Whispers of Wonder

No one is born a great cook, one learns by doing.
--Julia Child
“My Life in France”

Twenty-five years ago today

November 27, 1985
Wednesday

I had a dream last night that Rachelle Davies came back into my life. We were in bed together. I shuddered at the thought that I could get involved again with this “girl”. It’s true that our sex was always good but our relationship could NOT be built on that alone. Henceforth, I awoke from the dream and it made me wonder how often Rachelle may think of me. I plan to send her a photo Christmas card.

Today, Chad is coming in to The City. It’s good and yet on another pretext it’s rather scary. I mean, he’s going on my Company Christmas Cruise with me. I know there will be ‘whispers of wonder’ about us. It shouldn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter. I guess I just don’t want to see other fellow coworkers ‘oooing and ahhhing’ or asking me questions. Give me a break!

I guess I will start my day now and look forward to 5PM when I will see Chad (my greatest joy this Holiday season).

The Thanksgiving Holiday weekend is over but I shall back track and reminisce now…

Well, on Wednesday my section had another Pac Tel Referral luncheon. It was nice. Judy, the new gal in-training, was there as was Dean.

By 5PM (finally) I walked over to Montgomery and Post Streets, seeing no sign of Chad. As I stood around he showed up, looking as nice as he usually does. We walked over to and through the Sheraton Palace Hotel to a classy phone booth. We looked for an Italian Restaurant and I recommended “A Little Italy” on 24th Street, so that’s where we went. I took a chance and parked in a No Parking zone. I got lucky.

Chad said, “You look a bit older tonight.”
I laughed, “It’s probably because I’m wearing a white shirt and tie.”
He’s so fun.

We went to Sutter’s Mill after dinner. It was a place I’d heard about. It’s a place where gay businessmen gentlemen go after work for Happy Hour to unwind. Chad and I walked to the bar and went in and out relatively quickly. I overheard an older gentleman at the bar ogling over the two of us to a friend.
“Don’t they make such a nice looking couple? It’s always the light with the dark.”
I believe he was referring to Chad as the ‘light’ one and me as the ‘dark’ one. 

We continued the evening by going over to PIER 39. We walked along, looking through many shops here and there. It was fun. I (accidentally) walked out of one store after purchasing tiny bicycle plates with the names CHAD, LAUREN and ASHLEY. Tis the season.

Chad and I spent a good forty-five minutes in a sweatshirt shop. We finally chose solid black sweatshirts with the word CALIFORNIA imprinted on the sleeve. We had them personalized with our first names on the front (MICHAEL, CHAD). We walked around more shops and got some lemonade. Suddenly, it started to rain! We saw an old lady, wearing flood pants. Chad made me laugh.
When Chad felt the rain and the lady in the flood pants he commented, “How did she know?”
It was so funny. We really laughed non-stop about that.

By now we were ready to go back to Alameda. We went to my place. I loved those hugs when we got to my house.

Chad made Marshmallow Krispies in my kitchen while I wrote some postcards for my family for Thanksgiving tomorrow. I wrote Chad a couple of cards, too. He was cooking, so he had no clue. We looked at each other and dwelled over one another. We took deep breaths periodically.

One of my favorite parts of this evening was at PIER 39 when Chad said, “I have something to tell you and you may or may not like it but I am going to tell you anyway.”
“What?”
“I’m at a point now where I feel I am falling in love with you.”
I felt a big smile in my heart.

There need not always be real reasons for such disruptions; in the present unstable state of affairs often a mere nothing, a mood, will turn the scale, and in the same way a mere nothing, a word, can put things right again.
-Franz Kafka
“The Married Couple”