Smooth Operator

In selfish men caution is as secure an armor for their foes as for themselves.
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl Who Played With Fire"

James Bond approves of “Sade” singing this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tB8EUs5NFLM&feature=related


Twenty-five years ago today:

May 25, 1985
Saturday

I awoke to a sweet phone call from Rachelle Davies on this Saturday morning. She really likes me a lot. I am glad of it. I love her, too. We seem to really love each other. I love her. She makes me feel good. She is a looker and a half as far as I’m concerned. I must be a “smooth operator” per that song to have captured her.

I knew I would not be seeing Rachelle today because I had made previous arrangements for dinner. Tonight is a birthday dinner with Dale, Ryan and Joe (Ryan’s current beau). Joe reminds me of Desi Arnaz Jr. He could easily be a shoe-in lookalike to him.

Mom came over and we cleaned my townhouse together. I put my John Wayne poster up on the wall of my bedroom. I did a little bit of fashionable cloth hanging décor, too.

Dale arrived by 3PM or so with a really nice birthday gift (pants, shirt, tie and socks). They all looked alike. I was thankful and appreciative. I wore the clothes that he gave me for our outing tonight.

Today was a happy day because I received my IRS refund ($ 822.00). Hurrah!

Dale and I finally arrived at Ryan’s apartment in San Francisco. Joe and his mother and sister also joined us for dinner, so it was LESS fun as far as I was concerned. Joe’s family (mother and sister) were visiting from Houston, Texas. I must say they were very nice though.

Ryan surprised me by giving me a pair of bright yellow long-fashionable shorts from NORDSTROM. He is too kind and a ‘real pal’.

After dinner we went to see a play called DANCIN’ IN THE STREETS (or something like that). It was good. We had a really good time watching it. Some of the dancers were in such good shape. It made me want to exercise and workout and immediately “dance”!

After the play we dropped Joe’s family off and we took a few pictures with Joe’s mom’s camera. Then we left. Ryan, Joe, Dale and I all went to the “Renegade Bar”. It was fun. We had a good time and I danced with Ryan and Dale. What a joke. Ryan’s such a nice guy. I like him (and his personality). Just before we left the place some young, drunk chap named Richard was talking to Dale and me. He was a waste case. We went to another bar called “GIRAFFE” until about eight minutes before two o’clock. As we left I noticed Ryan and Joe having an argument about ‘who knows what’. It was probably a jealousy thing as it seems to be a common argumentative topic these days.

Much later, Dale drove me home and he made a point of saying, “I want to come in to get my gear and use the bathroom.”
“Okay but I’m going to bed.” I continued to walk upstairs to my bedroom.

To my amazement Dale followed me upstairs and he started to kneel before me. I went under my covers and he started to talk like a drunkard. I certainly hoped he was drunk.
“I want to give you head, Michael.”
I was just appalled. I adamantly told him, “NO!”
He kept defending himself with the craft.
“Michael, I am really good at it.”
I simply could not and would not let him involve himself in this manner. When he finally realized he was getting nowhere I could tell he felt bad.
Dale suddenly said, “I think I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.”
That pitiful statement made me wonder if it was just a ploy for me to give him the okay for the oral sex. There was still no way. I wouldn’t defy Rachelle. And besides, I would never do anything of the sort with Dale.
Dale left my house and he expressed some shaky words as he was running downstairs that went something like this: “Don’t call me tomorrow because I can’t face you.”
I followed him downstairs and I heard him outside of my front door, crying somewhat loudly. I felt bad, so I opened the door to try to make him understand that we could only be friends. He left abruptly thereafter. I began to wonder if Dale had experienced this sort of thing from his father as a child when he was in bed. He did tell me that his dad had sexually assaulted him as a child. It’s a gross thought. It was a horrible feeling for me to think of it at my current age of twenty-five (I won’t be twenty-six until 11:59PM tomorrow night).

He has certain qualities very largely developed, selfishness, secrecy, and purpose.
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl Who Played With Fire"