Are You Bi or Straight?

Our landlord is gay, a retired New York City cop who divorced his wife after leaving the force and went at his new life with the fervor of a teenager fresh off the bus.
-Christopher Bram
"Mapping The Territory"


Twenty-five years ago today:

October 31, 1985
Thursday,
HALLOWEEN

I wrote in my journal at my local San Francisco parking lot on this morning like I do any other business day. As I got out of my car I decided to fill my craving for a bagel and juice. There was a guy dressed as a ‘fried egg’ in front of me at the local breakfast place. There were many other funny costumes I noticed roaming the streets of San Francisco on this morning. I didn’t dress up in costume. I wasn’t in the mood.

As the day progressed I received a surprise phone call from George Jones, my ex-flame! I couldn’t believe it.
George said, “Ah, I finally tracked you down!”
I suddenly recalled seeing his friend, Kevin, at the WHAM Concert but I couldn’t believe that George had actually called me at work. I learned from George that he is working at some Collection Agency now that happens to handle Pac Bell delinquent accounts. It was a nice surprise to get his phone call (to tell you the truth).
“We should have dinner some time,” George blurted excitedly.
“Yeah,” I said hesitantly, feeling still somewhat in shock.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
And so, I guess we’ll see how it goes.
PHOTO: George Jones, August 1983

 
I went straight home. It was Halloween night and I suddenly felt like going out. I chose to call Chris Cordellos. He returned my call but his car is defunct. We just talked a while. Then I called Suzy Miller.
“Hi Sue, so how did the horse races go last Saturday?”
“I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
I gave her my new telephone number.
Finally, I called Danny Garcia and Frank Vasconcellos, giving them both my new telephone number also.
 





PHOTO: Cedric Green lookalike
actor, Chiwetel Ejiofor

 Cedric Green called me, trying to verify an outing for Saturday night.
“I’m going to have to cancel out on that, Cedric,” I said firmly (without explaining about my hopeful plans to spend time together with Leonard).
Cedric sort of freaked me out when I cancelled out. He went wild with questions.
“Look Mike, are you bi or straight?”
“What?”
“Look, we’ve known each other a while and it’s no big deal.”
“I don’t see what difference it makes.”
“It doesn’t.”
“Well, if I have to say it I’ll just say I’m straight.”
“I get the impression that you’re worried that I am coming on to you,” Cedric whispered.
I thought silently, “Give me a break!”
I gulped momentarily and said, “Well, I’d heard some rumors from Helen and its all hogwash as far as I’m concerned.  It doesn't matter to me if you are bi-sexual or not.”
I left it at that but Cedric went on by flirting with me.
Cedric continued by saying, “It’s just that special people are hard to find out here and you’re one of them, Michael.”
Still, his sweet talk will never override that initial question he asked of me (Are you bi or straight?). Ugh. I just hate labels.
The subject changed as I mentioned my dream for ‘Michael J Clothiers’. He expressed envy over my aspirations. Yet, while I am still leery of Cedric I do enjoy talking to him.
“Michael, I like that you’re a motivated person.”
“Thank You,” I said, thinking only that I wish I were even more motivated.

I did my aerobics after watching a videotaped version of The Tonight Show. Then I went to bed right after that actual aired show of tonight’s Tonight Show. Pee Wee Herman was on the show tonight and I like watching his comedic ways. 


Men who were "like that" recommended 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' to each other--and even some critics understood what Oscar Wilde's novel was really about, one reviewer claiming the tale would interest only outlawed lords and depraved telegraph boys.
-Christopher Bram
"Mapping The Territory"

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The Friendships We Choose

As so often happens with school buddies, the friendship faded after they had gone their separate ways.
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"

Twenty-five years ago today:

October 30, 1985
Wednesday

It was my last day of PSS Training. I am glad that it’s finally over. It was almost silly. It made my mind drift to my real wants like International Male via ‘Michael J Clothiers’.

During my lunchtime today I went to Emporium and bought Leonard Perillo a sweater, a t-shirt, socks and a scarf. I thought all items would look good on him. When I shall gift the items to him is beyond me.

After work I did my aerobics routine until 7PM. A bit later as I was just about to enter the gym ‘Leonardo’ was walking out.
Leonard smiled and said, “You know I went to the gym just to stop by and see you.”
“Really?” I asked. “Well, I happened to have something for you in my car.”
We went to my car to talk and he really liked his gift.
“I had a great dinner last night with Pat Montandon. Time is of the essence. Her story is something else. You know she arrived in San Francisco thirty years ago with only $40 in her purse. And now she is this rich, elite woman.”
“She sounds like an amazing woman.”
“Yes, I need to plan for the next few years by writing everything down.”
I gave Leonard a peek at my two calendars for 1986 and 1987 that I had just placed in my wallet.
I said, “I felt like I was lagging the last few days but you are so comforting to talk to.”
We continued our nice chat.
“Why don’t you come to my place to watch DYNASTY tonight?” Leonard asked.
And so, I went along.


Leonard and I laid down, relaxing to the DYNASTY episode. I almost stayed the night but decided to go home so that we’d both sleep well through the night. We agreed that we’d perhaps see one another over the weekend when TIME wasn’t such a factor. This means I may be seeing Leonard on Saturday which in turn means ‘Later’ for Cedric and his notion of going out for drinks or dancing..

I cannot wait to hear all about Leonardo’s Friday night dinner in Beverly Hills at the Bob Hope residence. He should have some stories to share.

I think I will give Lorraine Garcia a call only because she’s such a nice person. I like her.

 

Tomorrow is Halloween; however, I plan to stay home, exercise and simply watch television. I don’t really feel like going out at this time. I’d rather “aerobicise” my body. I don’t need the alcohol. My body is willing to improve as am I.

I really believe the friendships we choose are the foundation of our progress. The way Leonard was speaking about his kid brother (age twenty-four) with his drug problem (heroin, no less) I didn’t know exactly what advice to give except that Leonard needs to concentrate on ‘Leonard’. I hope I can be more influential to Leonard now and in the future (and vice-versa for that matter). I believe as a team we may build a bond of beauty in whatever endeavor we decide our relationship to be.


The man who is predominantly erotic will give first preference to his emotional relationships to other people;  the narcissistic man, who inclines to be self-sufficient, will seek his main satisfactions in his internal mental processes; the man of action will never give up the external world on which he can try out his strength.
-Sigmund Freud
"Civilization and its Discontents"

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Waiting and Wondering

A body without bones would be a limp impossible mess, so a day without a steady routine would be disruptive and chaotic.
-May Sarton, July 25, 1993
At Eighty-Two, A Journal

Twenty-five years ago today

October 29, 1985
Tuesday

My phone rang at 6:45AM and the unknown caller simply ‘hung up’. It’s no bigee. That’s expected when you first change your telephone number.

