you,” Chad said.
“Me too,” I whispered.
I do feel the same way—but somehow I find his absence during the week may be for the best. I need time to think away from him. His rudeness bugs me (especially when he doesn’t realize it). When I try to get even with him I seem like the bad guy. It’s not right for me to throw an arrow after he’s thrown an arrow. For the most part I do think he’s wonderful.


I asked Chad, “If someone came along that you were REALLY attracted to—what would you do?”
“I’d explain that I was seeing someone,” Chad answered, “but if I was REALLY interested I’d discuss it with the one I was seeing and see what transpired from that point.”
All I can say is that I’d be ‘old news’ and strictly friends from that point on.


Chad wants to host his own show someday. I can believe he will be famous one day. Will I be in his thoughts at that time? Only time will tell.


I liked Chad’s fantasy of sneaking into a model home and making it inside one of the bedrooms.
I said, “Hey, like two models in a model.”
Chad laughed.


When Chad left at 11PM I went to bed alone. I felt a sense of loss from this past weekend with Chad. Perhaps next weekend we will revive our relationship. I may try harder. That’s all I can do. I mean…I care a lot. I do love the guy.

True friendship is seen through the heart and not through the eyes.
"Mary and Max", 2009 Australian film

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The Boy In Blue

"Relationships are like bulbs. They're fragile."
-Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps,
2010 film

Twenty-five years ago today

January 18, 1986
Saturday

My one-year Anniversary at the gym is today.

I awoke with Chad beside me this morning.
Chad yawned, “I just remembered that I have to work from eleven until two at some radio station called KEAR on Hegenberger.”
“Oh no…well, I’ll just go for breakfast at my mom and dad’s house during that time. And after that I’ll go cycling.”

I returned home by 3PM which was just about the time that Chad arrived.  We pulled one of our intimate stairwell scenes.

We followed that with getting ready to go out to San Francisco to see a movie. We were going to see THE BOY IN BLUE, starring Nicholas Cage a film about an oarsman canoe racing feat.  It’s based on the life of Ned Hanlan, the late-19th century Canadian sculler and world champion.  Hanlan was one of the first scullers to successfully utilize the "sliding seat. It was an okay movie. We saw it at the GALAXY THEATERS.  I used my free tickets that I happened to win at work (for my ever rising sales results).  It would have normally cost me twelve dollars.

Chad and I thought of going to Ghirardelli Square, PIER 39, the Wharf or the Castro after the movie but we decided against it. Instead we went back to my house and cuddled as we watched excerpts of a flick that Chad had taped.

Chad said, “Oh you know what. I forgot to tell you that Denise Vinsonhaler called you earlier today.”
This reminded me about my earlier call from Mike Miller. Mike had expressed an interest in going to the movies with Chad and I. I didn’t invite him. Mike’s a cool guy. I’ll have to make it up to him. Sometimes he has an aloof, childlike nature that bugs me--in a good way.

Chad and I went to bed and slept rather well.  In the morning we did + + +.

"You're a good man, but you have a secret."
-actress Vilante Placido as CLARA to actor George Clooney
in the 2010 film, "The American"

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A Star Baseball Player

He was a man who had a disapproving manner even when there was nothing to disapprove.
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"


Twenty-five years ago today

January 17, 1986
Friday

It was a wonderful ‘freebie’ day. It’s 6:50AM and it is time for breakfast. Steph Bautista, my boss, has the day off. Cindy Chow has the day off as well. This is kind of a relief to have both Steph and Cindy out of the office for a day. I get tired of their managerial ‘somebody’s watching you’ forces.

My blemish on my chin has revived. I hate it. I’ll have to make a point to see a dermatologist next week.

After work I went home and rapidly changed clothes to go to the gym. I met Chad there and we ‘sort of’ worked out together. I didn’t appreciate Chad telling me about this baseball player.
“Oh Mike, do you see that guy?” Chad asked after I finished twelve repetitions on the bench press.
“Uh, yeah,” I replied as I saw Chad nod in the guy’s direction.
“He goes to Chabot College and he’s a star baseball player.”
“Oh well, so what.”
“Well, I think he’s a perfect ten.”
I grinned, “Whatever!”
I continued with my workout.

Chad and I went to my house after our gym workout. We started to watch some dumb Clint Eastwood and Burt Reynolds flick. We just plain went to bed after that (and then some).

Even when he had been at his most passive, he had really been in charge.
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

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Ready to Claw

Knowledge shall be promoted by, frequent exercise
Art polishes and improves nature
Fortune is a fair but fickle mistrefs
Yesterday misspent can’t be recalled
Vanity makes beauty contemptible
Wisdom is more valuable than riches.
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

Twenty-five years ago today

January 16, 1986
Thursday

I parked my car at a meter for the first time because I ended up getting a twenty-dollar parking ticket yesterday.  I guess one could say I’m experimenting with new parking locales.  It worked out.  I paid eighty-five cents and then at noon I moved my car to the 370 Third Street parking lot.  It only worked out because I started work at 7AM today.  How often will I be doing that?  I wonder.

Work was truly busy.  I took seventy-seven incoming customer calls today!  It’s been one hell of a busy week.  In fact the last two weeks have been extraordinarily busy.

Margaret Lai, Mary McTiernan and I made it to the Pizza Boat for lunch.  It was fun.  I had a spicy meatball sandwich.

