-as heard while watching a 2003 Swedish film
called "ONDSKAN" ("Evil")
I was honored to receive a note from a dear friend, Brenda Timmons, along with a poem that was too lovely. I must share it today:
In light of my recent acquisition of your poetry. I thought I would share one of mine. I used to write alot and have even won a contest for a short poem. But I don't share them with many people. This one was written about a year after my husband died.
-Brenda Timmons
Lately Yet Maybe
by Brenda Timmons
Lately I find that happy eludes me.
Yet anger and grief still seem so easy to find.
Maybe I’m just not the seeker I used to be.
Maybe it’s still hidden deep in my mind.
Lately it seems that my friends do not know me.
Yet their faces familiar, still smiling, still kind.
Maybe I no longer hear, or can’t see.
Maybe they feel I have left them behind.
Lately the world feels like it has left me.
Yet I know it’s still spinning, and the sun and moon shine.
Maybe I’m just no longer connected.
Maybe I’ve lost the space that was mine.
Lately I can’t see the road that’s before me.
Yet I move ever forward one step at a time.
Maybe there is some place that I’m heading.
Maybe this hill will be easy to climb.
Lately my feelings have often betrayed me.
Yet my thoughts remain set like a book in it’s bind.
Maybe my heart’s just in need of some mending.
Maybe it needs to be brought back in rhyme.
Lately it seems that I’m waking up slowly.
Yet I set no alarm. And I hear no chime.
Maybe it’s all finally coming together.
Maybe this now is really my time.
Twenty five years ago today:
October 24, 1985
Thursday
I am almost making it through another week. I had a fantastic sales day only because Deborah Neal called me about a sixteen business line PREMIERE 20 order. That pretty much made my day.
Ryan Hargrave joined me for lunch. We ate at Crisps for lunch.
Ryan revealed his latest endeavor.
“Yeah, I’m on some cleansing diet. I can only eat certain things like vegetables, fruits and water. That’s about it…really.”
Ryan and I continued to talk about Europe along with his new apartment at Polk and Washington. He is still locked-in with Joe in the romantic department. We also spoke of Dale. How could we not? We mostly spoke of how Dale is doing. I was surprised what I heard from Ryan.
Ryan disclosed, “Yeah, Dale commended you for laying it on the line with him. He understands now.”
I asked myself the key question, “He does?”
No one really bothered me today (except for a few snobbish customers). Oh yes, Barbara Reynolds—the one who believed I was trying to steal a touchtone line sale from someone—is still lingering on my nerves. I wrote her a nasty note about my NOT appreciating her actions. Then I simply went on about my business.
After my work day I went to the gym and worked out. Bob Maloney was there with some fat girl who apparently is his girlfriend! I was surprised. He looked at me and (as far as I’m concerned) I just know he’s a definitive QBL (Questionable).
Once I made it home I sat with a glass of water and sunflower seeds. Helen called and I felt guilty because I had not called her. I was supposed to visit and see my new niece, Lauren. I didn’t go. Oh well…I talked to Helen for a bit. When I hung up I called Leonard.
I asked Leonard, “So, what are you doing?”
He answered, “Lying down.”
I thought that was an odd answer. Then he continued by saying, “I went to a 7AM aerobics class and I am very sore.”
I laughed and said, “Ah, but that’s a painful but GOOD feeling as far as I’m concerned!”
“I know. I’m intending on making aerobics a three times a week thing.”
Leonard and I kind of firmed up our outing for tomorrow night in San Francisco. We may go out to see the new “Agnes of God” movie. We plan to eat out and possibly stay at the Nob Hill pad that his folks happen to own. I’m game for it. That’ll be fun. I was happy that Leonard sounded less troubled over the phone tonight. I learned that he had gone to Sacramento today with Tiffany and Patrick (two of his employees). It seems the property that they saw was not the greatest.
Leonard said, “I own a lot of apartment buildings. It’s my favorite type of project.”
I guess apartment buildings bring in the dough.
For some reason Leonard said, “I need to make a big purchase soon. There’s an Oakland building that is a likely possibility.”
I thought, “Whatever.”
We didn’t really get into too much business talk but I did remind him of something.
“You know, Leonard, if one simple dream doesn’t work out…just dream another dream, a better dream!”
"Money is always a motive."
-Randall & Hopkirk, British TV series
'When Did You Start To Stop Seeing Things' episode
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