It is Leonard’s Birthday today. I wonder if he received the cookies I sent him. I wonder if I should gift him something else. Maybe I will wait until Christmas.

It feels good to go on with my Monday. I like to just plain play it by ear instead of waiting and wondering about what’s up Leonard’s sleeve—or anyone else’s sleeve for that matter. For things to change one has got to change. I am changing for the better for my own well-being.

I did not feel too productive at work today. It was mainly because half of my day was spent sitting through Larry Elkington’s boring sales skills class.

I did call Leonard and briefly spoke to his brother (I guess).
I said, “Happy Birthday!”
He said, “I’m not Leonard.”
“Oh, well could you give him the message from his friend, Mike?”

At 5:45PM Leonard telephoned me at my house. He sounded ever so calm and seemed happy to be talking to me.
“Thank you so much for the cookies you sent.”
“Oh, I’m glad they arrived.”
“It was funny because you reminded my brother about my Birthday.”
“I guess that’s a good thing.”
“Yes. I will call you in the next couple of days.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
I thought, “It’s a FAT CHANCE that he’ll call me. He’s so damn busy.”
Leonard was going to dinner at his folk’s house tonight. I will try NOT to dwell on his good company and just plain ‘wait it out’ (I guess).

I was recalling one conversation I’d had with Leonard. He was engaged to Laura Shakla, a rich one. They broke it off because she was too dependent on him. Hmm…?

I dream of Michael J of Beverly Hills and my Michael J Magazine. I suppose that’s all it will be though…a dream (?). Time will tell, I suppose.

Leonardo is going to give me the push to quit my current job for greener pastures. I know he will. He’s already hinted. I am scared to leave the security of it all at times. However, I need to take the risk. I wish I could spend more time with Leonard to talk about these things. He’s just so busy and tied up in his own world.

I babysat my niece, Ashley, for a little over an hour last night. Ashley likes my company, so that’s good. It made me feel good. She’s a doll.

I wanted to exercise tonight but Cedric Green called me during the start of my aerobics. He talks up a storm, so I couldn’t get involved with my floor exercises.
Cedric shrugged, “You know, Mike, we ought to go out this Saturday night!”
“I don’t know about that but it sounds like a good idea.”
“Well, think about it. You know it would be fun.”
Cedric wants to go out but I really don’t feel like going out with him.

I wonder how Leonard’s party at Bob Hope’s house will turn out. I wish I could go. I couldn’t resist and pulled-up Leonard’s telephone bill. I saw calls to Pat Montandon, Porsche Audi and his mom in Pleasanton (I guess). There were also some calls to a guy named Matt Baker in Richmond. Who is Matt is beyond me. (?)

Tomorrow I want to use my lunch hour for a visit to Emporium. I want to get Leonard a scarf and sweater (or something like that) for his birthday. He deserves it. After all turning twenty-nine on the 29th is a once-in-a-lifetime event.


Youth is not really innocent because it is too full of curiosity about the mysteries of life with the sexual door usually only half open. Old age is the truly innocent time, I think.
-May Sarton, Auguts 8, 1993
"At Eighty-Two, A Journal"

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Inside Thoughts and Feelings

"Successful people only recognize fear in others."
-The Tudors,
Season 2, Episode 7

It was late April 2010 when a beautiful, middle-aged British woman I know took notice of the current book I happened to be reading. It was titled "At Eighty-Two, A Journal" by May Sarton.
"Michael, why are you reading a book about an eighty-two year old woman?"

I was astounded at her question. I didn't know how on earth to answer her. No one had ever questioned me as to why I would read a particular book in such a tone of ridicule.
Proudly, I realized why I chose the book and said, "I figured if she's eighty-two she must have some wisdom to share that I don't already know about."
"Oh," the British woman replied with a bit of a puzzled look.
Suddenly, I detected a light-bulb had switched on in her head. She never seemed to consider such a thing.

And so, I recently finished May Sarton's journal writings. May reminded me of 'me' because she loved to write and receive letters and carry-on correspondence. May died on July 16, 1995 but a marvelous "1938" portrait of her (at age twenty-six, painted by Polly Starr) hangs in the Fogg Museum in Cambridge, Massachussets.



PHOTO:  Portrait of 'May Sarton'

Twenty-five years ago today:

October 28, 1985
Monday

Daylight savings time is here. How uncanny Leonard’s timing was for two Sundays in a row. Extra sensory perception is something we both tend to carry (I believe).

It’s bagel week for me (for breakfast) as my funds are dwindling…as usual.

Good ole Debra Neal came over to my building to deliver some Laura Todd Cookies for me. She’s semi-attractive. She’s a bit older than I but ‘okay’ nonetheless.

At lunchtime today I was accompanied by Mary McTiernan. We went to some toy shop to find something for her niece. Then we grabbed a bite at WENDY’s. I mentioned Leonard (my new friend at my gym) to Mary and how he has a socialite friend named Pat Montandon.
Mary said, “You know, I’ve heard of that woman!”

Leonard really doesn’t need to impress me any more than he already has. It’s the inside thoughts and feelings that I want to know more about. Yet, as I have learned those are the hardest to reach where he is concerned.

Work sort of dragged-on but when it was over I skedaddled on home, then to the gym. I remained at my 24 Hour Nautilus gym in San Leandro until 8PM or so. I spoke to a few fellow gym members but I spent most of my time ‘working out’. Dave and Buddy gave me their usual tidbit chatter. Some new blond body builder type asked me a question.
“Is it always this crowded?”
“At this time it just depends,” I answered.
This blond guy is likely new. Some cute blond gal exchanged a few commentary lines about one machine being good for working out, calling it ‘the cutting fat on your sides machine’.

Cedric Green called me while at work yesterday. I decided to return his call and voluntarily gave him my new home telephone number.

Leonard didn’t go to the gym tonight. I wonder about him. Well, he is just so busy. That is all that I can come up with.

I wanted to watch Joan Rivers on The Tonight Show but I was too tired to keep my eyes open until 11:30PM, so I went to bed at 9:30PM. Before bedtime I enjoyed a glass of a mixture of orange juice and Hawaiian Punch.


"Life is like riding a bicycle, you need to go forward to keep yourself from falling off."
-Albert Einstein

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Thoughts Aren't Often Revealed

"Peace and quiet is for libraries."
-Bette Davis
"All About Eve", Best Picture of 1950

Twenty-five years ago today:

October 27, 1985
Sunday

I dialed mom’s telephone number, waking her up. Then I went over for breakfast. Sherri brought Ashley over. Sherri left to do some errands. Ashley woke me up with a kiss while I was napping (too cute).

I took Ashley out to South Shore Beach but she wanted me to carry her. Oh well, I did carry her for a while and then we returned to my mom’s house. I watched the 49er game versus the L.A. Rams. I witnessed Ryan Hargrave, Chuck Wong and Cindy Chow and Patrick win $50 each in our office game pool. Sadly, I did not win a cent this time.