Our office was supposed to tally one point per person in sales today to cause 'a tizzy of excitement’ with Larry, our second-line manager.  It didn’t work out too well (mainly because Josh photocopied a dollar bill and put it on each person’s desk).  This act of counterfeiting caused confusion (not to mention the federal offense).  I didn’t know what to make of it.  We all ended up tallying our sales the usual way.

After work (which was at 7PM for me on this evening) I drove home and it was pouring rain.  The traffic conditions didn’t allow me to get home until 7:45PM.

I telephoned Chad and learned that he has an Algebra test tomorrow.  This meant that his visit to the gym tonight was not very likely.   Chad and I have such a good rapport at times.   Yet, once in a while I feel like a ‘black cat’ ready to claw.   He’s insensitive to my feelings sometimes.  Every once in a while he doesn’t think before he speaks.  He more than makes-up for it later.  I must say I’ve learned quite a bit about the Sagittarius man in the last couple of months.

Chad doesn’t want our relationship to end…nor do I.  I feel we are getting closer at times.

PHOTO: Michael Joe Armijo, 1986

While at the gym on this evening Mark Landreth was there when I arrived.  He left before I did.
Mark asked, “How you doing?”
“Tired,” I replied with a smile.
He’s a QBL (Questionable).  I felt I worked out rather well, considering I had not weight-trained since last Monday.


After the gym I went home and wrote $801.00 worth of checks to pay bills.  I hope my overtime pays off.  The paycheck I received on January 23, 1986 compensates for the bills I just paid.  It’s funny how the more money one makes it seems like the less you have.  I heard that on the radio today, too.  Right now I can vouch for that statement. By 1987 that won’t hold true.  I’ll be a ‘saver vs. a spender’. My money management forecast for the future will get increasingly better.


It’s time for a bit of sleep.  It’s true.  I will be at work in San Francisco at 7AM tomorrow…once again.

I squeezed my eyes shut and turned invisible and carried myself to a place where I was completely alone and no one could share my thoughts.
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

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The King of Sheba

“Who do you think I am? The King of Sheba?”
-Joe Nelson Armijo

I am reading the National Bestseller by Abraham Verghese titled CUTTING FOR STONE. In the early pages of the book it is written that one could not accept the bloodlines of the Emperor, extending back to the Queen of Sheba and King Solomon.

The line about the Queen of Sheba made me recall my father, Joe Nelson Armijo. Before dinner in the early 1970's he would sip his favorite glass of red wine and sometimes say, “Who do you think I am? The King of Sheba?”
I had completely forgotten until I read about the Queen of Sheba.

As a kid I didn’t give it much thought. I just thought my dad was getting a little too ‘tipsy’ on the wine. I wondered NOW how he had heard or thought about the King of Sheba.

This encouraged me to research more about the King of Sheba and it seems it is 'King Solomon' who was the King of Sheba. Sheba is identified with Saba, a nation once spanning along the Red Sea, on the coasts of what today are Ethiopia and Yemen. Some modern Arab academics place the queen not in Yemen, as did older Islamic sources, but rather as a ruler of a trading colony in Northwest Arabia.

I’ll keep it relatively brief but here is what I learned about the King/Queen of Sheba:
The Queen of Sheba was a monarch of the ancient kingdom of Sheba and is referred to in Habeshan history, the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament, and the Qur'an. There is no evidence of her existence outside the texts of these four sources. The location of her historical kingdom is believed to be in Ethiopia.

According to the Hebrew Bible, the unnamed queen of the land of Sheba heard of the great wisdom of King Solomon of Israel and journeyed there with gifts of spices, gold, precious stones, and beautiful wood to test him with questions.

It is related further that the queen was awed by Solomon's great wisdom and wealth, and pronounced a blessing on Solomon's God. Solomon reciprocated with gifts and "everything she desired." Solomon offered to give her everything his kingdom had to offer except the "royal bounty." Therefore, according to the Bible, "she turned and went to her country, she and her servants." The queen apparently was quite rich, however, as she brought four and a half tons of gold with her to give to Solomon.

In the biblical passages which refer explicitly to the Queen of Sheba there is no hint of love or sexual attraction between Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. The two are depicted merely as fellow monarchs engaged in the affairs of state.

The biblical text, Song of Solomon (Song of Songs), contains some references, which at various times, have been interpreted as referring to love between Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. The young woman of the Song of Songs, however, continues to deny the romantic advances of her suitor, whom many commentators identify as King Solomon.

The story of the Queen of Sheba acquired special importance and impact in the Ethiopian tradition and history. There she is referred to as Makeda and it is believed that she bore Solomon a son, who was the founder of the Ethiopian royal dynasty of emperors.

Twenty-five years ago today:

January 15, 1986
Wednesday

I arrived at work in San Francisco by 7AM. It was a stressful and busy day. I handled it okay (I think). I would have worked up until 7PM but the pre-planned babysitting appointment for Ashley could not be overlooked.
PHOTO: 1986, Ashley Marie Armijo


Ash was pretty well-behaved all the way around.

Steph Redding phoned me for a quick minute.

Chad telephoned as well.
“Thank you for that letter you sent me.”
“Oh, I’m glad you got it. I had a two-hour talk with Larry…mostly good things.”
I wondered what sort of good things as he did not elaborate.
John and Sherri returned home after seeing the movie “JAGGED EDGE” at about 11:30PM. That’s when I walked my merry way home and went to bed.
I didn’t make it to the gym (or do any aerobics). Tomorrow is make-up day!


“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne

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