I'm Busy

When a love-relationship is at its height there is no room left for any interest in the environment; a pair of lovers are sufficient to themselves to make them happy.
-Sigmund Freud
"Civilization and its Discontents"

Twenty-five years ago today

November 21, 1985
Thursday

I worked hard today (as usual). I telephoned mom and I learned that she has all of next week scheduled off as vacation time. I also learned that I haven’t paid my Dad the rent for November.

Margaret Lai and I shared lunch together over at the Pizza Boat place. It was nice. She’s such a sweet lady. I showed her my photographs. She liked the same one that Chad and Larry liked, so I guess that’s the one.

Chad made me feel good last night when he said, “I’m going to take my pictures to show my classmates at school.”
I guess he really liked the pictures. My favorites are the ones of him.

I came home and wrote out the twenty dollar check for my parking ticket. I delayed writing it for long enough.

Then, I went to the gym. The cute brunette gal who teaches evening aerobics said, “Hi” to me with the brightest of smiles. I’ve noticed her looking over at me now and again. Hmmm…I wonder?
I worked out fairly well but I feel bad because I have not been doing my aerobics video as much as I want to be doing it. I am just plain not making the time for it.

When I returned home Cedric Green called me. I gave him a few choice words.
I said, “Well, I’m busy on Saturday and Sunday!”
How does one tell a reasonably nice guy that you can’t make time to spend with him? Cedric wants to go out for a simple drink but I’m just not INTO the idea.

Danny Garcia called me also. He’s going to FAT FANNY’s in Danville on Saturday night with his cousin, Tanya.
“I was hoping you’d come with us.”
“Well, I kind of have plans already,” I replied (not mentioning that Chad and I are all INTO spending an outing together).
I’m really not sure what Chad and I will be doing yet.
I finally said, “Okay, Danny…maybe I will go.”

I telephoned Chad but I had to leave an answering machine message via his recorder. He wasn’t home. Oh well…I’ll see him tomorrow night (I guess).

For the first time, I realized almost consciously that I felt something different for him. I had had similar feelings for boys when I was younger but I didn't know what they were. I thought they were just feelings of intense friendship. For the first time, I realized I felt attracted to another boy.
-Marcelo F. Pinto
Dallas, Texas
"Telling Tales Out of School" edited by Kevin Jennings