I tried to nap again. I was in a purely lazy mood while watching the game.
I thought to myself, “At least I’m not guzzling beer while watching.”

My telephone calls were being forwarded to mom’s phone line today. I only received one call though. It was from Mike Miller. Apparently, Mike has a job now and is very interested in moving-in to my townhouse with Greg Manachevitz, too, of course. There is no way that could happen. My privacy would be gone!

I ended up eating dinner with mom, dad and Sherri. I left right after Sherri and Ashley had left.

When I arrived at my pad I called Leonard but he was too tired to drive again. He had just come from Napa. I bravely made a suggestion.
“Well, I could drive there.”
“That would be fine,” Leonard said.
I ended up getting lost at first.
Once I arrived though, Leonard said, “I’m not feeling well.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s my stomach. I know it’s just from fatigue,” Leonard insisted.
He’s such a difficult one to read. It’s hard to understand what exactly is going on in his head. He even told me once that his ‘thoughts aren’t often revealed’ except to those he really trusts (and they are far and few between). I hope one day he’ll trust me enough.

Leonard and I watched ‘The Playboy Channel’ and ‘Amazing Stories’ (about a mummy) and a Hitchcock Presents episode (about a woman prisoner who tried to escape while being hidden in a casket).

By 9PM Leonard made a polite hint that it was time to go to sleep. I agreed.
Then a moment or two passed and Leonard asked, “Are you staying for the night?”
The blunt question hardly felt like an invitation, so I replied, “No, I’m leaving.”
Leonard continued, “I have dinner engagements Tuesday through Saturday.”
It almost made me feel as though that sentence was another way of telling me ‘I can’t focus all of my time on you’. I don’t know what to make of it.
Surprisingly and suddenly as I was leaving Leonard said, “I’ll call you tomorrow”.
Hesitantly, I said, “Okay, if I don’t see you before October 29th, have a Happy Birthday.”
He made a gesture that I sort of liked (it made me feel like he was saying that I would definitely see him). I simply felt that if he called me we may talk but we may not meet-up. Whatever. Time will tell.

I drove home, wondering why I felt not-so-much like an intruder but just plain ‘unwanted’ (even as a friend) at this time. I guess I can relate because I like my solitary time, too. Leonard wanted peace and quiet.

 
I was home by 9:30PM and I began watching a movie about a fifteen year old girl who was raped by a security guard. I was just about to turn the show off when Leonardo called.
“I just wanted to call to see that you got home all right.”
“Oh Thanks, yes, I am here,” I replied happily.
I also got the feeling that he may have called to see whether or not I went straight home. Can he be trusted? I wonder if he had any new and interesting conversations during his Napa Valley Wedding and helium balloon rides today. I don’t know what to make of it—just yet.


"One's own soul, and the passion of one's friends--those were the fascinating things in life."
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

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Love on the Run

“Life appears like a long shipwreck of which the debris are friendship, glory and love, the shores of existence are strewn with them.”
-Madame de Stael

Twenty-five years ago today:

October 26, 1985
Saturday

I woke up before Leonard did. Leonard is such a dead head in the morning. He’s rather spoiled I hate to say. If it’s not his way, then he’ll just forget it—or at least try to. That bugs me. And of course, Leonard acts like he’s never wrong--but most of the time, I must admit, he isn’t. I do disagree with him at times over trivial things.

We ate breakfast at ‘The Patio’ (the place we had intended to dine at last night). It was okay. Leonard drove me home after that and he left. That was that.

I did my aerobics via my tape for an hour and a half. I went jogging to the end of the South Shore beach, too. I got blisters on my toes. Ouch!

I went to mom’s house for her camera and took a drive to see Helen and Lauren. I ended up falling asleep to the Nature Show on PBS as my brother, Tony, arrived. I took my Bud’s Ice-Cream and left soon after.

I stopped by mom’s house again but she and pops weren’t home. I ate there and watched a move called “Love on the Run” starring Stephanie Zimbalist. Mom and Dad arrived while I was watching the movie. It was a pretty good movie, too.  It was about a criminal lawyer (Stephanie Zimbalist) who goes on the run with her new lover (actor, Alec Baldwin), a convict she had as a client and whom she helped escape from prison.   After the film it was time to head home and ‘hit the hay’.
Photo: Stephanie Zimbalist

I thought of going to Baxter’s in Concord since it was a Saturday night but my funds are too low for going ahead with that idea. Good night.


No artist desires to prove anything.
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

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Side-Tracked

"In fact, it's hard to write truthfully about gay life, or straight life for that matter, without getting into sex."
-Christopher Bram
"Mapping The Territory"

Twenty five years ago today:

October 25, 1985
Friday

Well, Leonard Perillo’s new telephone number is now 415-537-0555 and it is in good working order. He seems pretty happy about the ideal number. I am happy he’s happy.

I received a few ‘what’s on your agenda’ questions today just because I wore my three-piece suit (blue) to work today. Many seemed to think I had an ulterior career motive.

At lunch I ate a submarine sandwich and a salad in the smoking lounge with Karyn Kossoff and Bob Gross. Karyn was sharing the scoop about her recent jury duty case. The case was against the Southern Pacific Railroad who had been slapped a lawsuit by a wife whose husband was killed by jumping to and from another boxcar lane while taking pictures for the Oakland Tribune. The wife didn’t get anything as she tried to build-up a case with her attorneys (based on negligence).

The Oakland-Bay Bridge was closed and way backed-up, so I took the 101 to San Mateo to Highway 92 and on through the San Mateo Bridge via Hayward and then on home to Alameda. It was a roundabout alternative but I was home by 6:40PM.

Leonard arrived at my place by 7PM.
Leonard offered his two-cents on driving alternatives by saying, “You know, you could’ve taken the Golden Gate and then side-tracked through the San Rafael Bridge to Richmond and on to Highway 17.”
I didn’t argue but I don’t know if that route would’ve been longer or shorter. Either way, I got home.

 
Leonard and I left in his weekend car (the baby blue Porsche), heading out to The City. We couldn’t find a parking space by ‘The Patio’ (where we’d planned to eat); whereby, we ate at ‘The Mesquite Grille’ on Market Street. We shared a bottle of wine though I believe I drank most of it. 

We proceeded to go to his folks’ posh condo up at Nob Hill in the GC Building. Then we went to QT’s on Polk Street for a drink, hanging out there for a bit. The décor was unique with mirrors and modern flare. We stopped for snacks at SAFEWAY and headed back to the Nob Hill condo. It was pretty fun. I was kind of restless again as we slept. I asked myself: What’s in store for us when we wake up in 'The City' in the morning?


