"The love in HENRY JAMES's fiction is always problematic, but it's still love."
-Christopher Bram
"Mapping the Territory"
Twenty-five years ago today:
May 15, 1985
Wednesday
Again I arrived to work early. During our first break (Dale and I) had a few nibbles of some of the cafeteria food. Sue Leigh joined us. Sue, Dale and other office peers are banding together against “RD-ing”. “RD” is the Research and Development term used for aspiring Account Executives who want to get promoted and take-on the tasks of the Assistant Managers. They are banding together against it because the special research projects seem pointless as those employees who are “RD-ing” failed the ASR (Account Service Rep) testing. There is no ‘Ready Now’ binder for upgrades to management for them, so why do the “RD-ing”?
At lunchtime Dale and I scouted a Photo Lab because they were giving free photo albums. They ran out of them when we got there at noon. Yet, Margaret and Angela had their lunch at one o’clock and were able to get photo albums for free! Dale called as a very irate customer. And so now we are going to get our free photo albums after all.
I treated Dale to the Pizza Boat lunch place. We returned to work and I was feeling sleepy and overworked.
I telephone mom and learned that she has been taping I LOVE LUCY episodes daily on Channel 2 at nine o’clock in the morning. I had asked her to do so and I was happy. I needed time to laugh and those episodes will help.
I called Rachelle Davies at 2:15PM, feeling sure that she would not be there. She was there! She told me later that evening how happy she was to hear from me. I have been thinking a lot about her. After all, what we shared last Saturday night is a rarity in my book. It was really special to me. To put it plainly…I want more. If it feels good…do it.
After work I went home to gather my gear and went to the gym. Rachelle was there with Bill (her mom’s coworker). He’s the one with the hairy back. He’s pretty nice though.
Rachelle and I worked out together but I didn’t ride the Life Cycle. I was going through a guilt trip for not riding it. We went to Orange Julius and the RECORD FACTORY where I bought her a card. I also bought cards for Dale (for his baby shower) and one for Ryan (with a $20 gift certificate because his apartment burned down). On May 24th, the office is giving Dale a ‘baby shower’. That day will also be my office Birthday celebration.
Rachelle is very touchy-feely. I love when she touches me, especially in the crotch area or the ass. We’re moving along so well, so fast. It’s a bit scary. She does need to grow up a bit. She has to stop slurring her words so quickly. Sometimes I cannot understand her.
We gave a lot of ‘see you later’ kisses at about 8:45PM while in the Nautilus parking lot. I raced home in my car to catch DYNASTY. It was a good episode. Amanda and Prince Michael had a shootout at their wedding after they were pronounced man and wife. Ouch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7KOvzLSFKI&feature=PlayList&p=5458B3E5F0BC05FF&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=2
Dale called me with urgent news. Apparently, Dee left him a note and she left him! Dale was kind of down but he was willing to tell me the whole story.
“Michael, I have to tell you. Dee and I made a tentative arrangement after I broke it off with Kevin in 1983. We made a deal that we’d move-in together in January 1984. We were going to work on having a child because we both wanted one.”
“So that’s what happened!”
“Yeah, and I kept reminding Dee that I was still attracted to men. I made it clear that I would never relinquish this fact. And well…she always seemed to block that out.”
“So what happened?”
“She began to fall in love with me. So I decided to move out until she got pregnant in July 1984. And that’s when I decided to marry Dee in December 1984 for legal reasons. You see, Andrew is the most important person in my life right now.”
“I can understand.”
“And as of lately, Dee is really possessive and wants me around all the time.”
“I can understand that, too,” I said.
“I don’t always call when she wants me to, so it turned into a big fight.”
“So that’s why she moved out?”
“Yeah…we had a big argument with my mother about it. Dee told me not to worry and that she’d cover everything up so the Jones’s wouldn’t whisper about it all.”
“Didn’t that make you feel good?”
“The last thing I’m concerned about is what others think,” Dale said, taking a deep breath.
Dale was so ‘down and out’. We also brushed up on his molestation by his real father at such a young age. I felt bad for him because I can’t imagine how mind-boggling that could be. I think that is most likely why Dale has this recurring nervous stutter.
Dale continued, “Michael, I want to thank you for listening.”
“It’s okay. I have to tell you something, too. I’m not sure about my relationship with Rachelle and where it’s leading. We made love last Saturday night and I didn’t even know that she was only seventeen. She’s so young.”
“I agree that she’s young, but she’s really sweet,” Dale said, reassuringly.
I didn’t expect him to say that.
I kept saying, “Only time will tell.”
I heard her yawn.
“Did you see that movie called ‘Falling In Love’?”
“No.”
“You should see it. It reminds me of us.”
I may go to aerobics class with Rachelle tomorrow night. I could go to aerobics class with Dale and Ryan but I don’t think I will. I may just go home and rest for a change.
I bought mom some powder blue earrings that I will likely drop off tonight.
Dolores Godfrey, my ex-tub mate at work, is going to get fired after eight years of service to the company due to poor attendance patterns. How sad is that?
The company phone bill came yesterday and there were three phone calls to France. If I am confronted at work I shall have to admit to making two or three overseas calls by way of my calling card. If there’s a continuing problem I may have ‘pretend’ poison oak for a week and perhaps go to Palm Springs to recuperate. I will just play it cool and act innocent. It may be Academy-Award nominee time soon.
"I'm eighty years plus. There are things I regret NOT doing and people I regret not fighting more."
-Steig Larsson
"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"
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