-Christopher Bram
"Mapping the Territory"
Twenty-five years ago today:
November 11, 1985
Monday
I know he is reading them. I can feel him turning each page…
I left Chad at my house. I left at 7AM for work. I think he may be reading my journals—but that’s okay. I think? Will it disturb him? I’m scared to know how he’ll react...whatever. His negative attitude towards me will be/shall be his loss. Although I feel Chad and I will be friends for a long time. I believe he feels (and knows) the truth. I’m respectable.
Work was okay. I managed. I ate at McDonald’s and sat in the sun, thinking of none other than ‘CMG’ (Chad Mark Glen).
After work I did my aerobics and then went to my gym. It was a Monday night, so I expected to see Rachelle, Leonard and Chad. No one was there. And yet, Chad did appear a bit later.
Chad asked, “How was your weekend?”
“Oh, real good,” I replied.
“Mine was DYNAMITE!”
His statement meant a lot to me. And the note he left for me when I arrived home meant a lot to me. He wrote: ‘Thanks for the enjoyable weekend. I like being with you.’
I bet he will be surprised when he receives the card (from me) that I mailed to him.
After working out Chad gave me a drink of his Diet-Pepsi. I accompanied him to his house (per his invitation).
“Why don’t you come over to watch ‘An Early Frost’?” Chad asked.
It was some flick! It’s about AIDS, a scary issue and a growing disease that’s common amongst homosexuals.
Larry, Chad’s roommate was there at the house. I think he’s a tad jealous of my new relationship with Chad despite the fact that they are NOT ‘an item’.
I telephoned Chad while at work today. Chad was telling me that I sounded very nonchalant over the phone.
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Well, you said if I don’t see you at the gym tonight I’ll see you another time…as if you meant whenever.”
I smiled and explained, “I didn’t mean to sound that way. I guess I was just testing you.”
I believe I want a special relationship with him. I do. We watched the movie and then I left.
I reminded Chad, “I’ll probably see you at the gym on Wednesday. You know—because I’m taking that brotherly portrait tomorrow night.”
My brothers and I are taking a portrait photo that will be my mother’s Christmas 1985 gift from us. She really wants that.
While at his door I said, “Either way I’ll call you on Tuesday night.”
“I look forward to it.”
What a guy!
Chad’s dad is a psychologist.
Chad and I both drive black sports cars.
Chad and I like to work out and care about our health, well-being and appearance.
Chad likes women—as do I.
Chad is a good-looking guy.
Chad has blond hair and blue eyes and an excellent physique.
Chad gives me a nice feeling inside.
Chad looks at me like he really likes me.
Chad and I are becoming good friends in a physical, mental and possibly emotional sense.
Chad and I are careful and honest.
Chad told me when he went to the gym last Friday he was hoping I’d be there!
I do like Chad. He’s my favorite current event. I hope he’ll be an ongoing editorial who is forever mentioned in this literary guild. Who knows? He may be the best-man at my wedding one day—IF that should ever take place. That is one huge stepping stone. I remember I thought that about someone before (a best-man) but I forget who…maybe Frank Vasconcellos? It’s odd to think that Chad actually knows (or at least recognized) Frank and George from my photographs. I don’t care to really discuss my past affairs with someone I currently like. Time will tell.
Statement: "Your idea of love is sensuality."
Reply: "All love is true in different ways," stated Casanova.
-Heath Ledger as 'Casanova'
2005 Motion-Picture
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