March 16, 1994
A best-seller seems to be, at least in the ones that I have read recently, and I have read quite a few, is sex, there has to be explicit sex, there have to be sexual scenes; this is what readers must have.
-May Sarton
"At Eighty-Two, A Journal"

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A Better Dream

"I just wanted to say, you're my friend."
-as heard while watching a 2003 Swedish film
called "ONDSKAN" ("Evil")

I was honored to receive a note from a dear friend, Brenda Timmons, along with a poem that was too lovely. I must share it today:

In light of my recent acquisition of your poetry. I thought I would share one of mine. I used to write alot and have even won a contest for a short poem. But I don't share them with many people. This one was written about a year after my husband died.
-Brenda Timmons


Lately Yet Maybe
by Brenda Timmons

Lately I find that happy eludes me.
Yet anger and grief still seem so easy to find.
Maybe I’m just not the seeker I used to be.
Maybe it’s still hidden deep in my mind.

Lately it seems that my friends do not know me.
Yet their faces familiar, still smiling, still kind.
Maybe I no longer hear, or can’t see.
Maybe they feel I have left them behind.


Lately the world feels like it has left me.
Yet I know it’s still spinning, and the sun and moon shine.
Maybe I’m just no longer connected.
Maybe I’ve lost the space that was mine.

Lately I can’t see the road that’s before me.
Yet I move ever forward one step at a time.
Maybe there is some place that I’m heading.
Maybe this hill will be easy to climb.

Lately my feelings have often betrayed me.
Yet my thoughts remain set like a book in it’s bind.
Maybe my heart’s just in need of some mending.
Maybe it needs to be brought back in rhyme.

Lately it seems that I’m waking up slowly.
Yet I set no alarm. And I hear no chime.
Maybe it’s all finally coming together.
Maybe this now is really my time.


Twenty five years ago today:

October 24, 1985
Thursday

I am almost making it through another week. I had a fantastic sales day only because Deborah Neal called me about a sixteen business line PREMIERE 20 order. That pretty much made my day.

Ryan Hargrave joined me for lunch. We ate at Crisps for lunch.
Ryan revealed his latest endeavor.
“Yeah, I’m on some cleansing diet. I can only eat certain things like vegetables, fruits and water. That’s about it…really.”
Ryan and I continued to talk about Europe along with his new apartment at Polk and Washington. He is still locked-in with Joe in the romantic department. We also spoke of Dale. How could we not? We mostly spoke of how Dale is doing. I was surprised what I heard from Ryan.
Ryan disclosed, “Yeah, Dale commended you for laying it on the line with him. He understands now.”
I asked myself the key question, “He does?”

No one really bothered me today (except for a few snobbish customers). Oh yes, Barbara Reynolds—the one who believed I was trying to steal a touchtone line sale from someone—is still lingering on my nerves. I wrote her a nasty note about my NOT appreciating her actions. Then I simply went on about my business.

After my work day I went to the gym and worked out. Bob Maloney was there with some fat girl who apparently is his girlfriend! I was surprised. He looked at me and (as far as I’m concerned) I just know he’s a definitive QBL (Questionable).

Once I made it home I sat with a glass of water and sunflower seeds. Helen called and I felt guilty because I had not called her. I was supposed to visit and see my new niece, Lauren. I didn’t go. Oh well…I talked to Helen for a bit. When I hung up I called Leonard.
I asked Leonard, “So, what are you doing?”
He answered, “Lying down.”
I thought that was an odd answer. Then he continued by saying, “I went to a 7AM aerobics class and I am very sore.”
I laughed and said, “Ah, but that’s a painful but GOOD feeling as far as I’m concerned!”
“I know. I’m intending on making aerobics a three times a week thing.”
Leonard and I kind of firmed up our outing for tomorrow night in San Francisco. We may go out to see the new “Agnes of God” movie. We plan to eat out and possibly stay at the Nob Hill pad that his folks happen to own. I’m game for it. That’ll be fun. I was happy that Leonard sounded less troubled over the phone tonight. I learned that he had gone to Sacramento today with Tiffany and Patrick (two of his employees). It seems the property that they saw was not the greatest.

 
Leonard said, “I own a lot of apartment buildings. It’s my favorite type of project.”
I guess apartment buildings bring in the dough.
For some reason Leonard said, “I need to make a big purchase soon. There’s an Oakland building that is a likely possibility.”
I thought, “Whatever.”
We didn’t really get into too much business talk but I did remind him of something.
“You know, Leonard, if one simple dream doesn’t work out…just dream another dream, a better dream!”


"Money is always a motive."
-Randall & Hopkirk, British TV series
'When Did You Start To Stop Seeing Things' episode

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Eye-Stoppers

"Do you have genuine style?"
-Kristin Scott Thomas
"Conffessions of a Shopaholic", 2009 film

These ATTORNEY and WITNESS lines are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people actually said in court, word for word.

Thank you, my dear friend, Sandra Taylor-Edwards, who sent me these Attorney/Witness lines. I had to share. The dialogue was taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, "isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year- old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about 20, medium height, and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
______________________________ _______
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
__

_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And, Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No .
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Twenty five years ago today:

October 23, 1985
Wednesday

I telephoned Helen and Sherri and updated them with my new telephone number: 522-1986.
Mike Miller happened to call, so I gave him the number as well. Also, mom and Leonard have the new number along with Margaret Lai.

When I called Helen she asked, “Why don’t you come by this Thursday night after the gym? Lauren has already grown and she’s smiling, too!”
I laughed, “In just a few days she’s already smiling…yeah, right!”
“It’s true.”
“Okay, I might stop by.”

I did speak to Shirley Hastings on the commuter bus to The City for a while this morning. She has gained weight and now lives in Dublin, CA. I was surprised by her ‘Bride of Frankenstein’ haircut. 

There is the dinner tonight and then the Steinhart Aquarium outing. It should all be fun. It’s a free meal, too. Yummy.

I spent break time with Margaret Lai and she mentioned something interesting in-between conversations.
“Oh Michael, to see you and your ex…Rachelle…walk into a room, well you’re like eye-stoppers!”
I laughed, “Well, that’s a compliment and a half…but she’s long gone now.”
I began to wonder if she would ever try to call me, getting my disconnect recording. Ha-ha.

The dinner at La Paz wasn’t so filling but I had a good time. I happened to be seated next to Margaret Lai and Laverne Butler. The Steinhart Aquarium visit was educational and most interesting. I saw another part of the world in terms of sea life, etcetera.

My boss, Stephanie, told me that she was ordering a special Savings Bond on my behalf for my perfect attendance. That’s a nice treat.

I arrived home at 10:30PM exhausted. I went straight to bed. 


"We are not what we know but what we are willing to learn."
--Mary Catherine Bateson

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All Gung-Ho

"What a cynical little twist of the knob on fate's machine."
-Julia Child
"My Life In France"

Twenty five years ago today:

October 22, 1985
Tuesday

I woke up at 5:40AM and left Leonardo. I arrived at my house at 6AM and went back to bed for a brief thirty minutes. I got up at 6:30AM and left for work at 7AM. And now ‘here I am’ at my San Francisco parking lot. Another day, another dollar. I wish it were another ‘hundred dollars’

Yesterday I had a meeting with Dale and Ryan about our office Halloween festivities. What a drag. I don’t really think I want to get all dressed up for Halloween.

I tried to look up Karen Melton but I had no luck. She has my address, so if she wants to she will get in touch with me (I guess).

I looked up Leonard’s business account today. It is called OLLIREP Properties (OLLIREP is Leonard’s surname, PERILLO, spelled backwards). He has a good account.

Steph called in sick today. She’s going through a divorce right now. She is troubled. I can easily tell.

Work was okay. At least I didn’t have to go through the dull Larry Elkington class today. I’m so happy it was canceled.

It was busy. I worked hard.

I telephoned Leonard this afternoon to see how he was holding up.
“I’m tired, too,” Leonard confessed.
“You should be.”
“Can you call me later?”
“Okay.”

I went home and watched a little TV. I ate sunflower seeds (after taking a nap until 7:30PM). I telephoned Leonard and learned that he had not slept.
“I’m lounging now with a movie,” Leonard said.
“What are you watching?”
“It’s called SHIPWRECKED, it’s on HBO.”
He really sounded bummed out because of some lawsuit between him and his ex-partner. He let on that they’d had all of these plans, etc. Whatever. That’s too bad (I guess).
I pointedly said, “Life goes on.”
He replied, “I do like what I do with my work at OLLIREP.”
I thought he still sounded bummed out, so I began to wonder if he really, really liked what he does. Perhaps he does like it but I feel he needs something else, too. 

 We closed our conversation but we now have committed to both leaving our Friday’s open for one another to see a flick or something. Leonard received the card I mailed him today. He was pleased. He liked it. I am going to hang out on the sidelines for a while and see what happens. I don’t want him to know I’m all gung-ho over him (even if I am). Ha-ha.

Dale Orlando has been Mr. Nice Guy lately. He has been smiling at me from his car as we both happened to get to the freeway entrance at the very same time (after work). He’s funny. I just need to remember that I’ve learned my lesson about him.

I went to bed after a half hour session of Beginners aerobics.

"I should say that kindliness, and sincerity, and if I may say so--modesty--are worth far more to a man than all the wit and beauty in the world."
-Daphne du Maurier
"Rebecca"

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"Leonardo"

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
-Leonardo da Vinci

Twenty five years ago today:

October 21, 1985
Monday

I am glad that Leonard is back. My illustrious, influential friend who has the ability to build up my confidence. I love that in a friend. I like “Leonardo” a lot. Time will tell. I need to get to know him better.

Hurrah! Larry Elkington’s Sales Training class was cancelled tomorrow.

The great news was that I won the 50/50 Raffle today. I pocketed $106.00. It couldn’t have come at a more convenient time. I was happy.

Tony came into our office. He looked like Clark Kent with his hard rimmed eyeglasses.
Cindy Chow and Carl Brooks both whispered to me, “You’re cuter.”
That was nice of them. They don’t know that Tony was ‘the eye’ amongst many of the gals during high school. He’s got potential but maybe he doesn’t quite have that GQ touch (as Steph puts it). Ha-ha.

Work was okay. I got five PREMIERE lines sold, too.

After the triumphs of my day at the office I telephoned Leonard, leaving a message with his housekeeper.
When I telephoned a second time I was able to reach him.
Leonard exclaimed, “Hey, I’ll meet you at the gym at seven-thirty.”
I rushed home and made it to the gym at the designated time. I happened to see Rachelle there with her geeky blond girlfriend.
“Hey Rachelle, Helen had the baby.”
“Oh, how nice.”
At that good mood moment I reminded her about my chess pieces that she had not returned to me.
She shrugged a minor reply, “Oh, okay.”
I think I’ll never get those chess pieces back.

Later, I took off with Leonard in his red BMW. We ate at the Red Robin. It was nice to eat with him and just plain see him again. I don’t know how many times I told him the same line:
“I’m so glad you’re back.”

I did change my telephone number. My new number will be 522-1986 effective Wednesday. I’ve only given the new number to Leonard so far. After our meal I followed Leonard to his place in the Hayward Hills. I spent the night.


A well-spent day brings happy sleep.
-Leonardo da Vinci

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I Would Wander

"You keep telling yourself what you know but what do you believe?"
-Marion Cotillard
as heard in the 2010 film, INCEPTION

Twenty five years ago today:

October 20, 1985
Sunday

I washed my car. I went to mom’s house for breakfast, too. It was a perfect Sunday for watching the 49er game.

I almost forgot to write about yesterday, October 19th. Suzy Miller, my niece, Ashley and I went to Ole’s Waffle Shop on Park Street for breakfast. That was really a fun outing.

After the 49er game (1PM) I went home to bathe and nap. It was a lazy Sunday. I was ready for relaxing on what was a very gloomy autumn, cloudy day. By 4PM I went to mom’s house again for dinner. I hung out there until close to nine o’clock. I got restless and simply went home.

My telephone rang at about 9:30PM. I thought it was Mr. Creepshow again from last night. As it turned out it was “Leonardo”.
“Hey Mike, I covered a lot of ground in a short-period of time.”
“Wow, that’s great,” I said as I’m sure my smiles could be felt via the communication wires.
“We’re ready to come back,” Leonard announced.
I knew Leonard would never admit to being homesick. I don’t think he would.
“Well, it will be good to have you back.”
“Yeah, well do you think you can give me a call tomorrow…day?”
“Sure, I will.”

MAD MAX was on television but I decided to hit the hay after watching the first ten minutes.

My brother, Tony, will be showing up at my office tomorrow. Hmmm…lucky him or shall I say not-so-lucky? Well, it is lucky for him to no longer be in Residence Marketing anymore.


For sometimes I could not sleep, and getting softly out of bed in the quiet night I would wander to the window, and lean there, my arms upon the sill, and the air would be very peaceful, very still.
-Daphne du Maurier
"Rebecca"

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Are You Seducible?

My thought process became disjointed.
-Yann Martel
"The Life of Pi"

Twenty five years ago today:

October 19, 1985
Saturday

Mom was going to ask me to take her to San Jose to Dolores Vigil’s baby shower but ‘Thank God’ she got Dad to accompany her.

Sherri and I went to Kaiser Hospital together to see Helen and Baby Lauren. Lauren looked so tiny but we could foresee a ‘real cutie’ there.

On the way home I got a traffic ticket for not coming to a full stop at a STOP sign. It bummed me out but we have to take the GOOD with the BAD. Lucky for me I have fewer mishaps and more happy times.

I went home to nap until 5PM. I dropped over at mom’s house to watch TV. Ma and pa didn’t get home until about 7PM from their San Jose party. I persuaded them to go to see Helen and the baby. They were excited about their second grandchild (a second granddaughter). I went along with them. When we returned at about 9:30PM we watched a little more television. I was home very soon afterwards.

 Some weirdo called me at 11PM, asking for Dale!
He said, “I was given this telephone number from a friend in Berkeley.”
We started to have a conversation and he seemed friendly enough.
He went on to say, “I have some wine.”
“You should come over,” I suggested foolishly.
When he came over to my house I looked through the peephole of my door and decided NOT to open the door. He left the house and called me again! I pretended that I hadn’t heard the knocking or doorbell from upstairs.

It kind of pissed me off. He came over again and this time I answered the door.
We had some small time talk when he suddenly asked, “Are you seducible?”
“You know, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
He left. I mean, give me a break. Gross. It means that I am definitely changing my telephone number. I hope 521-1111 is still available.


A person's personality and skills do not reside only in the brain, although that is their principal location.
-Ray Kuerzweil
"The Singularity Is Near"

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'Lauren Michael'

I have within me a mirror...
Entering thus into the consciousness of others I am able to divine both the future and the past.
-Honroe de Balzac
"Seraphita"

Twenty five years ago today:

October 18, 1985
Friday

I have a recurring sore (or a pimple) on my chin. I hate it. I have the sniffles, too. I hate that. I’d best not be coming down with the flu! 

I have a load of Gourmet Vanilla ice-cream in the trunk of my car that I need to deliver upstairs (to the freezer in our office lounge).  After that delivery I plan on having a healthy breakfast.

The Root-Beer Float Day at the office appeared to be a success (I guess).   I wasn’t too involved during the peak period because I was upstairs, enduring the Larry Elkington PSS (Positive Sales Skills) Training Class.

I received word that Helen, my sister-in-law, was in labor today.  She had a baby girl named “Lauren Michael Armijo” at 2:10PM today. I am an uncle once again.   Lucky me!

I unwound and stretched once I arrived home from work. Then I went to the gym for a workout.  I actually went in to the sauna today (for a change of pace).   It felt good.   I went home thereafter and finished watching “The Mysterious Stranger” movie.

I followed 'The Mysterious Stranger' movie with an episode of “Falcon Crest” and went to bed. I know I was dreaming again.
PHOTO: Cast of "Falcon Crest"

Dreams were important, unconcious riddles that mirrored the heart.
-John Katzenbach
"The Analyst"

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Gourmet Vanilla

"...I am not like you. I don't feel the need to go out all the time and have a say in every conversation."
-Shyam Selvadurai
"Cinnamon Gardens", a novel

Twenty five years ago today:

October 17, 1985
Thursday

My Continuation Sale Training class conducted by Larry Elkington was cancelled today because he wasn’t in the office today. This was good news (to say the least).

I spoke to Mary McTiernan about the ice-cream purchase problem. She agrees that I should get the cheapest ice-cream.
“After all, it’s only vanilla,” I said with laughter.
And so, I purchased six and a half gallons of SAFEWAY Gourmet Vanilla ice-cream.

Our office had a joint pot-luck luncheon today. I ate privately at my desk. Then I went to the post-office to mail the letter that I had written to Paloma: destination Paris.

I received my check. It was a measly $807.00. It wasn’t too impressive, considering my current checking account balance of $811.00. That’s okay. It helps.

After work I felt just plum lazy, so I went home and simply read my mail. I ended up sleeping until eight-thirty when I was awakened by the doorbell ringing. It was some guy who was petitioning complaints about the Homeowners Association dues on behalf of the Islandia Townhome owners.

I was eating some almonds and juice when I decided to call Mary McTiernan.
“Hi Mary, do you think you can bring an ice-cream scooper to work tomorrow for the ‘Root Beer’ float day?”
“Sure.”
“Good because two is better than one.”

I started to watch my taped movie called ‘The Mysterious Stranger’.

It was bedtime. I went to bed and I’m afraid I didn’t exercise at all.


"The assumption appeared to be that the world could be sufficiently understood through fictions, histories, and biographies."
-Ian McEwan
"Enduring Love"

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Turquoise Tights

"He obsessed with the way people talk...
almost more than by what they actually say."
-"The Philanthropist"
On-Broadway NYC Show, Roundabout Theater

Twenty five years ago today:

October 16, 1985
Wednesday

It is “DYNASTY” night but the only thing is that I intend on going to the gym.

There are six more days until Leonard returns.

I wonder if Karen Melton has returned from her ‘Ice-Capades’ Korean excursion. I ought to call Paradise Productions in New York or (at least) look her up in the Livermore-Pleasanton telephone directory.

I have some stupid SALES Continuation Training class set for the next three days that will be conducted by our ‘dipshit’ second line manager, Larry Elkington.

The class given by Larry was really kind of dull. It is really a basic review of general sales skills. It’s like ‘give me a break’.

At lunch Margaret Lai accompanied me to eat at the corner restaurant at 2nd and Howard Streets. She’s griping again about Stephanie (oops, I mean she’s griping about Cindy Chow, of course).

After work I went straight home and read a very neat letter from Paloma. It made me feel good.

Then I got set and went to the gym. I saw Rachelle there. She was in line for an aerobics class. Her hair didn’t look too good.
“I’ve been coming to the gym almost daily.”
“That’s great,” I said, but we didn’t really say a lot to one another.
“I’ve been running,” Rachelle said.

As I was working out Russ came in and we talked for a while. He hasn’t asked if my place is still available for rent or anything. I figured I informed him once. There’s no point in pushing it. I like Russ.
Russ commented, “Hey, you’re sweating a lot.”
“Yeah, that LifeCycle does it to me every time.”
“I’m going to do my usual aerobics class,” he said.
I thought his turquoise blue tights were quite tight. I don’t think he had underwear because you could see his crack and contour. I don’t think I’d ever wear them.

I’ve been trying to call that stupid Video Concepts place but I have had no luck yet.

I want to get Leonard something for his birthday which falls on October 29th. I am just not sure what to get him.

After the gym I arrived home and found myself speaking to my sister-in-law, Helen, for a while.
“We’re going to name the baby Lauren Michael.”
Tony was not at home but he had called me about the ice-cream deal I had inquired about. He was going to sell me a tub of Bud’s Ice-Cream for thirty-six dollars (when I can actually get six and a half gallons of DREYER’s ice-cream for only twenty-four dollars). I don’t think I’ll be buying Bud’s because we’re out to make a quick profit right now (for our Business Office). It wouldn’t be cost-effective to go with the Bud’s (to tell the truth).

It's never too late to recapture who you were or aim to who you want to be.
-KYLE-XY, Season II

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A Stressful Day Turned Happy

"Are you a bee? Do you like to sting people?"
-Josh Brolin
"Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps", 2010 Film

Twenty five years ago today:

October 15, 1985
Tuesday

It was a stressful day.

First off, Barbara Reynolds came up to me with the fact that I had changed sales codes on one of Jim Padilla’s orders. It’s all B.S. (bullshit) as far as I’m concerned. I would not do that.

And then, when I arrived home I found a Video Concepts invoice in my mailbox for $1700. That bitch, Diane, apparently sent my contract through to pay-in-full without my signing it. What should I do in a case like that? Just let it go, pay it OR be honest and report her and try to get away with a free TV while I'm at it.  Ah hell, honesty is the best policy.   I’ll just pay it all.

Those were two stressful points of my day. It’s just too bad that I laid all of my concentration on the negative when there were some good things that did happen today. I did receive a postcard from Germany from Leonard Perillo. I received a letter from Steffanie. I did my aerobics and had a decent gym workout. I sold four PREMIERE lines, one WATS sale, one RCF and had one PacTel Referral. It was a fairly good sales day overall. There was a lot of good that happened today. I could just as well say it was a good day. I just made it stressful for myself.

I am beginning to hate my current job a bit. I want more. I wonder if Leonard can help build my confidence some more. I wish he’d come back.

I went to mom’s house after the gym for my orange juice craving.   Before I knew it I was home, in bed and asleep.


"It's like the first grade, no one likes a crybaby."
-Michael Douglas
"Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps", 2010 Film

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Heavenly Sent

“What’s with the attitude?  It’s like working with a hostile mute.”
--KYLE-XY, Season I

Twenty five years ago today:

October 14, 1985
Monday

Margaret Lai moved to Hal’s desk today to get away from Cindy Chow. Lucky for me, Dale was not in the office today (not that it matters since we don’t relate anymore).

I telephoned Lorraine Garcia and we had a nice talk.
“I wanted to thank you so much for that card you sent me.”
“It was funny, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said, and pretty much left it at that.
“Are you ever going to tell me what Leonard said to you?”
“Oh, it’s not important.”
She kept trying to find out what Leonard may have said to me.
Lorraine went on by saying, “I don’t trust him because one day he was listening to me and Diana talk about you.”
“Oh well, Leonard never mentioned what you were all discussing.”
I find it funny though how Leonard and I are becoming such good friends.

The day was stressful when I learned of a duplicate WATS order that Debra Neal (a customer) ordered from me. The order was also taken by Rich Fashbinder who had been following-up on it. Oh well...I lost that sale after my initial work on it.

When I arrived home I found mom there, ironing my clothes. She’s ‘heavenly sent’.   I love her.   We went out to eat at the local SIZZLER (which blew my original aerobics and gym-visit plans).  After the meal we went to my house.

I did end up doing a little of my aerobics tape (but not all of it). I promise I will make up for it tomorrow.

I joined mom at her house and watched a flick that I couldn’t seem to get in to, so I drank some orange juice and left. I was going to watch a Documentary on ‘the brain’ but I fell asleep instead. My brain needed rest.

I think I did okay with my exercises today (especially after seeing all of those fat people at the SIZZLER). I should not feel so bad. I just don’t feel A-1 (up to par).

My brother, Tony, telephoned me at work today.
“I’m going to be at your office on Monday.”
I was not really thrilled about it but time will tell.   I’ll just have to see what career propositions may (or may not) come up for me.

I keep fantasizing about my three Men’s Clothier shops MICHAEL J of NY, SF, and Beverly Hills.   I mustn’t forget about my MICHAEL J Magazine (when/if/how and ‘with what money’?).  If only I win the California State Lottery. Ha-ha. Perhaps Leonard can help me out or at least provide some complimentary consulting.   He’s got a million brainstorm ideas (or so he makes it seem).   I am tempted to learn more about him but I don’t want him to get the impression that I am using him for monetary reasons.   I mean, it doesn’t really matter whether he’s got a dime or not. It’s the quality of the individual that’s key…never the quantity.


"I'm fascinated by words."
-as heard while watching the Broadway
production of 'The Philanthropist"
at the Roundabout Theater, NYC

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The Postman Always Rings Twice

"It has to be a secret."
"Is that lying?"
"How could it be lying if we're not saying it?"
-KYLE-XY, Season I

Twenty five years ago today:

October 13, 1985
Sunday

I thought of Suzy Miller yesterday. It was her birthday. I didn’t call her but she doesn’t ever call me anymore. I think that as time passes we are practically dispersing in two different worlds. She’s very caught-up in her parish at this time.

I went to mom’s house for breakfast when Sherri telephoned.
“Hi Mike, do you want to go bike ride later today?”
“That sounds great…if only my bike were fixed and ready to go.”
Oh well.

I lounged at home and watched an old Lana Turner 1946 classic film called “The Postman Always Rings Twice.” Mom always praised that one as ‘so very good’. It’s about a married woman and a drifter who fall in love. They plot to murder her husband but even once the deed is done, they must live with the consequences of their actions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi4UaQWN_H8
After watching it I went to mom’s house to cook my lean cuisine dinner.

I watched more television (Ripley’s Believe It Or Not & McGyver). Once home at my place I was watching a movie called “Tough Love” about a problem teenager.

After all of the stories on film I decided to ‘hit the hay’. While in bed I recalled that I’d had a dream the other night. Russ, the guy from my gym, was in the dream. It’s now a blur; however, a lot of people have tomorrow as a day off. It’s Columbus Day. I have to work.

I received a great LONDON postcard from Leonard on Saturday. Lorraine Garcia also sent me a humorous card of a dog working out. She wrote ‘keep up the good work’. That was nice of her.

Tonight I dwelled on people ‘in my life’ this year: 1985…
January…Bob Umland
March….Ron Shelly
April…….Jim Koran
May---August…….Rachelle Davies
September….Paloma a la Paris
October……Leonard
…and what of Karen Melton, the mysterious one?

"Time and silence are the only medicines."
-John Adams, 2008, mini-series

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What a Rip-off!

"If you suppose I'm going to let you make a fool of me just dismiss that notion from your mind."
-as heard in the 2002 film "Daniel Deronda"
starring Hugh Dancy

Twenty five years ago today:

October 12, 1985
Saturday

I got up extra early and went to San Francisco for my Saturday overtime day. I arrived at 6AM or so. Margaret and I went to a Chinese bakery. I love those little egg custard pies. We worked from 7AM until 3PM. The time actually moved along pretty fast. The hard part was the realization that it was such a beautiful day. It doesn’t matter because both of my bicycles need to go in to the shop ASAP.

After work I met a 3:30PM appointment at New Look. It cost me twenty-five dollars for this haircut. The guy did an okay job but there doesn’t look like much of a cut. What the hell…what a rip-off.

When I arrived at my parked car I had a little $3.25 envelope posted to my windshield. What a rip-off! I could have parked for free over on California Street.

After the overtime work day I went home to nap.

Denise Vinsonhaler called and invited me to go to Tiffany’s, a club in Contra Costa County. She actually talked me into going, too.

First, I went to ma and pa’s for a bite.

When I arrived at Tiffany’s in Walnut Creek at around 9:30PM I was disappointed. It cost me a six dollars entrance fee just to get into this club. I ordered water to start and they charged me twenty-five cents for the water! Unbelievable. What a rip-off! Denise was not even in the club. I left at 11:20PM. I came home; JO’d and fell asleep quickly.


"In this music LOVE was the dancer: Joy Division, New Order, The Smiths...all sang what we were feeling."
-John DiCarlo, New York
as read in the "Telling Tales Out of School" book
edited by Kevin Jennings

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Avoidance Theory

I don't know what happened a year ago, but by now even a numbskull like me has worked out that you've cut off all contact. It's for you to decide who you hang around with, and I don't mean to nag. I just want to tell you that I still think of you as my friend, that I miss your company and would love to have a cup of coffee with you--if you felt like it.
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl Who Played With Fire"

Twenty five years ago today:

October 11, 1985
Friday

It was an okay day at the ‘Okay Corral’…I guess. I spent my two breaks with Margaret. I went ‘on my own’ at lunchtime. Dale clearly carries resentment over Margaret. I believe it’s because I have been with her a lot. He probably believes she is the cause of our demise. However, it’s all of my own volition. It was Helen Wong and Ron Shelly who are the key influential ones (for my feelings against Dale). I won’t mention that my mom is also a key influence as well.

After work I followed Margaret to the Avenues of San Francisco. I had dinner at a place called Alejandro’s with my Section. It appears that Dale and Cindy are becoming very ‘buddy-buddy’. It looks so phony to see them as pals. It’s making Margaret sick to see it. It kind of makes me laugh. They’re both the right size for each other anyway.

I took Al Martinez’s advice and ordered the paella, a most wonderful Spanish dish. It was good. I had a lot left over to take home. We were all stuffed. I figured-out tonight that Carl Brooks, Margaret Lai and Earl Kirk are probably my favorite section coworkers. Then again, I wonder what they say behind my back.

Steph was giving me these under-the-table undertone signals of how Dean doesn’t face his problems. She mentioned AVOIDANCE to me once before. Although I am not avoiding (as she may well think that I am). Dale and I have run into ‘shit’ like this before. It’s not the first time. All Dale needs to do is turn back the pages of his mind and it will all add up.

After the dinner I headed straight home to Alameda. I attempted some aerobics exercises but I never finished the Intermediate session. I hit the hay…

"He's a dangerous idiot who happens to have a high IQ."
-Astro Boy
2009, Animated Motion-Picture

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Conflicts

"I wish she'd stop that. It's one of those mating rituals. I don't understand."
-as heard while watching
DEXTER, Season I, Episode I                                                                                                                                                              
Another story found on my bedside pillow while staying at the Inn of the Anasazi in Santa Fe, New Mexico in August 2010 is being shared on my blog today. It's called "The World Catches Fire".
The World Catches Fire
There is a telling about Flycatcher, who lived on the dry prairie. She had her neck on the ground. Coyote was out hunting as usual and saw the young birds in the nest.   He stopped and looked at them.
"What are you doing," he asked.
"Nothing," they replied.
"You look nice and fat. Where is your mother?"
Now Flycatcher had told them that if Coyote should come along, they were to open their mouths wide so as to scare him away. So they opened their mouths as wide as they could.
Coyote ran off to his house in a great fright. Before entering, he looked back and saw the spot where the nest was and the birds with their mouths still wide open and red as fire.
"The world is on fire," he shouted from his roof top to all the other animals.
To his family he cried, "Come, we must go to the river where we shall be safe."
When they arrived, he made all his family jump into the water. They swam around until they became tired and drowned.
The other animals waited, but nothing could be seen of the burning world. So they decided to see where Coyote and his family had gone. They followed the footprints to the river.
Then they said, "Because Coyote is so cowardly, he always finds trouble before it can find him. That is how Thought Woman said it would be."
And that is how it all happened.
Twenty five years ago today:
October 10, 1985
Thursday

Well, I worked four hours of overtime. I arrived to work at 8AM and I was released at 9PM. The one good thing about it is that I don’t have to deal with the excess traffic in getting home.

There is a mighty aura of change in my Section G now. There is the Margaret Lai vs. Cindy Chow war going on. And there is the conflict between Dale and me. Stephanie Bautista, the boss, talked to me yesterday. I told her about it. I didn’t give names but I did say that someone from a completely different office (namely my sister-in-law, Helen Wong-Armijo) told me some unbelievable stories that she happened to hear through the grapevine.
I explained to Stephanie, “Dale tells his own version of stories as you know. Then he says that he has read my private journal which adds credibility to whatever he says.”
“Really?” Steph asked with a puzzled look.
“The crazy thing is that he hasn’t read my journal. I just don’t appreciate his whole lifestyle, eyeing every Tom, Dick and Harry.”
I meant what I said literally. Other things that Dale does seem so miniscule but when added up they equal something major.

Dale seems to think Margaret Lai has influenced me in some way. She hasn’t done so at all. Dale has been ignoring both Margaret and I. He doesn’t even utter a “hello” on any given day.
I say, “If he wants to hold a grudge…then fine.”
I still have to work with him though. I wonder if he regrets giving his son, Andrew, the middle name of ‘Michael Joe’.

It’s taken me long enough to know the real Dale.
“He’s got a lot of growing-up to do,” Stephanie said in his defense.
“I agree.”
Steph continued, “I should talk with him and tell him.”
“I think so.”
I truly don’t want to give him names, dates and details. I may brush over the facts in a letter to him one day.

I’ve been taking breaks with Margaret lately. I do enjoy her company. She wants me to bring my niece, Ashley, out to San Francisco one Saturday or Sunday.
“We can go out and have Dim Sum and then we can dress Ashley like a real China Doll.”
I laughed.
“I think that would be fun. I really want to do that. I know Ashley would enjoy it, too.”

I was tired by the time nine o’clock rolled around. I went home and did my aerobics tape up to the Advanced Waist training section. Then I showered and crashed for the night. I felt a little guilty because I didn’t complete the entire workout tape.
I thought, “Hell, it was a long work day today!”

Mom had spoken to me on the phone earlier today.
Mom said, “John came over.”
“Yeah, what did he say?”
“Well, he depressed me because he and Sherri are breaking-up.”
“You know, mom, it’s better for Ashley to be in a loving environment than to be around them fighting all of the time.”
I guess Sherri ‘sort of’ wants to get married to John and have another baby (a boy this time). John’s not so gung-ho over the idea. I guess (and I’m sure) it’s tough to be in his position. I mean, he’s a bartender and he surely sees beautiful women who order drinks from him. And then he has to go home to deal with Sherri’s bickering and non-house cleaning ways. I do care about John and Ashley’s well-being. Does that sound ludicrous? They are a part of me. They are my bloodline so-to-speak. Correction: They ARE my bloodline.

"We each make our own decisions in life."
-North Face, 2008, German film

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